Not so ladylike

Maris posted a video on my Facebook today that reminded her of us.

We’ve perfected the art of pajama couture, overstuffed bottomless pits purses, stellar dance moves, and going straight for the hard stuff.  The subtle nuances of flirting are completely lost on us.  Vulgar language– with entirely TMI– is the only language.  It may be a cold day in hell before anyone classifies us as ‘ladies,’ but we’re still awesome.  Beyond awesome.  And we revel in our awesomeness.

My coworkers will appreciate this description as well seeing as how they liken my awkwardness to Kristen Stewart.  Just don’t confuse my clumsiness, penchant for excessively casual men’s clothing [which sometimes causes strangers to question the which team I’m batting for], and lack of lady skills with a lack of class.  I know how to behave.  Mom and Dad raised me right.  This classy broad can turn it on when she needs to….which thankfully isn’t often.  Now if you’ll excuse me while I go unleash my inner Southern belle.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

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About Cocktails With Hemingway

I'm blunt and opinionated. Virtually everything I say or do is a contradiction but I'm not a hypocrite. I never hesitate to speak my mind and never fail to leave an impression wherever I go. You love me, you hate me, but you'll never forget me.
This entry was posted in Da Real Homiez, Employment, Humor, Maris- my soul sister, My Parents and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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