Hear Ye, Hear Ye

“The last time I lived in Tennessee I was pregnant with my daughter and co-parenting our 3 year old son with my husband. Now that I’m back in this neck of the woods I’m a single mother with two kids and considerably less resources. I’m so exhausted.
…AND I WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD.
[[So please forgive the delayed-- or unanswered-- correspondence, questionable spelling/sloppy grammar, lack of blog entries, and whatever else as I revel in the domestic life with my children.]]” ~ Sloane’s Facebook status

sleeep

FAMILY.  Our adjustment.  Updates.  Neshoba.  My job search.  Friends.  The guy.  Buh-bye, California.  Pictures.  What I’ve Learned.

Would you believe me if I said it was coming soon?

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

MBC18

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 18: Where are you happiest?

Does anyone else feel like these questions [or at least my answers to them] are getting redundant?

A foolproof way to ensure my happiness? Take me to the beach. Be it Pacific, Atlantic, or Gulf of Mexico…as long as I can gaze at an ocean while hearing the waves crash against the shore.

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My godkids love the beach as well. The twins [and their parents] spent spring break in Florida. I adore this picture of them.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

International response

What do people in Algeria, Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Great Britain, Iceland, India, Mexico, Monaco, Netherlands, Nigeria, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Russia, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Tunisia, United Arab Emirates, and the United States [the vast majority of the continental states + Alaska & Hawaii + Puerto Rico (even Guam)]have in common?
They’re all recent readers of this blog!
[[ Well maybe not all of them. Let me fantasize about my global following. A girl can dream, right? ]]

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Just one page of viewers on the map

Thank you for reading. Special thanks to all those return viewers. I hope you find something you enjoy on here. Now go and tell all of your friends– domestic and international– to visit Coctails With Hemingway.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

MBC14

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 14: What’s on your iPod?

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I nominate this tree [en route to G's treasure trove] to be my primary source of funding.

If I had a money tree with unlimited harvest potential– among countless other things– I could shop the Apple Store with reckless abandon. But alas I do not. A $3 investment gave me three songs on my iPhone from this fine fellow.

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Hey Mickey!

Tatum’s adventures

Tatum seems to be recovering nicely from her birthday extravaganza.

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Her great-Grandma Elder [paternal grandfather's mom] gave Adam this stuffed doggy. It was one of his favorites so I know he’d be all too happy to pass it on to his little sister

Busted! Maris caught Tater outside the Barbie dream house looking guilty. A look of guilt is better than a look of judgment, right Mar?

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And she still has teeth. Definitely in the awkward/hysterical hall of fame for her pictures thus far. ;)

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With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

MBC2

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 2: Favorite Quotes

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“The Edge…there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson

“I live life like the captain of a sinking ship.”
~ Atmosphere

“There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory.” -Mark Twain

“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.”
~ Dead Poets Society

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Facebook sure has come in handy with the blog challenge. Taken from the favorite quotes section on my profile:

“You are neurotic and depressed it doesn’t mean that you are sad.”
~ Everclear

“There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
~ Oscar Levant

“They say you only live once; but if you live like I do, once is enough!!”
~ Frank Sinatra

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“Happiness amongst intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
~ Ernest Hemingway

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“Janie, today I quit my job. and then I told my boss to go eff himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.” ~ Lester Burnham (American Beauty)

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

“Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
and I eat men like air.”
- Sylvia Plath

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:: Les femmes qui lisent sont dangereuses. ::

R. i. P.
* Adam Sontag *
4/25/84 – 7/7/03
Thank you for showing me true love. <3
"The dead govern the living" – Auguste Comte

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With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Fair and balanced

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I refuse to let ‘California’ define our family. Rising above this unfair and inaccurate portrayal is central to the recovery mission. Does it consume me? Absolutely. Are my children feeling the effects if it? You betcha. Is it a safe assumption to say I’m enraged? Don’t even get me started.

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Cambria, CA • March 2012

To make Cocktails With Hemingway a permanent, highly visible documentation of our family’s Dark Ages is not only counterproductive to my mission– but a disservice to my kids, myself, and the numerous supporters we have during this trying time. By the same token it is my blog; thus, it is an extension of who I am and my need to express myself through writing. Authenticity is imperative. Yet maintaining a sense of balances proves equally important.

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Look at me surrounded by bluebirds! [Atascadero • February 2013]

Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact I laugh often and never fail to see the humor in any situation. I count my blessings daily and try to stay positive. Miraculously, I still believe in the inherent good of people.
Learning occupies most of my time here, particularly language and geology. I know enough Spanish to have basic conversations and ask questions. Fulfilling a lifelong dream, I have commenced my study of Russian and the Cyrillic alphabet. Not only is my rock collection impressive, I’m about to launch my foray into rock tumbling– and even make my own tumbler! Hours of research and meticulous preparation earned me a PhD in geology. Never mind the fact that my ‘university’ involves a Google/iPhone app curriculum hybrid. ;)

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A sampling of my geological finds

CWS does not dominate my conversations. Despite the severity of my depression, that smile you see on my face isn’t fake. I’m not sulking about as I quote Nietzsche or channeling my rage into a radical plot to overthrow the government. The very fact that I’ve managed to make productive use of my time [while retaining my sanity nonetheless] serves as a testament to the power of love, family, courage, strength, and resiliency.

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I sure as hell haven’t lost my fire. Pain may have snuffed out the flame– temporarily– but there are countless ways to ignite the spark.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Awful day

“Tempt not a desperate man.” ~ William Shakespeare

All entries from today were planned and [mostly]completed yesterday. Posting such lighthearted material marks a tremendous contrast to my emotionally draining afternoon occurring on one of the worst days I’ve ever had. These three sentences you are reading replace the original three pages meant for this space…three pages of the rawest, revealing, and most personal words I’ve ever composed. The floodgates were unleashed for all to see. Just not tonight.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Six days into 2013

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Let us reflect upon my recent history of New Year’s Eve celebrations:

Farewell, 2008 =Adam’s first Auld Lang Syne! Becoming his Mommy made ’08 the absolute best year of my life. The thought of leaving the house didn’t even cross my mind…so I put a pot of chili on the stove and several of my friends made appearances. Relaxed and comfortable; belly full; socializing on my terms with the people of my choosing; family within arms reach; no plans whatsoever; laughter; happy children– the perfect NYE.

Bon voyage, 2009 = Accompanied by two friends, Adam and I took a road trip and went south. Our trip to Hahira, GA was incredible. It also proved that my almost two year old is a top notch traveler who loves new faces and the adventures that accompany them. Bonfires and swamps, a spaghetti eatin’ sheriff, getting my tattoo for Sean Krause in Valdosta, and a group of folks I’ll never forget. Just like the shirt says: “What happens in Hahira stays in Hahira.” ;)

Au revoir, 2010 =My fabulous gay friend invited me [and my very heterosexual date] to a soirée at the Memphis Botanic Gardens. Leaving Adam in the care of Bapa & Gigi [a pretty easy gig considering he was sound asleep for the duration of the evening] I sashayed out the door with Mr. Hetero to our invite-only bash. The champagne flowed freely, the decor was fabulous and the menfolk actually danced. Gay men, at least most of the ones I know, can throw one hell of a party.

Adios, 2011 =With my left hand on my third trimester belly and my right holding a wine glass filled with sparkling cider, I sat alone in my apartment in Paso Robles. My gaze alternated between my Christmas tree– fully decorated and still standing– and Times Square on my television. Spending your first holiday season in an unfamiliar new city can be very isolating. Being pregnant during the Christmas cheer guarantees unpredictable hormones and a plethora of negative thoughts. Experiencing the anguish of a completely silent house with wrapped presents that have never been seen, much less touched, because your only child was removed from your custody due to the court’s allegation of being an ‘unfit’ mother– and has now spent two holidays away from you as the year changes. Now imagine all of those simultaneously. Never in all my years of living have I felt so alone. I am thankful my mind allowed me to block the vast majority of this devastating, childless NYE.

Good riddance, 2012 = Radiant sunshine burst through the ominous clouds with the birth of a happy, healthy Tatum. My miracle pregnancy sustained me throughout the darkest days of my existence with her gentle glow. If not for the light at the end of the tunnel– the reassuring beacon of hope and it’s promise of better days to come– there is no doubt I would have been helplessly lost [at best] if not completely crippled [at worst] by the debilitating darkness…
Relief flooded me as I held my daughter for the first time– she was safe. How could I wish to permanently strike this year from the record when I was fortunate enough to receive one of the two greatest blessings of my entire existence? For NYE I returned to Atascadero humbled, opting to focus that the end finally seems to be in site. D and I were up in our humble abode on the mountain when the clock struck midnight. I’m ready for this.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Thank you, Shaman Stick

I’ve survived my first hour of the apocalypse!  Didn’t I tell you my Shaman Stick was good for something?

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With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

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