January 27th was the last day I saw Adam. Three weeks tomorrow. I’ve never been away from my son for so long. You have to have some sort of coping mechanism so the grief doesn’t overwhelm. Mine is denial: Adam’s not away from me due to factors beyond my control, he’s preoccupied with Camp Ozark. Between tribal competition, morning activities, Mish Mash [afternoon free time], evening vespers, and the nightly special events– he’s way too busy to even write home. So what if it’s not seasonally appropriate for summer camp and he’s three years young than the earliest age of admission? This is how I attempt to ‘deal’ with our family situation. Of course it’s largely ineffective because I know that he’s not comfortably ensconced in the Ouachita mountains….but sometimes I can fool myself, albeit temporarily.
I’m terrified that Adam is suffering from a form of Parental Alienation Syndrome. In layman’s terms, this is a condition where children separated from their caregiver begin to resent– if not be openly hostile towards– said caregiver. Adam’s certainly never been hostile with me but it’s obvious that he is extremely upset, angry, and confused. There have been multiple occasions where he has all but hung up on me over the phone when I have to tell him that he can’t come to my apartment. I don’t have age-appropriate answers to his tough questions. He resents me.
5 days until Tatum’s arrival. ❤
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,