Ants

It’s truly the beginning of summer in the south when the ants go marching in– as in throughout your home.  Few are spared.  Cleanliness and tidiness prove irrelevant.  Once a colony sets up shop they call several hundred of their best friends only to multiply like….ants?

Fear not:  I guarantee my potion will exterminate all 439, 567, 034, 592, 103 of those pesky ants. 

ant1 cup sugar

3 cups warm water

3 tablespoons borax [I used 20 Mule Team]

Mix sugar and borax.  Slowly stir in warm water.  Voila, there’s your potion.

The quantity of this recipe gives you more than enough to take back your home and share some with a friend, so seal it in an airtight jar.  Pour solution into tops of plastic milk jugs or two liter soda bottles and place throughout infected areas.  KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN AND PETS.  Ingesting this can be fatal to any human or animal involved.  Let the ants sip on the sugary delight and take it back to the colony.  They’ll disperse it and– BAM!– colony eliminated.  You’re welcome.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

MBC11

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 11: Last book you read

For those of you unfamiliar with Damien Echols and the ‘West Memphis Three’ here is some background.

Let it be known that I have researched this case extensively. It takes more than a celebrity endorsement or a buzzworthy film for me jump on the bandwagon. I’ve done my homework.

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West Memphis, AR is ‘right across the bridge’ from downtown Memphis. At the time of the tragic deaths, I was the same age as those three little boys, only six years old. The killer[s] of Stevie Branch, Christopher Byers, and Michael Moore literally got away with murder.

This case is one that’s been on my radar for years. Not only do I have an inherent understanding of life in the Bible Belt of the deep south, but I know all too well what it’s like to be on the fringe in high school under these conditions. Deviation from the mainstream is often viewed with ignorance, scorn, fear, or all of the above. A wardrobe filled with black and a taste for hardcore music solicit stares. The whispers begin. Interest in counterculture and alternative spiritualities really gets people talking. Society eyes the stereotypical ostracized teenager [outcast, freak, weird, scary, etc.] with suspicion, which quickly escalates into a mob mentality when a scapegoat is needed. Guilty until proven innocent. Toss a bunch of ideas around and see if anything sticks. No matter how absurd the claim, once the seed is planted, the damage is done. Some people get railroaded without ever knowing what hit them. Rights get violated. Not everyone is equal in the eyes of the law. Preposterous allegations become fact while irrefutable evidence to the contrary never sees the light of day.

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Don’t even get me started on the colossal failure of the judicial system….

I leave you with a handful of quotes from within the pages and two critical reviews that resonated with me.

“Everyone puts on their Sunday best and pays tribute to religion’s slaughterhouse and then dines on a cannibal communion. Education is foreign to the sunburned beasts of burden, and the painkiller comes in black-labeled Tennessee bottles. No one here moves quickly, but everyone moves with absolute certainty.”

“I’ve seen men who were haunted to the point of madness by things that never were and things that should have been….The ghosts in fire freeze and the ghosts in ice burn. Some died long ago; some were never born. Some ride the blood in my veins until it reaches my brain. Sometimes I even mistake myself for one. Sometimes I am one.”

“I want a life of strife, lust, striving, seeking, struggling, and debauchery.”

“Any friendship that is worth it’s weight is like a dark and secret place where you hide bits of yourself. The door can be opened only by the two people who have the key, and you carry it with you wherever you go. Magnify that by a billion, and you begin to get an idea of what marriage is like.”

~

“Damien Echols spent eighteen years on death row for murders he did not commit. Somehow, in the depths of his unspeakable nightmare, he found the courage and strength not only to survive, but to grow, to create, to forgive, and to understand. Life After Death is a brilliant, haunting, painful, and uplifting narrative of a hopeless childhood, a wrongful conviction, a brutal incarceration, and the beginning of a new life.” – John Grisham

“The life of Damien Echols is a journey similar to that of the metal that becomes a samurai’s sword. Heated and pounded until it becomes hardened, it can hold its edge for centuries. It is incredible that Damien endured and survived one of the most tragic miscarriages of American justice, and emerged such a centered, articulate and extraordinary man and writer. Life After Death proves that he paid dearly for his wisdom. – Henry Rollins

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Hear ye, hear ye

Blogging serves as my outlet for self-expression. It’s cathartic, enabling me to vent, while also fulfilling my creative need. It’s something I truly enjoy doing regardless of how many people are paying attention. Even if I’m not discussing anything deep– especially if I’m not discussing anything deep– I rely on this blog to occupy my time in a productive manner. More often than not it’s a distraction, which I need. But I absolutely will not allow it to become a stressor. So if that means skipping a few days [or weeks], announcing things on my terms, omitting some things, beating a dead horse into the ground with other things, rambling nonsensically or being rendered speechless, controlling who can read certain entries, or anything else I can do as the Queen/Dictator/Divine Ruler/President of Cocktails With Hemingway….that’s my prerogative.

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Malnourished, underweight, exhausted, stressed to the max, depressed, broken, feeling awkward because of the camera, and halfheartedly attempting a smile…this is me. Taken this morning at Marisha’s it is the most current picture I have.

So I’m going to jump into the March Blog Challenge on the current day instead of panicking that I’ll never catch up starting from the beginning. No deadlines bind me to optional, self-imposed projects that aren’t important. I’ll do it when I do it and if it doesn’t get done oh well. The same goes for my photo edits. Of course I respect your time– just look at what a stickler I am for punctuality. Being prompt and efficient is extremely important to me. However, I am doing you a favor, so please don’t pester me. Why should I work myself into a frenzy because I need a few more day? Do remember that I’m taking time I really don’t have to do something special for you. For free. We don’t have a contract and I’m not getting paid for my efforts. With that being said….if you want some of my creations [and are patient and respectful] don’t hesitate to ask. Like blogging, my foray into ‘visual arts’ is quite enjoyable. Just don’t send more than 5 photos at a time.

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I made this for my parents. While Mom pursued graduate studies in Nashville, Dad manned artillery in Vietnam. These pictures come from the summer of ’69.

Now I’ll switch to some lighter fare.

People never cease to amaze me with their…puzzling…behaviors. Whether it’s a blatant disregard for the law or your own life, these two made me laugh out loud. The next logical step is their cohabitation. Not paying rent frees up considerably money for his ‘extracurricular activities’ thus ensuring he’s never sleeping and hypervigilant [not to mention aggressive, paranoid, erratic]. Who better to provide on site security for this foreign national and her authority complex? She’ll be warned before those pesky cops arrive with plenty of time to flee the scene. They’ll be luxe squatting all over the world.

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One of my dear friends, a police officer, had an interesting night on the job.

There is nothing funny about congestive heart failure. There is nothing funny about drug addiction. It’s actually quite sad and disturbing. Paging Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, anyone?

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‘Abka Re Bey’ a.k.a. Tabitha Gentry
Sovereign Citizen & Moorish National

Do you see any trace of remorse on this face? Of course not. Homegirl knows she got free rent and lots of attention. I would advise her to enjoy those 15 minutes now because I hear time passes slowly in prison….but she’ll never be incarcerated for any significant amount of time. She doesn’t acknowledge legal authority so jail won’t acknowledge her. That’s how it works, right? I’m a sovereign citizen of my own little planet. You cannot image how relieved I am to know that upon my return to Memphis I won’t have to worry about saving for a house. The first unoccupied home for sale that I stumble upon is mine for the taking and I won’t have to spend a dime!

[[SIDENOTE: Quite a few years of my youth were spent in this gorgeous home. One of my best friends and her family lived there. Abka Re Bey could not have picked a more stunning estate. Although I’m sure it looked much better with furniture, especially considering the flawless decor I observed during my time on 600 Shady Grove.

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Jamie Jeanette Craft

I’ve never been arrested. But by God, if the law must take me…..let them take me pantless and ‘fleeing the scene’ in a battery operated Power Wheels truck.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Megapalooza and THE Sunburst Queen!

The birthday girl

Happy birthday to my favorite roomie, Megan.  She’s having a blast at Mardi Gras right now [not even five minutes ago did this shot appear on my news feed] so here’s to her celebration.  Have fun and be safe.  Laissez les bons temps rouler!  ;)

Bow down to royalty

Meanwhile, in other Southern news….Miss Skylar won the SUNBURST QUEEN title today in Memphis!  It was her very first pageant and she took home the title.  Mommy Ashley is thrilled and The Queen looks pretty excited too.  Although pageants are not my cup of tea, I wish this dynamic duo the best of luck in state finals.

 

2 days until Tatum’s arrival.  <3

 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Homesick, Malawi, city of forrest

Direct your eyes to the left of this page and you’ll notice a white box titled ‘Live Traffic Feed.’  The mysterious ways of the internet are largely lost on me….yet I do know this primitive tracking device is somewhat unreliable.  For example, I can think of three people in specific locations [not a large metropolitan area such as 'Memphis' that could easily be anyone] that visit my blog daily and I’ve never once seen those places appear.  The Feedjit, as it’s called, didn’t cost me a penny.  Perhaps I could have more advanced features and a record of every visit if I was willing to pay– but I’m not– so I guess we’ll never know.

Before one of the many adventures at Campus View

Hello to the frequent visitor in Malawi!  Hopefully you’re not preparing to inform me that the Glorious Prince Reverend Abacha urgently needs my one thousand dollar donation [which will later be returned to me as a million dollars] to the Continental African Bank], but I welcome you anyway.  Send me an email and introduce yourself.  Please encourage all your Malawian friends to read Cocktails With Hemingway because I have a feeling my little family is going to want to go somewhere totally off the grid when this debacle ends.

A daily visitor comes from Forrest City, Arkansas here in the good ol’ U S of A.  Although one of my closest friends from many years ago was born and raised there, I don’t know a soul in those parts at the present time.  My advice to the Forrest City fan would be get to Little Rock as soon as possible because the city of forest is dreadfully boring.  Or maybe it’s changed.  It’s almost a decade since I last visited and think of all that can happen in the span of ten years….

But I digress.  Seeing Forrest City pop up on my Feedjit got me incredibly homesick.  Remembering fun times with Jason, the friend in question, sent my mind thinking about the countless acquaintances I’ve encountered and how seamlessly I can transition between groups.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I must know 319432035959435943503543 people.  Not all of them are folks I consider friends and I’m sure a fair amount of them dislike me– but like I always say– you love me, you hate me, but you’ll never forget me.  ;)

I’ll devote an entire post [probably the first of many] to being homesick at a later date.  As is the case with most individuals, I’m sure, I’m mainly longing for people as opposed to places.  Memphis will always be….Memphis….but I miss my friends.  And I’m so grateful that not all of my nearest and dearest are in Memphis.  We’ve scattered and dispersed and now we’re everywhere!  It’s strangely reassuring to think that I could go to virtually every state in this country [and even some international destinations] and see a familiar face that would welcome us with open arms.  I

To Shar:  thank you for your message.  I did post it, however, I can’t find it on my new format.  For somebody who blogs so incessantly I really do know very little about the Word Press program.  We’ll catch up soon.  Can you believe it was only two years ago we were in Georgia?! 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

“You are so dumb!”

Where I hail from– the dirty dirty! [a.k.a. The South]– our nightly local news is notorious for showcasing some of the more interesting citizens for sound bites.  Antoine Dodson, from my neighboring state of Alabama, takes the cake.  This would be hysterical in and of itself even if it was made to be silly.  Yet this is an actual excerpt from the nightly news in Huntsville.  Much to my dismay not everyone below the Mason Dixon line is such a character….but I really miss those larger than life Southern types.

I DARE YOU NOT TO LAUGH AT THIS.  You’ve probably already seen it.  I think I’ve posted it on here too.  But I can be at a funeral and this pops up and you’ll see me horse laughing.  Don’t you just wish you had a “You are so dumb!  You are really dumb!” button in his voice that you could push?

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane