Chaos ensued this morning when I arrived at the office. We’re not open on Fridays yet I wanted to meet our coffee distributor so all of our congregants would be sufficiently caffeinated come Sunday. The alarm went off and I waddled downstairs in attempts to avoid the police dispatch, to no avail. Shortly before the officer arrived the alarm sounded again [while I was on the phone with the security company nonetheless] so that was a pain. Luckily the technician’s coming Monday so hopefully that’s a successful mission. Better to be overreactive than unresponsive!
Adam and I had a wonderful morning. He loved meeting Wanda. Maybe sometime before his eighteenth birthday he’ll get to enjoy a ride. He was filled with loaded questions today [“Are you still married to Daddy?” “When can I come home with you?” “Does sister live with us or does she stay with my aunt?” “How much does Daddy love you?”] that broke my heart while simultaneously making my blood boil. I seriously contemplated calling my social worker to defer to her unsurpassed authority on matters of consequence….but opted against it.
Today’s meeting with my therapist went well. She insisted upon a meeting with herself [and her supervisor] and my social worker [and her supervisor] along with me. Our hope is that in a group setting our concerns will not be dismissed because they will go ‘on the record’ for multiple individuals to hear. Additionally, they intend to medically refute some of the diagnoses that came from Dr. Will. They’ll also inquire as to why the social worker refuses to amend the report when there is factual evidence exonerating me from some of the less than savory allegations.
I know I’ve reneged on my original stance to say nothing regarding all of this. Do I have a choice? Not the way I see it….while I have always [and will always] be compliant with the powers that be, gone are the days where I am cooperative and polite. See how far that got me. Gone are the days of frustration– and utter helplessness– where I feel backed into a corner. Nobody puts Sloane Reed in a corner! I’ll use my proverbial sledgehammer to knock down the walls and create my own exit, thank you very much.
Without going into too much detail– that’s disrespectful to Facebook and/or CWH about job plans before I speak directly to my employers– I need to consider my options for an early maternity leave as soon as possible. Three professionals now have told me that my bed rest should have started, like, yesterday. Sigh.
Forgive me for my failure to adequately blog. I’m just so drained.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,