6 years of Tatum

⭐️ Tatum Maris Reed ⭐️

…turned six years old on 21 February!  My precious Pisces princess [alliteration, anyone?] celebrates another year of making our world a better place.  Time truly flies.  Within a matter of days her brother blows out his candles.  When did this happen?!

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that it was a little over six years ago that life was a living hell as I struggled to stay afloat in California.  Dwelling on the negativity accomplishes nothing at this point and I don’t wish to detract from the lighthearted birthday post for my daughter.  Yet I will always associate my pregnancy– and her birth– with that time on the central coast.  Suffice it to say that I never take a moment for granted when it comes to my children being in the same place.


The official birthday shot.

Because her birthday fell on a Wednesday we postponed party plans*** and kept things low key.  Allen was kind enough to spend a portion of his day off shuttling me to Collierville so we could eat lunch with her.  Dad scooped up some Chik Fil A and met us there.  The look on her face when she walked into the room and saw the three of us– priceless!

*** euphemism for life happened so we’re considering our options for the festivities


Our seating arrangement brings a ginormous grin to her face. 😂

Tatum, I love you.  The moment you were born you lit up the darkest days of my life–and your light continues to shine at megawatt strength.  Don’t ever let anyone diminish your spark. 🕯

With infinite love, gratitude, and solitude,


Posted in Al Jizzy, California, Family, Mother Theresa, Motherhood, My Parents, Parenting, School, Tara Oaks, Tatum, Tennessee | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


So much has changed since I outlined this post several days ago but I’m going to proceed as originally planned.  Here’s to hoping I will still have lots of boxes of delicious food to eat despite recent events that may hinder my culinary adventures.  Regardless of what’s on the table I am blessed to have the best family and friends.  I am so grateful for everyone who has reached out to me on Facebook.  Your love, support, and wisdom means the world to me.  


Join me as I venture into the world of meal delivery services…

Dad and I love spending time in the kitchen.  Both of us do a considerable amount of cooking, which we thoroughly enjoy.  I’ve always admired his enthusiasm for sampling new recipes and have embraced this sense of adventure when it comes to our meals.  However, like most families, we struggle– food waste, time crunches, lack of options, picky eaters, etc.  Hearing all the buzz about meal delivery services we decided to hop on board.  Considering the fact that there are no shortage of companies offering boxed meals we figured this would be an ongoing project over the span of several months.  They all offer a first box at a discounted rate so we’ll just move down the line.  Yours truly follows a vegetarian diet so our orders will be customized to exclude meat.  Our first foray will be Hello Fresh.  I’ll be sure to document our experience with photos and a comprehensive review.


Remember that guy I mentioned in my last post?  That didn’t last long.  We’re talking less than two weeks of dating before I was dismissed.  C’est la vie.  He’s a genuinely kind person and I have nothing bad to say about him.  I’m glad we realized sooner rather than later we were ultimately not compatible.

Flying solo allowed me the opportunity to analyze my current position in life and determine what I want in a future relationship.  I embraced being independent and unattached as it gave me quality time with myself– which I desperately needed.  How nice it was to clear my head and focus on me.  Never again will I settle for less than what I deserve.  When the time is right I will be with a man who is worthy.



Snowmaggedon 2018

January brought snow.  It wasn’t the usual icy sludge [though there was some of that] but actual powdered snow.  Kids were out of school for almost a week total.  I stepped outside briefly for the obligatory snow selfie…and promptly retreated into the warmth of my house.  My ‘snow days’ were spent taking hot baths, cozying up with an abundance of reading material, and watching Netflix.  Poor Freya didn’t know what to make of the white stuff on the ground.  Needless to say she was not enthused.  🐶


Made with love by my Daddy 🍅🧀

Never in my life have I been so sick as I was during the first few weeks of 2018.  I caught a particularly brutal strain of the flu.  It was so awful I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.  I ended up in the ER hooked up to IV’s, severely dehydrated, miserable, and feeling like death.  Tamiflu and antibiotics ultimately helped.  Thank God for the miracles of modern medicine.  Endless thanks to my father for making me tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich as soon as I could eat again.


Tatum proudly displays the loss of her first big girl tooth.

Baby girl lost her first tooth!  She got a visit from the tooth fairy [and increased her wealth by a few bucks] and was beyond proud of herself.  I couldn’t help but notice that the spot where she lost her tooth was the exact same one where Adam lost his first one.  These sibling similarities bring a smile to my face.  🤓


I’m not even going to tell you how much two milkshakes and a double scoop of ice cream cost. 🍨

Not one to let his little sister steal all the spotlight, Adam requested a special treat after school.  Allen and I picked him up and took him to Baskin Robbins.  This seemingly ordinary event was highly therapeutic for me because it was so….normal.  I felt like I was a part of something resembling a family unit as opposed to doing the typical single mom thing.


Our aquatic adventure. 🐠 🐟

Allen invested in an aquarium with all the bells and whistles.  We now have Freaky Fin Roethlisberger [is that not the greatest name ever?], FN2187, Fin Affleck, and a moss ball named Sloaner.  Thus far they seem to be getting along fabulously.


We make selfies look good.

Tatum celebrates her sixth birthday next month.  When did this happen?!  I have so much I want to accomplish for my daughter.  Her beautiful face and sassy personality keep me motivated.  Mommy won’t stop until the magic happens.


Fantasy Princess Tea 👸🏻💖👑

Kudos to the Children’s Museum of Memphis for their Fantasy Princess Tea event.  Gigi held down the fort while the rest of us spent Saturday afternoon surrounded by pastries and princesses.  Tatum wore her Frozen dress– complete with twinkling lights and “Let It Go” playing from a speaker hidden within the fabric– and collected autographs from some of her favorite characters.  Kudos to Adam for being such a good sport [seeing how this definitely was not his cup of tea] and indulging his sister.


Excuse the blurry selfie stick fail.  #ghmafia

Come nightfall, a GH Mafia reunion occurred!  Leann was kind enough to open her home to Birdie, Myrtle, Pam, and me.  We spent some time catching up and brainstorming future plans.  Being with these ladies is cathartic and soothing for my soul.  Hopefully next time Brittany— and anyone else that is free and in the area– will join us.  Expect great things from this bunch.


Overall I am in such a great place right now.  I aim to be as productive as possible every day.  I’m happy and healthy.  I know that hard work, ambition, and persistence pay off.  Things will fall into place exactly as they should.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,



Posted in Adam, Al Jizzy, Da Real Homiez, Dating, Employment, Fish, Food, Freya, Health, Memphis, Motherhood, My Parents, Nutrition, Relationships, Reviews, Riverdale, School, Tara Oaks, Tatum | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment



Our official family shot for the holidays.  Normally I use Red Stamp to make a card out of it but that simply isn’t feasible this year.  As with most of my stylish attire, the vest, leggings, and boots come from Aunt Sarah.  👗


Santa gifted Adam with an Xbox One.  That stunned expression says it all.  We haven’t seen much of him since.  🎮


Tatum squealed with delight upon receiving her ‘Just Like Me’ doll from American Girl.  The doll, whom quickly named Sophie, shares her dirty blonde hair [complete with bangs!], light blue eyes, and fair skin.  Needless to say they’re attached at the hip.


Happy 2018!  I rang it in with style with a kiss from this handsome fella.  Harley and I made it official two days prior.  Going into the new year with a boyfriend who restored my faith in a wide variety of areas feels like a positive omen.  I could wax poetic on him all night but let’s just say he has a good head on his shoulders, treats me with the utmost respect, and constantly reminds me what I deserve.  💋


Don’t bind yourself to a specific resolution for the new year and beat yourself up when it fails.  If delineating a rigid list speaks to you, by all means, be my guest.  But it’s not for me.  Instead I chose to set intentions.  Call it what you will but I think this mantra for 2018 sums it up quite nicely– and lays the foundation for the rest of my personal growth for the next 12 months.  💯


It’s freezing outside.  Quite literally.  I write this from Memphis so I can only imagine the mountains of snow and subzero temperatures affecting some of  my northern neighbors.  Chances are if you’re reading this you’re safely sheltered from the elements in you’re residence.  You can crank up the heat, take a warm bath, snuggle up underneath your blankets, eat a hot meal…and you’re damn lucky.  Think of the people on the streets forced to brave the elements in these frigid temperatures.  People are dying because of this weather.  Several years ago my friend, L.A., actually froze to death while sleeping outdoors [*R.i.P.*] near a fire.  Nobody should ever be forced to sleep outside at a time like this.  Karen Fratti wrote an informative article about how you can help the homeless.  Those in the Memphis area should familiarize yourself with Room In The Inn, an organization providing emergency shelter and meals during the coldest months of the year.  Knowing that my spiritual home, Neshoba, participates in this lifesaving event fills my heart with joy.  💒


One day at a time.  A phrase frequently used in the recovery community to emphasize the importance of only focusing on the 24 hours in a day.  Yet for me it sometimes feels like one hour at a time.  Like everyone else in the early stages of recovery I have peaks and valleys, conflicting attitudes, uncertain beliefs, and emotions that range the gamut.  Of course I’m choosing a clean and sober lifestyle for me.  I want it for myself.  I also want to share this gift with the people who love me.  I want them to be proud of me.  I want to be a success story.  And, um, in the spirit of full disclosure [since honesty comprises a crucial part of this process]…I want to prove people wrong.  What I really need to do know is buckle down and work my program.  💪🏼

Dad and I love to cook together and thoroughly enjoy trying new recipes.  The concept of meal delivery kits intrigued us from the moment we first learned of their existence.  Luckily they all offer a discount for your first box– each box contains three meals– so we will certainly be taking advantage of that.  We hope to bring you pictures of the entire process and reviews:  cost, options for dietary restrictions [remember I am a vegetarian], quality of ingredients, time spent, difficulty level, taste, etc.  A few weeks ago we did try Hello Fresh but we didn’t have our ducks in a row at that time so we’ll be trying it again.  Being the bottomless pit that I am I very much look forward to this endeavor!  🥘

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


homeless, harley, christmas, nye

Posted in * R. i. P. *, Adam, Addiction, Aunt Sarah, Dating, Depression, Family, Food, Holidays, Marley Hiller, Memphis, Mental Illness, My Parents, Neshoba, Recovery, Tatum | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nobody let me die

Ignorance permeates the user comments of many online news sources.  I expect bullies and cretins to staunchly advocate their positions, frustrating as it may be to the thinking public.  Controversial topics inevitably cause mudslinging at best and malice at worst.  Yet when did the malicious vitriol of  certain individuals include a blatant disregard for human life?  Addict shaming disgusts me.  If a person suffers from drug dependency are they somehow expendable?  Does their life matter less?  How could anyone see another human being in acute medical distress and respond with ridicule and taunts?  Absolutely sickening.  What if that was your child slumped over barely clinging to life?  It infuriates me when I witness the spewing of venom from ignorant commentators in response to an addict’s overdose.

Speechless.  Nailed it.  Bingo.  Tiffany Jenkins took the words right out of my mouth.  Her blog, Juggling the Jenkins, now sits at the top of my reading queue.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


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99 white chips on the wall

 Thanksgiving Facebook status:  “This is what a clean and sober Sloane looks like.  Today I finished my program at CSU.  I am fully detoxed from alcohol and drugs and can honestly say I have no desire to drink or use.  What a miracle!  In addition, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and have started a medication regiment for that.  I feel fantastic.  Of course it will take lots of work on my end—staying active in recovery, taking my medicine, and staying away from bad influences.  But I am one strong woman and I know I can do this.  Thanks for all the support.  Love to you all.” 


Such a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  Not only am I free from the bondage of chemical dependency but I have a better understanding of the way my brain works.  Being bipolar explains so much….things occurring long before I ever picked up an illicit substance now make sense.  I feel tremendous relief knowing there is an official diagnosis, a legitimate medical condition, because it is a form of validation.  Best of all it can be managed with medication.  Hallelujah!


CSU’s facilities didn’t quite look like this.

“My name is Pax Prentiss and I used to be an addict.  But now I’m not.”  Surely I can’t be the only one who wants to jump through the television and smack him.  You don’t just snap your fingers overnight and become ‘cured.’  Well, maybe at his $50,783,123 treatment center you do.  But the vast majority of us can’t afford to receive daily massages and ride horses on the beach at Promises Malibu.  Which is why I am so grateful for CSU.  I do not have health insurance.  Paying for treatment out of pocket [even at a place far from luxurious] produces astronomical costs.  Did I mention I’m broke?  CSU saves lives– and is often the only hope for the uninsured and destitute.


Just a little recovery humor

Don’t assume I’m floating around on some pink cloud confident in the knowledge that this chapter of my life has ended.  I’m scared shitless– but it’s a healthy fear.  Something would be very wrong if I wasn’t terrified.  Temptation lurks everywhere.  I know what to do.  It’s just a matter of doing it.  And really doing it this time, 110%.  You won’t see me trying to convert you or becoming a Big Book thumper.  All I want is a LIFE:  a fulfilling job; a car; my own place; providing for my children; traveling; paying my own bills….you know, adulting. If I decide I want to pick up a drink I always have that option tomorrow.  But today I won’t.


This is my truth.  I am not ashamed or afraid to share it.  It’s certainly not easy to put it out there in such a public way but it is necessary.  If even one person sees this and feels less alone, reaches out to someone, or seeks help then it was all worth it.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Changes, Depression, Health, Highest Self, Mental Illness, Recovery, Sloane, Stress | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment



With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


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So what’s been happening in the many months since I blogged regularly?  Allow me to present a summary in photos….


One of my dearest friends, Shay, treated me to an unforgettable vacation.  We went to Orange Beach, Alabama, where we stayed in a spectacular hotel [with an equally spectacular breakfast buffet!] that made us reluctant to even leave our room.  Most notable about the trip was the fact that neither one of us consumed alcohol.  What a blessing to be completely sober for this period of relaxation and reflection.  I am eternally grateful that I was able to enjoy myself clear headed.  No blur of a boozy haze or drunken antics for these two.  Considering how expensive it was to eat down there– I can’t even imagine the astronomical figures we’d be looking at if our tab included adult beverages.  Us bobbing around in the ocean waves will forever be my ‘happy place.’


I fell madly, passionately, deeply in love with Reno.  My 14.  We only spent a few months together but they were some of the best of my life.  I half-jokingly referred to him as my Florence Nightingale because he saved me from a ship that was sinking fast.  He treated me like a Queen and told me– more importantly, showed me– that I deserved the best.  Never again will I settle for less.  Thank you for everything, my sweet love.  You taught me how to be a Viking.


My beloved Reno now walks the halls of Valhalla.  Mostly I linger in the ‘denial’ phase.  It just doesn’t seem real.  Or perhaps more accurately I shove it out of my mind as much as possible because it’s too damn painful.  I miss him every second of every day.  We had so many plans…with him went a piece of my heart that will never be replaced.  One day I will write about him, about this tragic loss, but right now I just can’t.  I love you, Reno.  No more pain.


Freya settled comfortably into her Germantown home.  Who would have thought that the tiny, malnourished, flea ridden pup that Reno and I rescued would have turned into such a loving, rambunctious, and spunky young dog?  I exaggerate not when I assert that this is my canine soulmate.  #freyathebrave


A brief stint in Nutbush at the glorious Pike’s Peak town homes introduced me to two women I will never forget.  Lynda, I love everything about you!  And my sweet Sherry, rest in peace.  You were truly an angel on this earth.  Even though I only knew you for a brief time you impacted my life tremendously.  There wasn’t a mean bone in your body and your sweet spirit and kind heart will live on in all who knew you.  Thank you for opening your home to me, being my friend, and encouraging me to follow my dreams.  It is comforting to look down and see the necklace you gave me.


The kids were remarkably good sports despite getting rained out of fireworks on the Fourth.  I also turned 32.  That was our July in a nutshell.


Come August, Hubble returned from a multiyear stint at summer camp.  To say I am proud of him is the understatement of the century.  He is working, clean & sober, and staying in contact daily with his offspring.  It’s been quite the journey but I can honestly say I love and respect him– and he is not only my co-parent but one of my best friends.  Keep up the outstanding work, Will!  Your family supports you 110%.


Adam‘s first day of third grade at Riverdale Elementary.


Tatum’s first day of kindergarten at Tara Oaks Elementary.


My rock.  I thought I would never find happiness again.  You found me at my weakest and nursed me back to strength.  Allen, you mean the world to me.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your compassion and understanding.  It is no exaggeration when I say you brought me back to life.


My ex, Joey, almost died after getting shot in Nutbush.  We were on horrible terms but all was forgiven after I learned just how close he was to losing his life….it’s been a tumultuous ride.  But I would never wish death on anyone.  I hope with every ounce of my being he recovers and becomes the man I know he is capable of being.


GH Mafia!  When the going gets tough, I turn to the toughest women I know.  I love you all.  Birdie and Brittany, thank you for dining with me.  I look forward to our monthly excursion.


Brittany created a miracle!  Little miss Sophia.  ❤


Holly also created a miracle!  Little miss Hadley.  ❤


Danielle and Nathan got married after many years [and three beautiful children] together.  Much love to the happy couple.  I cannot wait to visit soon.


Overall…life is good.  I am blessed.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


Posted in * R. i. P. *, Al Jizzy, Birdie, California, Da Real Homiez, Danielle- partner in crime, Dating, Death, Freya, Germantown, GH Mafia, Grief, Holidays, Love, Parenting, Pets, Relationships, Riverdale, School, Tara Oaks, Travels, Viking, Water, Will Reed | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment