Let me preface this by saying I am not singling out Adam’s preschool. Our entire family adores the place. It’s just that this is the first piece of ‘married’ mail I’ve received in a very long time so it made the perfect photo to accompany this post.
Whenever I see the formal name of a married couple in print I cringe. How I despise invitations that only include one spouse’s name. Combining two families should not come at the expense of someone’s identity, even if it is only on paper. This has been a pet peeve of mine for as long as I can remember.
“Mr. & Mrs. Will Reed.”
Yes, I am Will Reed’s wife….but my name is Sloane.
I cannot stand feeling as though I have been diminished solely to Will’s missus. Whenever I address envelopes I put ‘Sloane & Will.’ It’s not fair to put only one surname because even though the last name is the same those are two very separate and very unique people. ‘Will and Sloane Reed’ is the lesser of two evils but it still grates my nerves for the aforementioned reasons. If I’m sending out some formal mail it will be ‘Sloane Reed’ on the first line and ‘Will Reed’ on the second. This is not a feminist issue, but one of identity.
On the topic of irritating postal etiquette, let’s talk about events addressed only to the parents. Even if you’re not welcoming children at your wedding– they’re still a part of the family and their names should be included on the invitation! Obviously you won’t be inviting toddlers to your bachelorette party but I think kids should always be included in the following pieces of mail: holiday cards, letters, thank you notes, family-oriented events, etc. Hell, even if the piece of mail has nothing to do with the wee ones if it’s for one or more person in the house, everyone’s name is on the label.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
SLOANE Lowe Wilke Reed =)