“Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men’s imperfections, and conceal your own.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
No doubt you’ve by now noticed the conspicuous absence of postings regarding Adam and my legal situation. It’s beyond upsetting to be rendered speechless when it comes to expressing how much I miss my son and grieve his absence– especially during the holiday season. Although I adhere to a self-imposed gag order, I refuse to post even a single word on Cocktails With Hemingway that could be misconstrued, distorted, taken out of context, or otherwise used against me in any capacity. My emotions range the gamut from despair to rage to frustration to helplessness to stress to confusion to apprehension to outrage to shock and everything in between. And that’s all I will share until this ordeal ends.
My reasoning for staying mum on the legal aspects requires little explanation but I’ll enlighten you regardless:
1) See above explanation regarding things I say/write being used against me.
2) Nobody divulges their legal strategy.
3) Obviously there are many confidential documents and reports in this case and I honor that.
4) It is imperative for the duration of my pregnancy that I remain as healthy as possible and that involves managing my stress and anxiety to the best of my ability. Once I start fixating on the details of this case it tends to snowball and I become a nervous wreck. However, I am taking meticulous notes and writing furiously [though not as much as you may expect]….yet instead of publishing those thoughts here they go into a password protected Word document on my desktop.
My attorney and I were both surprised [though I’m certainly not going to say ‘shocked’ because nothing in this system phases me anymore] that today’s court experience resulted in yet another continuation because we were fully prepared. Unfortunately the judge could not allot sufficient time for us this afternoon, but in the end it’s probably for the best as there is now ample evidence [versus unsubstantiated allegations and hearsay] that needs to be considered. Additionally, it gives me another two weeks to demonstrate my diligence and commitment to the ‘parenting plan’ that seems to be held as the Holy Grail of all CPS cases.
January 4th, 2012 at 8:30 marks our full hearing. We’ve reserved six hours for it and even still it will most likely continue into the ‘extra time’ allotted on the morning on January 6th. Evidence will be presented, I’ll be questioned and cross-examined by the attorneys [in addition to mine there are lawyers for Will, CPS, and Adam], and the judge makes a decision. It is rare for them to disagree with CPS but I think ours is a very unique and complex case….and they’ve seen that I’ve lawyered up and refuse to back down. I cherish the small victories– such as Adam coming with me to Christmas services at church tomorrow and Tatum’s 3D ultrasound– and stay focused on our ultimate goal.
Another notable event from today involves Adam’s Indian heritage. My attorney and I declared a direct link to the Cherokee tribe through Will’s side of the family. Will’s maternal great-grandmother was a full blooded Cherokee. I’ve never identified my son as Native American but it has the potential to drastically affect the way this case is handled. It could also prove time consuming and complicate things even more, so we’ll see, but either way I think it’s important this is on the record.
I am so grateful for the attorney who spoke up in the courtroom [she was not involved in our case] to inform the judge that she had a case that was getting continued on January 4th otherwise we would have had to wait until February. Can you even imagine? This is MY CHILD. Our family has been all but destroyed and people are nonchalantly flipping through their calendars trying to find a convenient date for themselves. Does anybody care about what this has done to Adam? As a part of my ‘parenting plan’ I have to schedule a million and one appointments with various professionals– suffice it to say I’m always polite but very assertive when it comes to getting face time– and it’s frustrating and disheartening [to say the least] when nobody else shares your sense of urgency.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,