Let’s recap my schedule this week: first date earlier tonight with B, third date with D on Thursday, and fourth date with C on Friday, and first date with M on Saturday. Even typing that sentence exhausts me. I cannot wait for this week to be over so I can resume my regular schedule. Allow me to reiterate the fact that there is nothing typical about four outings in a week, much less on three consecutive days. Huge thanks to my parents, without whom this would not be possible, and also to Adam, for being so understanding and supportive of ‘Mommy’s New Friend Adventure.’ One month into my foray into online dating I realize that this is the first time I’ve ever acted with my blog in mind– and by that I mean overbooking beyond my personal preference. However, this gives me the opportunity to spend time with most of the male suitors during one condensed period, something I think will help me in the long run. It’s easy enough to have a good time on an isolated date….so this gives me the chance to compare my connections with various people and explore the potential for future romantic endeavors.
My coworkers jokingly refer to my dating life as ‘The Arena.’ It is both a style of shoe in our and a Hunger Games reference. Not that there’s going to be a vicious battle to the death amongst male suitors, but there has been much teasing about my sudden increase in popularity. There’s even talk of making a flow chart. You cannot help but poke fun when you know how….not me….all of this is.
After a week like this I need more times like these.
K wanted me to do something special with my son to celebrate his recent kindergarten status. Because he does not call Memphis his home base, he sent me some money to be used for Adam. I had mixed feelings about this. Don’t get me wrong– I was extremely appreciative– but taking cash from somebody I’ve never met felt weird. Mar and I giggled about feeling like an escort [albeit a non-sexual one] collecting a deposit. Overall, odd factor aside, I’m grateful and plan to devote a post to my upcoming adventure with Adam. Thank you, K.
Saturday I’ll be going on my first date with M. I’m very much looking forward to it. Of everyone I’ve gone out with he’s the only one who cultivated a dialogue with me via email before phone contact. We’ve shared photos, music, and stories. I believe I have a sense of who he is and I think he feels the same way. It’s nice to meet a friend in person, especially when you already ‘know’ them.
Here’s another first– a wedding invitation! C asked if I wanted to accompany him to his mother’s big day next month. I said yes….and plan to wear a skimpy outfit, guzzle mixed drinks, and flirt shamelessly with the groom. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do at weddings? In all seriousness, I’m flattered that he would ask me. Your parent’s wedding is a huge deal and your date must reflect the significance of the occasion. Knowing that he trusts me enough for my inclusion in something as personal and important as his mother’s marriage ceremony is an honor. I love watching other people get married. Better them than me.
Ghost hunting sans flash
B and I started our night with a beer at Mulligan’s. I introduced him to Red Stripe, one of my favorites. We then drove to Overton Park on a ghost hunting excursion. The supposedly haunted lake showed no signs of paranormal activity [not that you can just snap your fingers and make ghosts appear on command] so I decided to take him to ‘my’ cemetery and explain the history behind it.
[[ Sidenote: Whenever I visit a graveyard I show proper reverence. I adhere to protocol demonstrative of the respect I have for my surroundings (mindful of my footsteps, quiet voices, no food or drink, etc.) and wish to be a presence of peace. I am genuinely curious about the individuals beneath the headstones and want their earthly resting place to be free of disturbances. It is disrespectful to the deceased to seek a 'scary' thrill on their sacred ground. I would never wish to be an unwelcome intruder. ]]
Without divulging too much into his personal business, I will say that he is susceptible to the presence of auras and energies. Whether or not you believe in that sort of thing– or his abilities– I’ve always found those topics to be fascinating. According to his assessment I’ve got an abundance of interesting stuff swirling around me and I have a blueish green aura. The Sage says “Turquoise is a soft blue with just a touch of green….people with this color present in their auras are often survivors of traumatic and difficult experiences. However, they have also learned to put their past sufferings in proportion and have moved on with their lives, learning lessons and often interested in counseling others to heal as well.“ The second sentence is a work in progress. But if the first sentence is true then apparently I am a giant turquoise blob that can be seen from outer space.
In my mind this is what my aura looks like.
It’s a good thing B and I bonded over our love of the supernatural because we won’t be going any further than platonic paranormal partners. B wants a relationship right now and I don’t. 10/12/13 is non-negotiable. He expressed that he had feelings for me and thought we would do well together– but he made it clear that he wasn’t going to wait. I wouldn’t expect him or anyone else to. Even if I fall head over heels for Mr. Right he’s still got two months to go. I’m thrilled to count B among my friends, hope he finds the lady of his dreams, and look forward to all of our ghostly adventures in the future.
As a serial monogamist who jumps from relationship to relationship [oftentimes with disastrous results] I never give myself sufficient time between breakups. I’m not one of those people who has to be with somebody in order to be happy or validate my self worth, not in the least. Having a boyfriend can be nice. But I’ve been going about it the wrong ways. Rekindling the flame with an ex is never a good idea. Nor is dating one of his friends. Jumping into something without slowing down to think isn’t a good idea either. Neither is getting involved because of the wrong reasons. So now I’m doing this on my terms.
Even though I enjoy having a significant other I also find it a considerable source of stress, which leads me to believe I haven’t been in the right relationships. I am constantly chastised by boyfriends for being ‘too independent,’ ‘distant,’ ‘too busy,’ or ‘not affectionate enough.’ Best is when I hear some variation of “I’m dating you, not your blog” or “Can you put down your book and pay attention to me?“ When I’m single I can focus all my spare time on me and I don’t have to compromise. Is it horribly selfish to think I should still be able to do that when I’m in a relationship? This is why establishing a friendship first is so imperative to me– so people can understand firsthand not only my chaotic schedule but the way I am. If you don’t like the fact that I’m reading, pick up a book of your own. If you feel like you are competing with my blog, get a hobby. Surely I can’t be the only one who feels this way.
Three months seemed like sufficient time to get to know people as friends before I determine if I’m ready for a relationship and/or if I’ve found the right person who makes me want to be their girlfriend. Going on dates has been wonderful for me, such a learning experience. It’s nice to be wooed by a man who picks up the check. I spent years of my life paying for the guys with whom I was involved and I’m over it. Of course I believe expenses within a relationship should be shared equally– but this is only the courting phase– so I have no qualms letting men treat me. This has also been a valuable exercise to not rush into anything and follow through with my commitments. Thank you to the male suitors who understand and respect my position without pushing me to alter it.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,