One of the first things I did upon my return to Memphis was enjoy a delicious lunch at Ruby Tuesday with Maris. We saw David, the manager, shortly after we walked inside. I gave him a brief synopsis of everything that had happened in the past two years. He probably doesn’t even remember this conversation– but I’ll never forget what he said to me.
“When it comes to men, whatever it is you’re doing….do the exact opposite.”
What a pearl of wisdom. It’s almost Buddha-like in the fact that it’s so simple yet so profound. No doubt he meant what he said but I’m sure he was trying to be comical as well. Guess what, David? I’m taking you seriously and that’s my new mantra!
10/13/12. Exactly three months from today. I won’t even entertain the notion of dating seriously or exclusively until then. During that time I’m going to play the field to the best of my ability. Lest you think I’m a harlot, take a moment to consider how infrequently I’ll be anywhere near this proverbial field. I am a single mother of two children who works 30-35 hours a week while juggling my writing. I don’t have a car. I don’t go out on work nights and I won’t leave my house until the kids are asleep. Provided somebody has a wide open calendar and can schedule around my convenience…I’ll be able to see them twice a week if their lucky. But at least I’m attempt to play the field instead of jumping from relationship to relationship! That’s the first thing I’m doing differently.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I joined a [free] dating website. Spare me the Craigslist Killer tales and know that I’ll take necessary safety precautions if I actually meet somebody face to face that I ‘met’ on a computer. There is simply no time for me to meet male suitors in the conventional sense, especially since I rarely leave the house or socialize with other adults. Most importantly I’m not dipping into the same pool of dudes I know through mutual friends. After dating half of Sea Isle Middle School’s male population I’ve come to the conclusion that’s not working for me. That’s the second thing I’m doing differently.
My objective is twofold: step out of my comfort zone and hold potential dates to the highest standards. Nobody should intimidate me. And they won’t. I have a lot to offer the right person…regardless of their occupation or income. I’m over trying to reform the loser, bad boy, or loser bad boy. It’s not ‘snobby’ to want somebody ambitious who is going places, it’s called having standards. When I refer to stepping out of my comfort zone I plan to give everyone who gets past a certain point [more on that later] the chance to have some face time– even if I’m not sure if the chemistry is there or wouldn’t necessarily go for that ‘type.’ You never know until you try. That’s the third thing I’m doing differently.
Slow your roll, Sloane. I’m looking forward to online dating because I know it will force me to go back to basics. Back in high school– when cell phones were dumb, plans were much more restrictive, and text messages were not yet on the rise– I smuggled a phone to my room every night to call the Malco Movie Hotline [681-2020!]. My parents wouldn’t hear the phone ring to know my boyfriend was calling and I’d click over and talk for hours. I want a slow, natural progression. If and only if things seem promising after multiple messages exchanged on the computer….I’ll divulge the digits. Everybody texts in this day and age; I prefer texting to talking. But in this case I demand several lengthy phone conversations before it ever goes live. Let’s build a solid friendship first. That’s the fourth thing I’m doing differently.
Would I ever keep my readers out of the loop with my dating escapades? Absolutely not! I plan to chronicle every date and even give a weekly activity summary. To be fair, it says on my profile that I blog. If I start to have wonderful conversations with somebody I’ll remind them of this fact. Mr. Right won’t care and will say it only adds to my charm. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go respond to some of these messages. 😉
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,