Nobody disputes the fact that I’ve earned the right to be overly cautious and paranoid given everything that’s happened over the course of the past few months. So many people would love to see me break, whether it’s sinking into a depression so deep I can barely function or getting so infuriated I snap. Sorry to disappoint….but I refuse to give anyone that satisfaction. I have my moments– and my emotions range the gamut– yet my focus remains on my children. It is my job to protect my kids from the evil in this world. For so long when asked my parenting goals and objectives I offered an eloquent response about providing them with guidance, love, and support while setting an example yet stressing the importance of carving their own path in this world. Never once did I say ‘keeping them safe’ because that’s so elementary it’s just implied. Wrong. Protecting your children from a wide variety of terrible things and people [pure evil is everywhere] is a 24/7 job.
As delighted as I am to give birth, I’m extremely apprehensive. I’ll be a sitting duck at Twin Cities. All I’m going to say regarding that is my attorney and I have a contingency plan. Nobody is going to rain on my birthing parade. Twin Cities looks to be a great hospital and I’ve been very pleased with the care I’ve received there [both in the ER and Labor & Delivery]. Brandi and I are going to tour the maternity ward soon and I know she’ll be best support person ever while Tatum’s making her debut.
Speaking of Brandi— I am so privileged to have a friend like her. Last night she came over with Raven [her daughter] and gave me a much needed haircut and a fabulous pedicure. How nice it will be to finally wear my hair down now that it’s all one length. It looks kind of funky because it’s still two different colors but I’m not going to use any hardcore chemicals to strip the black from it until after Tatum’s born. Tonight she cooked a delicious Mexican feast so I went over there for dinner. Overall I’m in much better spirits.
Brandi and I are both quite sad that her sworn statement wasn’t given the proper reverence in court [meaning it was completely ignored] and I never got to be a witness. My favorite government agency probably worries I’ll incriminate them, but they really shouldn’t. All I’d do is plead the fif like Mr. Chappelle in the video below. 😉
Huge thanks to my incredible mama who generously offered to pay my cable bill for the month so I could have some extra dinero to spend on goodies for Tatum. I can’t wait to post photos of their room once I finish it! It’s virtually complete, just waiting on some finishing touches and pictures. Be sure and check my Facebook for lots of precious old photos of Adam. I added dozens from his birth and the first few months of his life. Remember that archaic social network called MySpace? Once upon a time that was all I used so there were lots of images that the Facebook world has not seen.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,