Give thanks

10 Nov 2011 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Adam, Books, Employment, Family, Friends, HC, Health, Holidays, Home Sweet Home, Support, The Wee One, Welfare, Will Reed

Made with Adam's handprints and footprints for Thanksgiving <3

Many of my Facebook friends have been sharing their ’30 Days of Thanksgiving’ blessings in their daily statuses.  What an excellent idea…one day simply isn’t enough to focus on all of the things for which we are thankful.  Obviously I’m a little behind with this idea so allow me to present to you my first ten days of gratitude:

1)  My son, Adam Harrison Reed, brings me unparalleled joy.  As you all know, he’s the coolest kid ever, and beyond precious.  I cannot even remember my life without him and wouldn’t trade motherhood for the world.  He is in such a fun, creative, and exciting stage of development right now!  I prefer his company to anyone else’s.

2)  Our new arrival, Tatum Marisann Reed, will complete our little family.  I’m sure any expecting parent can attest to this fact, but I love her so much and I haven’t even met her.  She’s kicking up a storm as I write this and I know these next fifteen weeks will fly by at lightening speed.  During my initial pregnancy with Adam [before I knew his sex] I wanted a baby girl but I became so obsessed with my little dude– and even still I am so thrilled that I had my son first– yet the timing is just perfect for my daughter.

3)  I cannot give enough thanks for the support we’ll receive with our apartment!  This doesn’t even need an explanation, heh.  Being ‘homeless’ [especially when you are pregnant and have a small child] is one of the absolute worst situations and this entire ordeal has made me a lot more cognizant of the struggles others face in their own lives.  So many people associate homelessness with hobos sifting through garbage, sleeping on the concrete, and panhandling when in reality it can be any transitional living situation between one address and the next.  An unexpected crisis does not discriminate.

4)  Adding on to the previous blessing, I am eternally grateful for all of the support that is available in San Luis Obispo County.  If not for all the resources at my disposal….I shudder just thinking about it.  All of the empowerment reaffirms my desire to be involved with this community and give back to organizations that have helped me.

5)  I am thankful for my job.  Getting paid to do work you enjoy with people you love = WIN.  Of course in this economy anyone with gainful employment has reason to give thanks but how many folks can honestly say they enjoy how they make a living?  I’m so lucky to be one of them.

6)  Everyone probably thinks they have the greatest friends ever– I know I do.  Seeing the countless individuals [some of whom I barely knew] who have reached out to me lately– whether it’s sending me a care package, offering to babysit, lending me their ears, or just messaging me to let me know I was in their thoughts and prayers– y’all are amazing.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Brandi is one of my newest friends....and I am ever so thankful she's in my world.

7)  Despite the waiting rooms and medical bills, can you even imagine what our lives would be like without all the doctors, nurses, and other medical staff working tirelessly to keep us healthy?  Katie Porter mentioned this earlier and I must agree:  healthcare professionals make the world go ’round.  And I’m also so glad that my son rarely has to see people in this field except for yearly wellness checkups.

8)  Without reading material I would be so lost.  Whether it’s books, magazines, blogs, or anything else– I devour it.  Imagine my delight when a kind man came into work today– and told me that he’d heard from our pastor that I like to read– and offered to bring me bunches of magazines!  Yes please.  Speaking of books, I am think I may be overdue at the library.  Thanks to the library as well for giving me a card even though I did not have California identification.  Maybe I’ll add that to my list of places to volunteer at as well.

9)  My family as a whole, especially my parents, do so much for me and I appreciate it more than I can ever express.  No matter how old a girl gets, she always needs her mama.  ;)

10)  And last but not least, I’m thankful for Will Reed.  Perhaps that strikes you as strange but I learned so much from my marriage with him– and more importantly– he helped me create the two best children to ever walk the face of this planet.  I would be remiss to not mention the father of my kids and pray daily that he takes positive steps towards achieving a fulfilling life.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

I would like some cheese with my whine

18 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Anger, Being broke, Caylee Anthony, Family, Frustration, Illness, Injustice, Sorry White Trash, Welfare, Will Reed

Sickness permeates the atmosphere of the Wilke-Reed casa.  Adam has strep throat, Will has been vomiting profusely, my mom is on the tail end of a bug that made her dizzy and weak and I feel like I have all of the above.  Blah.  The three of us have been lying around all day trying to relax and stay hydrated.  I’ve also tried valiantly to avoid the news because there is not enough Promethazine in the world to eradicate the nausea– and anger, frustration, and disgust– knowing that this callous child killer walks free.

Being stressed to the max certainly isn’t helping anything.  I try my best to avoid it but when it surrounds me from all directions from every person I encounter it’s inevitable.  Will got hit with a double whammy yesterday:  some loans he’d expected fell through and certain members of their family put their sorry white trash on full display.

Excellent product placement

If you’re loaning/giving me $100, a new car, my own private island– whatever– I’m not going to rely on anything until it’s in my hands.  This has absolutely nothing to do with the credibility of the individual, it’s just me being cautious and pragmatic.  Discussing money irritates me to no end so I’m just going to stop this conversation right here.  Luckily we requested money to get ahead– not get out of debt– so it’s not the end of the world that things fell through.  Being broke has only strengthened our union.  The couple that eats Ramen noodles together stays together!  Actually, our diet’s a little better than that because we have food stamps, so we can be poor and still have fresh produce.  Win.

As for his family….wow.  Just wow.  I adore Will’s sisters, Holly and Angela, and his Grandma Elder.  And I miss his Grandpa Elder every day.  Those are the only kinfolk of his I’ve actually met but even the ones I only ‘know’ through Facebook seem like great people and you can tell they genuinely care for Will and our little family.  However, Grandma Dorris and Uncle Jimmy can– to steal a beautiful quote from Miss Britney Jean Spears– “kiss my lily white southern Louisiana ass.” Substitute ‘Tennessee’ for ‘Louisiana’ and there you have it.  Part of me wants to chastise these lowlife scumbags for what they’ve done and how they talked to my husband publicly on this blog…..but they aren’t worth anymore of my time and energy.  Suffice it to say they’ll have a lot of explaining to do when they meet their maker.

Auto correct always puts a smile on my face

All this complaining isn’t good for my health and does nothing to solve my problems.  So I’d like to take a moment to congratulate Will on his awesome new mechanic job that will allow us to live comfortably.  We also decided on our apartments so now it’s only a matter of weeks before we are able to move.  More on both of those later.

Between feeling like total dog poo and getting riled up about the aforementioned topics….don’t even get me started on June’s welfare rant.  The only thing worse in life than talking to computer techs over the phone is dealing with anyone from the ’public assistance’ section of the government.  I completely agree with her thoughts and would like to write a companion piece when I get to feeling better.  Goodnight all.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Guest blogger: June [welfare rant]

16 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Controversy, Friends, Guest Bloggers, Politics, Welfare

I am proud to introduce June C. Straight Crosby as my first guest blogger! Read on for June’s rant about our welfare system and be sure to check out her blog, Christian in Progress. Guest bloggers are always welcome on Cocktails With Hemingway so please email [sloanewreed@gmail.com] if you are interested.

June

 “The health department is never a fun place to be. No matter who wealthy the municipality, how comfortable the seating, how organized the staff, any health department on any day is a bad place to be, at least for me.

See, the thing about the health department is, if you’re there it’s either because you need something checked out on the low or you can’t afford the care or services you need. And like you, everyone else in that waiting room is in the same predicament. It’s a bad scene.

So why am I ranting about health departments? Well, I’m just trying to set the scene. My rant for the day is on the quickly spreading and ridiculous notion that welfare recipients should be drug tested.

Several states are pushing bills to push the poor through more hoops to get the little help they can to survive. I know, I know … health departments.

As I ran across a story today reporting that Missouri — my current location — was considering a similar bill, I got mad as hell a little upset.

More than a few of my peers agree with this stipulation, so I’ve heard the argument before. “If they’re taking hard-earned tax-payer dollars, they shouldn’t have a problem proving they’re not just using the money for drugs.”

Since most of my views on politics are completely irrational and emotional, I usually try to avoid talking politics with my professional peers and colleagues. But today, coming across that story, I kind of felt the need to speak up.

I mean, it wasn’t that long ago, that I was “taking” hard-earned tax-payer dollars. I was 21 when I had my daughter, in college and making a whopping $8,000 a year. I got a job straight out of college making a slightly better $24K, but after taxes, I was bringing home about $18K a year. My husband (then baby’s daddy) was getting his start as a professional tattoo artist and neither of us were in a position to pay for health insurance, or anything really outside of the rent, car note, and utilities.

So, being the responsible mother I am, I signed my daughter up for medicaid and WIC, because milk, cereal and juice become luxuries when you’re broke and on your own.

I remember spending hours at the health department, every three months just to get WIC vouchers and shots for my baby. Hours I had to take off from my job that already didn’t pay enough. Hours I had to sit in a room full of other mothers with their sick, whiny and fidgety children to get what I needed to keep my child healthy.

It wasn’t a fun situation. Most days, the place would be so full I’d spend at least an hour on my feet. Then after the three hour wait, I’d get a 5 minute visit with a case worker, another hour wait and a 10 minute talk with a doctor or nutritionist.

I’m not complaining. I’d have done anything to keep my baby fed. But I can’t imagine on top of all that, being asked to piss in a cup to prove that I’m not too much of a lowlife to get vouchers to feed my baby.

I don’t know much about welfare, by the time my daughter was 3, I was making too much money to qualify for WIC or Medicaid. And even with the little I was making before, I never qualified for anything more.

But I do know that the people I am acquainted with who receive public assistance are not ballin’ out of control.

They’re not buying dope and pinky rings with their Section 8 vouchers and EBT cards.

Frankly, I don’t understand what the correlation be drug use and public assistance is, but I don’t like the insinuation of this bill — that hiding in the welfare system are a bunch of lazy junkies.

On the flip side, it’s going to be interested watching this “attack the poor” strategy backfire. The economy’s downward spiral has changed the face of the stereotypical welfare recipient. I’m not just talking about race here, but also socioeconomics. In case the tea-party politicians haven’t noticed, it’s getting hard for the middle class to feed their babies too. A lot of them are losing jobs, facing foreclosure, and already using food pantries and thrift stores. I wonder how some of these “respectable” constituents are going to feel when after years of giving away their hard-earned tax dollars, they find themselves pissing in a cup for groceries.”