What’s up, zygote?


Will and I are expanding our family! According to my calculations, Adam’s sibling should arrive at the beginning of February 2012. I wanted to wait to share the news officially on this blog until I had the confirmation from the doctor– which occurred this morning– but I have yet to see my OB/GYN. As soon as I do I will share an official due date and post the first ultrasound photo. Why I have to wait over two weeks for this initial visit is beyond me but I’m thankful for them working me in as early as possible and hoping for a cancellation.

The two of us are absolutely thrilled….but grounded in reality. After the initial shock wore off [more on that later], we got right down to business. For those of you who are blissfully unaware babies are Really. Effing. Expensive. I am unemployed and we live with my parents. What sounds like a recipe for disaster is only a temporary scenario as we have a game plan for independent living– and the financial resources to back said plan– so we’re having to launch into the next phase of our lives much sooner than anticipated. Will has been a godsend when it comes to gaining employment and maximizing our benefits.

And yes, the cumulative expense of a baby for the first two decades of its life is 3240445343 million dollars and completely drains you of monetary assists– but isn’t it worth it? Forgoing a few tropical vacations over the next few years to watch my children frolic together in the backyard is the ultimate reward in life. The prospect of being a mother for a second time overjoys me. With my husband, church family, and all those who support us I know that our family will always be surrounded by love and encouragement.

I could not and would not do this without my husband. Our last pregnancy was….less than ideal…and he missed some major milestones of Adam’s early development.  This is his chance to be the father he has always wanted to be.  I’m so glad we’re finally doing this together, as we should have from the beginning.  He will be my rock.

My family, on the other hand, is less than thrilled. Nary a congratulations from any of them [can’t say I was expecting accolades to rain from the sky] but my father is totally silent. I don’t feel as though it’s out of anger or spite, more along the lines of a total loss for words or maybe even some strange sense of intimidation. Mom pleaded with me to focus on my future and consider all my options– this is not to suggest she was dragging me by my hair to Planned Parenthood– but I certainly understand why she would feel as though this is not our prime baby making time. As for the rest of the family, they’ve stayed mum. Black Sheep Sloane always manages to get in some sort of scandal, eh? 😉

But you do know this was preventable, right?” someone asked. No, actually, I had no idea. One day in 2007 I hopped out of bed and decided I wanted to be a mom. Remembering a tale I learned in Sunday School, I clicked my heels together three times and squealed “Immaculate Conception!” and nine months later I was swaddling Adam in my arms. This time around I left my succubus costume and home and Will took all the appropriate measures as to not give me another virgin birth while we hugged passionately while fully clothed– but sometimes these things happen. I refuse to use the term ‘accident’ because that just doesn’t seem very PC since the ‘unintended yet welcome consequence’ remains.

On a final note, as soon as The Wee One is extracted from my abdomen, I’m getting my tubes tied. Any leftover tubes will be promptly re-tired. We’ll even tie them again a third time for good measure. My uterus is closed for business…..thank you and goodnight.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,



About Cocktails With Hemingway

I'm blunt and opinionated. Virtually everything I say or do is a contradiction but I'm not a hypocrite. I never hesitate to speak my mind and never fail to leave an impression wherever I go. You love me, you hate me, but you'll never forget me.
This entry was posted in Adam, Changes, Family, Sloane, The Wee One, Will Reed. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to What’s up, zygote?

  1. Stephen T says:

    congrats sloane.


  2. I received a second comment for this post which I did not publish because they did not include their name and gave a fake email address. If you cannot– publicly– stand by your words then I don’t think you deserve to be heard. That’s my policy and it most certainly extends to this blog. If that person is reading, I encourage them to take pride in their opinion and speak to the masses.

    While the person apologized if they sounded ‘harsh’ [something you should never apologize for if you ask me], that is not what bothered me about their comment. Hello, have you seen the response to my Associated Content article?! I can handle ANYTHING in terms of criticism.

    Said comment was rife with inaccuracies and misinformation that makes me question how well the person knows me or if they’ve even met me at all. Of course those people are still entitled to their thoughts– I’m sure lots of folks reading this have never met me– but it can be rather annoying to have to reiterate basic fact.

  3. Congratulations, Sloane! I have every bit of faith in you and Will. Will has proven himself to be an amazing father! He just needed to grow up a little and get those days out of his way! There is no doubt in my mind that the two of you can make it through anything! I’m so proud of the people you both have become! 🙂 love!

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