It’s October

October marks the beginning of fall, my favorite season.  Despite the welcome changes of autumn it is a month of great sorrow for me.  Jacob and Ashley passed three years apart.  It is only recently I began to understand– and make peace with– the struggles of my former housemate.  His loss completely disoriented me.  Her illness only added to my daze.  She was the first that I lost to cancer.  Such an arbitrary killer, the C-word strikes indiscriminately, and it’s beyond unfair.  I’ll never understand why otherwise healthy people lose their lives from being sick.  I pray that my friends found the peace that evaded them in life.

Jacob (4/3/81-10/11/06) & Ashley (11/10/85-10/7/09)

Jacob Fernald (4/3/81-10/11/06)
Ashley Abernathy (11/10/85-10/7/09)

October 13th is my sixth wedding anniversary.  Mazel tov!  I haven’t the slightest clue where my ‘husband’ is but I do know our divorce is pending.  Regardless of everything that has happened…the fact that I am no longer married is depressing on a certain level.  Nobody wants to exchange vows knowing their holy matrimony will be kaput long before any seven year itch.  However, I am eternally grateful to Will for giving me two children that transcend our failed union.  Without him [and, uh, his DNA] I would never be a mother and not a day goes by where I don’t appreciate the precious gifts he gave me.

Malden, 2006

Happier times in Malden, 2006

Reconnecting with an old friend, Jason, helped me out of my October funk.  He popped up on the ‘people you may know’ feature on Facebook.  It made my day!  Once upon a time I [jokingly] asked him to marry me at Metro.  I was barely 18 but he giggled and said:  “We shouldn’t.”  And then I dumped the contents of my purse on the floor.  What crazy lives we lived.  You cannot be old and wise without first being young and crazy.  In which case I am geriatric a thousand times over with Buddha-like wisdom.  😉

Look who I found!

Look who I found! Photo taken shortly before we rang in 2004– an NYE party of epic proportions.

In the immortal words of the Kottonmouth Kings:  Life Rolls On.  After Halloween comes November, which is even worse than October.  Can we just strike October through December off the calendar entirely?  I’ll get through it as I always do but emotionally this season takes quite the toll on me.  Bring on January and the new year.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,



About Cocktails With Hemingway

I'm blunt and opinionated. Virtually everything I say or do is a contradiction but I'm not a hypocrite. I never hesitate to speak my mind and never fail to leave an impression wherever I go. You love me, you hate me, but you'll never forget me.
This entry was posted in * R. i. P. *, Da Real Homiez, Memories, Will Reed and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to It’s October

  1. Sarah says:

    I totally agree with October-December OFF the calendar: a few reasons: funerals: MeMae, Daddy, Cousin Gillie, the beginning if the end of Lottie and more. And then, there’s Christmas: my least favorite holiday for the reasons above.

    Sent from my iPhone


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