Once upon a time a boy called Z rekindled my light. And I haven’t stopped glowing since! Never in a million years did I think I’d find ‘the one.’ I truly didn’t think such a concept existed for me, yet almost thirty years into life I found him. He’s the yang to my yin, the Clyde to my Bonnie, and the other pea in my pod. Like he says we “share gray matter and a soul.” How grateful I am to have somebody just as weird and dorky standing by my side. Z, I love you.
A week ago my sicker half was admitted into the hospital for a few days. While I understand we’ll be dealing with health issues ad infinitum that doesn’t make it any easier. I can’t stand to see him in pain. It takes every ounce of restraint to stop myself from pulling a Dr. Quinn or showcasing my Google M.D. in the presence of actual physicians. Why can’t they monitor his prescriptions?! If he requires two medications that don’t mesh you would think the [semi-obvious] solution involves adding a third variable to counteract one of those. Apparently not. He says my tears are unbearable. I can’t bear to see him writhing around in agony, hooked up to heart monitors and various IV’s, virtually crying himself. What I wouldn’t do to make things less painful for him….yet all I can do is watch helplessly. There’s no doubt in my mind that stress exacerbates his illness– but how do we remedy that? Only two things would help and I don’t see either one of them happening for quite sometime. Sigh.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,