“On Children”

Photo by Melissa Calvert - Overton Square, Memphis '09

 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Several years ago during the Mother’s Day service at Neshoba I encountered these words for the first time.  Ever since I’ve regarded it as a central component of my parenting philosophy.  Children need love, security, guidance, structure, encouragement, and support from their parents.  Somebody who is a role model that quietly leads by example.  Beyond that….their path in the world is theirs to make.  This is not to suggest I will let my kids run wild in the name of ‘finding themselves’ but young people need room for growth and exploration.  Within a reasonable context they deserve the freedom to discover themselves and their world.

I especially love the line:  “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”  What are some of the most meaningful parental writings to you?

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,



About Cocktails With Hemingway

I'm blunt and opinionated. Virtually everything I say or do is a contradiction but I'm not a hypocrite. I never hesitate to speak my mind and never fail to leave an impression wherever I go. You love me, you hate me, but you'll never forget me.
This entry was posted in Adam, Kids, Neshoba, Pregnancy, Spirituality, The Wee One, Words of Wisdom. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to “On Children”

  1. GiGi says:

    Well, you are my daughter, but i would have chosen your poem as my favorite….i still have my Gibran books from the ’60’s, and actually re-read now and then

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s