Screw you, Lord Megatron

Idiocy at its finest

Some of my fondest memories throughout childhood and my teenage years involve going to the movies with my cousins and dad. We’ve purchased advanced tickets, waited in lines on opening day that wrapped around the theater, and rushed the concession stand to stock up on goodies– all of us were very well versed in all things cinema. I’ve been interested in film for as long as I can remember.

While my tastes have changed and expanded throughout the years, the rare excursion [have you looked at ticket prices lately?!] to Malco delights me, especially if it’s a film where the audience’s energy is almost palpable. Most exhilarating of all of these are series…..Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, etc.

Let me tell you one franchise that will never get a dime of my money: Transformers. Michael Bay has made a career of blowing stuff up so I’m sure I won’t have to look far to find something else to satiate my appetite for destruction. Other than Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox I have no idea who stars in them, so it’s no aversion to the actors, though I’m not particularly familiar wither either one of them. It’s not even the premise, either. Machines are cars that turn into robots with mass firepower. Woohoo! Certainly it’s not realistic but I’ve heard of concepts much more far-fetched.

Why do I despise Transformers so? Because the person who stalked and harassed me for years loves it. That alone is enough to make me vow to never watch any of them. I’ll literally change the channel if I stumble across a preview. It makes me sick to my stomach.

Lord Megatron. All I know is that he is a character/transformer/whatever the hell you call them. However, Lord Megatron doesn’t just grace the screen at your local multiplex or bounce around on the pages of your comic books! My stalker referred to himself as…..Lord Megatron. Apparently the arch-nemesis [bookmark this term because I’ll revisit it later] of Lord Megaton is some sort of Octagon Prime– really?!– and that was me. Even though I’m cracking up as I type this there’s absolutely nothing funny about it because this deranged lunatic took my peace of mind and did not stop until the police were involved.

In retrospect I realize there were glaring red flags regarding Lord Megatron’s behavior, most of which stemmed from his obsession with superheroes, villains, and comic books. I know plenty of sane, well-liked, and socially adept individuals– of all ages and genders– who collect comic books and have a healthy appreciation for superheroes. This is normal. Who hasn’t emulated a superhero, especially as a child? Not to suggest this is something you should ‘grow out of’…..I know I can’t sit through a Spiderman movie without wishing webs could shoot from my fingertips while I leap tall buildings in a single bound, scale vertical surfaces, fly all over the globe, and save the world on my off day. Doesn’t everyone want that?! I no longer read comics [back in the day I had quite the Betty & Veronica collection] though I certainly don’t think anything less of people who enjoy them, especially graphic novels or those illustrated stories with a more complicated plot better suited for adults.

My problem is when people’s obsession with superheroes, villains, and comics becomes entwined with their perception, thus skewing their version of reality. In the case of Lord Megatron, he was so caught up in his fantasy world he could not distinguish fact from fiction. Not only is this unhealthy but it has the potential to become dangerous. Whether it’s comic books, video games, or anything else– a hobby should not evolve into a delusion. Please do not read this and go assault that geeky heterosexual boy who would not detach himself from World of Warcraft if a beautiful, naked woman was two feet away from him just dying to take his V card….but be mindful of those who do not seem fully grounded in reality. Whether it’s stalkers or rapists or serial killers, I’ve found that there is a noticeable detachment in these types even if these people can retain some semblance of normalcy and function in the world relatively well.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane [a.k.a. Octagon Prime]


About Cocktails With Hemingway

I'm blunt and opinionated. Virtually everything I say or do is a contradiction but I'm not a hypocrite. I never hesitate to speak my mind and never fail to leave an impression wherever I go. You love me, you hate me, but you'll never forget me.
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6 Responses to Screw you, Lord Megatron

  1. Oh and PS– I totally forgot to explain my issues with the term ‘arch nemesis’ but this entry drained me so I’ll do that at a later date.

  2. okay so number one, not to rain on your knowledge of Transformers, but i’m pretty sure its Optimus Prime? (just sayiN!) but also, i don’t know if i remember the comic book obsession!? well, i remember him wearing t-shirts of kid stuff.. and i remember him talking a lot about kid movies from back in the day and always talking about kids.. i just thought he was a pedophile or something.. can’t believe i was wrong! obsessive stalking to the point of life threatening comments were just not where i expected that to go! man my radar was off.. hehe πŸ™‚

  3. ** Correction: OPTIMUS Prime, not octagon **
    Does that show you how much I care?! Google says you are correct πŸ˜‰

    I do remember him discussing comics and graphic novels though I am not sure if he collected them or was just familiar with the story lines– but I definitely remember frequent references to superheroes and villains. And yes, he certainly did talk about kids! Lord knows he wanted my fetus.

  4. Megan – How hysterical is this? Some person [to protect privacy I will not reveal the gender] who I met relatively recently– and reads this blog– accepted a friend request from the guy in question. He/she makes the connection VERY quickly that this ‘friend’ is who I wrote about in my blog. Without me even mentioning a name he/she tells me that his postings demonstrate a ‘serious disconnect from reality’ and a ‘very angry’ person……and he/she tells me the name and, lo and behold, it was the same dude.

    Here’s the kicker: Apparently he reads this blog and considers this post “cyberbulling” and wants to go to the police. That’s ironic considering he wrote all over his blog how he wanted to “blow up the pig” that told him to leave me alone AND WROTE DOWN THE POLICEMAN’S PHONE NUMBER and encouraged everyone to call it. There’s also the part where he calls me by name and threatens to murder me and my fetus. I’m so glad I saved all of that stuff, including the message couple of weeks ago where he IM’ed me just to say ‘hi’ [because you know, if you have been “tormented” (another word he used) you’re just so eager to say hello to that person]! Methinks Lord Megatron’s short circuiting. πŸ˜‰


  5. I think it give those who engage in fantasy a bad rep when you get nutbunnies that do that stuff. Take D&D, and live vampire games…i went to one once, I can’t judge all things off one go, but it left a bad taste when i went in high school, and some creep didn’t get no means no about ‘fake’ biting me! ridiculous…Now, I’m a huge Bay fan, but I understand why you feel this want a great Bay flick w/o all the FX and blowing shit up? watch Texas Chainsaw w/ Jessica Beil…OMG. GREAT cinematography, and her ass is epic! πŸ™‚

  6. Mariah, I’m so glad you used the word FANTASY. It’s fun to indulge in fantasy….as long as you don’t confuse it with reality! Or if you become disengaged from life because of fantasy worlds– that is hugely problematic.

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