My mother recently expressed her hesitation regarding my decision to be on a free dating service. She said– and I quote– “the dredges of humanity get on a site like that.” Gee thanks, mom. I know she’s concerned about everyone else on the site as opposed to her darling daughter and she makes a valid point. Apologies in advance to anyone I offend with this statement….but I have not yet reached the level of desperation associated with paying for a dating website. I’ll spend money on a lot of things. Access to a select pool of suitors isn’t one of them. Nor would I want to date anyone who spends their hard earned cash on Match.com.
How’s the foray into online dating going? While I have no basis for comparison, I think I’m somewhat popular, receiving anywhere from half a dozen to 25+ messages a day. When judging the communication skills of others I have a tendency to be brutal….but when you [not to be confused with ‘u’] send me a message the onus is on you for a successful conversation. Generally speaking I respond to most messages. But I can’t do that if you don’t give me anything to talk about. I like to ask questions, share opinions, and make observations when I’m having a dialogue. So say something that enables me to do those things. Conversation should flow freely. If it doesn’t then I’m probably not talking to the right person.
One of the most awesome features of my site [can you detect the sarcasm here?] is the ability to send a rose to another member. I sent my first rose several days ago! That’s what happens when you reference your love for Cocktails With Hemingway in your opening line. 😉
I find myself scanning my new messages and reading some before others. That’s about the closest I’ve gotten to hoping I hear from somebody. Not to suggest I don’t enjoy corresponding with some more than others, but nobody’s had me sprinting to the computer with anticipation. However, I have created a favorites list, another feature on the site. There aren’t a ton of people on there but of the distinguished ones there are a wide variety ‘types’ [I use that term loosely until I get to know somebody in person] and looks. Good conversation is the only thing that gets you on that list. It’s puzzling to me why I am on the favorites list of people who have never contacted me. What’s up with that?
A few more fishies have gotten my phone number. Remember that handsome fella who liked punk music? He’s the first [and only] guy I’ve asked for his number. I’ll probably text him after I write this. Three more dates with three different people are in the works. I’m even going on a vacation to Hawaii with a lucky dude next July! How’s that for spontaneity? We’re researching it now and figure we have a whole year to get to know each other. If he doesn’t seem like somebody I’d want to travel with then I’ll island hop alone. I’m especially excited about the prospect of going on a ride with a guy who has a Harley. Yet at the same time that makes me sad and second homesick. Doyle is my favorite Harley driver and I wish I was riding with him. =(
Two more pet peeves about online dating: the status question and pushy guys. The number of times I’ve been asked if I am single stretches into the double digits. Um, isn’t everyone if they’re on a dating website? Last time I checked I didn’t join Ashley Madison so it’s pretty much a given that I’m single– and I certainly hope [and expect] you are too. And I must say that being overly aggressive is the quickest way to never hear from me again. When I say I’m not comfortable giving you my phone number or not interested in going on a date that is not your cue to change my mind. I’ve already made my decision. Attempting to persuade me otherwise is not only annoying but disrespectful.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,