MBC13

13 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Adam, Admiration, Alan Gompers, Ambition, California, Caylee Anthony, Changes, College, Dr. Krause, Firsts, Fox News, Guilt, Highest Self, Inspiration, Meditation, Megan Childers- favorite roomie, Mentor, News, NYC 2010, Ocean, Opportunity, Poor Decisions, Sibling love, Spirituality, Television, The Wee One, Travels, University of Memphis Tags: , , ,

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 13: Do you have regret?

Here’s an actual answer of mine from a MySpace survey several years ago:. “‘No regrets’ summarizes my philosophy on life. Do I make mistakes? Of course. Are there things I would have done differently? Oh yeah. But life is too short to dwell on what could have been. There’s no use crying over spilled milk. Mop it up and move on. Instead of regret view everything as a learning experience. Objectively analyze the situation. Be prepared to face some harsh truths. What were the consequences? Use this knowledge to prevent you from similar outcomes in the future. It’s much easier said than done– and most of us make the same mistakes multiple times before we actually learn– but I try valiantly to have no regrets.

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My first apartment [with Megan!] was such a fun time.

Two regrets of mine both involve travel.

In 2007 there was an opportunity for English majors at the University of Memphis to spend six weeks in Romania helping local students learn the English language. Cultural immersion, including staying with a host family, going on field trips, and taking classes on language and history, was the dual focus. It was perfect for me– community service, culture, school credit, doing something I loved and could do well, interesting classes, being in an area of the world where I’ve always wanted to travel, and the experience of studying abroad without the commitment of a full semester. Yet I inexplicably watched the deadline come and go without ever submitting my paperwork.

The next winter I declined an offer to fly to New York to visit my dear friend, Sean Krause. He understood my hesitations about traveling with a 9-month-old Adam [and respected the fact that leaving him during his first Christmas season wasn't an option] and we both agreed to take a rain check. Tragically, we never got that chance because he passed away in February.

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Name checked by Greta

So when I got an invitation to fly to NYC and appear on Fox News the following year…I didn’t hesitate. Adam would enjoy a week of being spoiled by his grandparents while I pursued a once in a lifetime opportunity. As I sat in the green room giggling from nerves I thought of Sean, my mentor, and his appearance on Greta Van Susteren’s show. As I wandered aimlessly around the city streets, soaking up my first time in the Big Apple, I knew Sean would be so proud. As I experienced a satsang with Alan Gompers [a personal hero of mine] in Greenwich Village, a transformative experience, I thanked Sean for his help getting me here.”

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The last thing I saw before I walked on stage and met the life studio audience

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“So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It’s always the last day of summer and I’ve been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I’ll grant you I’ve had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there’s almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.” ~ Blow

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Leah Messer did the dirty….

09 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Bullying, Guilty Pleasures, Television

Some of my choices in television are a constant source of ridicule amongst many of my friends.  Surely I get some sort of redemption for having never watched The Bachelor/The Bachelorette or any of the Real Housewives?  I stick to the MTV stuff regarding teen pregnancies and teenage motherhood and shows about delusional mothers living vicariously through their children in pageants and on the dance team from hell.  So it should really come as no surprise then that I carve out an hour every Tuesday night to watch Teen Mom 2.  Don’t hate.  You’re probably trying pass yourself off as cultured and sophisticated by watching Downton Abbey.  I’m just keeping it real over here.

Leah and Corey's marriage begins to unravel

Let’s summarize last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2 with a sentence about each of the ladies:  Jenelle checks herself into rehab for her marijuana dependency and anger issues [Good luck ever getting custody of Jace....one of the worst things you can do as a parent in the eyes of CPS is be proactive about your health]; Chelsea writes her first check and enrolls in GED classes [She deserves to be commended for her steps towards adulthood and setting educational goals to better herself]; Kailyn decides she still has feelings for the father of her child and invites him for a slumber party [Gurl, if the phrase 'aspiring rapper and clothing designer' describes his occupation....don't go there]; and Leah admits to Corey, her husband, that she cheated on him a week before their wedding.

Corey Simms, always a man of many words, doesn’t beat around the bush.  He plops down on the bed next to Leah as she’s texting and cuts right to the chase.  “Did you have sex with Robbie?”  I almost spit out my drink.  Despite the delicacy of the topic– and really it doesn’t warrant much sugarcoating– he could have asked if she’d ‘cheated’ on him and everyone would have gotten the message.  While I always admire those who are blunt and don’t mince words, please don’t ambush me with a sex bomb on national television.  Especially if you’re a teenager.  I felt so uncomfortable.

But Sloane, you may say.  This is a show about teen MOMS.  If they aren’t having sex then however are the babies created?  You’re missing my point entirely.  I don’t care what they do in the bedroom or who they do it with…in fact, I think it was fantastic when Kailyn explored her birth control options a few weeks ago.  It’s downright foolish to gloss over the fact that the ladies are getting horizontal.  Perhaps I’m old-fashioned but I could never admit to such a dastardly deed knowing my entire family was probably watching me and my confession would be forever immortalized on YouTube.  It makes me queasy just thinking about it– and that’s precisely why I refuse to do any sort of reality TV.  I’d much rather be a guest panelist on Fox News, thank you very much.  In light of recent events I think I am long overdue for another television appearance….but I digress.

When I see clips for shows such as Jersey Shore where everyone hops into bed with everyone else [and random strangers], I can’t but wonder how these people feel knowing their parents are watching.  Have they any dignity or self-respect?  Class?  Fear of consequences?  Anything?  Granted, the sex we’re exposed to in Teen Mom 2 is quite innocent by comparison but it still terrifies me to think of my father even hearing about that sort of thing.  Despite being a married woman three years past teenage status for the birth of each of my children, as far as I’m concerned, Steve Wilke thinks Adam and Tatum are the results of the Immaculate Conception parts two and three.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My objective was to be lighthearted and silly in the post but I want to address something serious:  bullying.  Being unfaithful is wrong any way you spin it and what Leah did was a mistake that I’m not condoning.  However, through the various social media outlets, I saw some terrible, hurtful things about this young  woman.  No matter what she did it does not warrant being told to ‘go kill yourself ‘ and calling her ugly names.  Even though she was in the wrong….she’s still a human being with feelings.  Her marriage is ending and she’s hurting.  Yes– she made the conscious decision to appear in a massive reality series– and by doing so she sacrificed a lot of her privacy and set herself up for nasty comments.  But what do people get from trashing her [or any of these girls who have struggled, such as Jenelle and Amber] and passing judgement?  Shame on them.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Lifetime movies make my heart happy

29 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Da Real Homiez, Guilt, Pregnancy, Technology, Television

The image of Rob Lowe looking menacing while he tells his neighbor "I'm untouchable, bitch!" will amuse me for a very long time.

Determined to make the rest of my pregnancy as relaxing as possible for Tatum, I spent my Saturday snuggled up  on the sofa watching four consecutive Lifetime movies.  First there was one about a psychotic woman who was denied for the adoption process….so of course she takes it upon herself to drug and kidnap her pregnant roommate, lock her up at a remote family farmhouse, and attempt to convince everyone the girl disappeared.  I know I can always trust Lifetime for fresh, original content.  Next came a movie about Veronica Mars [oh that actress has a name?] where her mother was a junkie so she takes it upon herself to get legally emancipated and adopt her various half brothers.  Then there was Drew Peterson:  Untouchable, starring Rob Lowe.  Perfect movie for the perfect network.  Finally there was The Pregnancy Project [not to be confused with The Pregnancy Pact] where a senior who is a super student fakes her pregnancy as a ‘social experiment’ in order to obtain firsthand knowledge of the stigmas teen moms face.  You already know the movie concluded with her big reveal of the fake bump in her school auditorium and the thunderous applause of her fellow students who felt terrible about judging her and will never judge another human being ever again and throw all stereotypes out the window from that point forward.

On a more serious note, I don’t think I’ve ever said much about Drew Peterson.  We’ll save that post for another day as my mission is to prevent the heart rate and BP from elevating.  What is it about arrogant scumbags with the last name Peterson?  And, uh, ladies:  if your new man wife ”drowned’ in a dry bathtub, that’s your cue to run screaming in the opposite direction.  Perhaps most sickening about this entire thing is– much like that other Peterson– he has a large female following.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if one wife is expendable….

A knock on my door jarred me from my bed rest reverie.  Thank you to my chauffeur who took me to purchase a new cell phone.  I opted for the $45 unlimited Straight Talk plan from Walmart because it seemed to be the most affordable option aligned with my cellular needs.  While I didn’t purchase a smart phone– why spend the extra money when I’m never far from my laptop and digital camera?– it more than fulfills my needs.  Only family, coworkers, and a few close friends will have the number.  Legal calls and anything official can come to my house.  These ten digits will be more heavily guarded than Fort Knox.  ;)

I ended up talking on the phone for 2+ hours [this is unheard of for me] with Liv last night.  Although we discussed the situation, it wasn’t in a stressful way– she commiserated, expressed outrage at the appropriate times, and offered meaningful insight.  And then it was nice to just catch up and laugh.  She informed me that Memphis no longer had strip clubs but bikini bars.  We also chatted about funeral faux pas, my innovative [and foolproof!] method for banishing a stalker, her school, and other glorious topics.

Such overwhelming sadness and guilt permeates my atmosphere of relaxation.  Need I even explain why I’m so heartbroken?  And the guilt…I feel as though if I focus on staying calm for Tatum [as opposed to spending every second of my day actively trying to get Adam home] then I’m somehow betraying my son.  This is yet another example of how my permanent location has been between a rock and a hard place since November 17th.  Sigh.

 

24 days until Tatum arrives.  <3

 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Breaking Bad & Der Untergang

22 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Films, History, Television, Unconventional Parenting

Breaking Bad‘s fourth season cannot arrive on Netflix soon enough.  Don’t expect any spoilers from me– but suffice it to say the season three cliffhanger left me on the edge of my seat– and that’s putting it mildly.  Sigh.  How do they expect me to wait?!

Walter White….what a fascinating character.  For those of you who don’t know the premise [and I'm not giving anything away here], he’s a high school chemistry teacher whose otherwise mundane world gets spun on its axis when he receives a terminal cancer diagnosis.  His wife is pregnant and his teenage son has cerebral palsy so he panics at the thought of leaving them financially devastated.  So what does he do?  Puts those science skills to good use and manufactures methamphetamine of the highest caliber!

Let me be very cautious how I word this lest I appear to be advocating drugs [whether it's producing, selling, or using] or criminal lifestyles….yet I empathize with Walt.  What parent can’t relate to wanting to provide for their family and ensure their monetary stability?  Although his intentions were good the way he chose to go about ‘conducting business’ is despicable, illegal, and endangering the very people he wishes to protect– so let’s be perfectly clear on that.  The ends do not justify the means.

As you can imagine, the vast majority of Walt’s ‘colleagues’ are upstanding, law abiding citizens with impeccable morals.  The show’s portrayal of somebody with nothing to lose– a man beyond desperation– can be just as dangerous  as any hardened criminal.  It’s endlessly fascinating to watch Walt’s development and the complexities of his character unfold as the storyline progresses.  I cannot recommend this series enough.

…so now I’m watching Der Untergang [The Downfall] hoping to stop these Braxton Hicks contractions and get some sleep.  Watching a cheerful film about the final days of Hitler & Co. in their Berlin bunker probably doesn’t strike most as something that would be calming, immersing myself in something that allows me to exercise my mind– versus these mindless television marathons– distracts me from how uncomfortable I am physically.

Can you tell I’m filled to the brim with glee tonight?

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Reason #345 I hate Atascadero

08 Jan 2012 2 Comments

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Atascadero, Criminals, Mental Illness, Television

The town's largest employer and primary tourist attraction.

Yesterday found me consumed the last minute preparations of JiLTED‘s mini issue so off went the TV.  It’s both ridiculous and shameful how much television I watch…but I’ll save that post for another day.  Suffice it to say I require something mindless that enables me to zone out entirely and exert zero brainpower whatsoever.  Cable marathons [Law & Order: SVU (although that's my preference I'll never deny a Law & Order), Criminal Minds, NCIS, Ghost Adventures, and especially Lockup] work wonders in my quest to get sucked into the boob tube for hours on end.

As soon as the issue was released it was time for Lockup.  I’d even left it on MSNBC so I could flick my remote and jump right into the action.  Imagine my surprise when I heard this sentence:  “Atascadero State Hospital, the large all-male maximum security for the most violent criminally insane sexual offenders….”  Come again?  It’s impossible to miss the sign for the hospital and the acreage [the buildings cannot be seen without entering the property] as you can see it from El Camino Real, the main street in Atascadero, but I was completely oblivious to the fact that it was a facility of this nature.  And here I am thinking it’s more along the lines of MMHI [Memphis Mental Health Institute].  Apparently it employs 2000+ people on over a thousand acres.

Here’s what their website has to say:  “Located on California’s Central Coast, midway between San Francisco and Los Angeles, Atascadero State Hospital (ASH) is an all-male, maximum security, forensic facility serving the entire state of California. ASH opened in 1954 and is a completely self-contained psychiatric hospital constructed within a security perimeter. ASH has a licensed capacity of 1275 beds, of which 204 are acute/psychiatric and 1071 are intermediate care. All residents at Atascadero State Hospital are male and have a mental disability and pose a threat to others or themselves. The majority are remanded for treatment by the superior courts of the counties of California or by the Department of Corrections pursuant to various sections of the California Penal Code and the Welfare and Institutions Code. Individuals are admitted from state prisons, county jails or are transferred from other state hospitals. The hospital does not accept voluntary admissions.”

While I’m sure this isn’t the most cheerful work or ‘residential’ environment, the more I read about it, the more disgusted I feel.  I’m not going to pretend to be an authority on the subject– though I definitely want to ask Brandi [she's lived in this area a long time and used to work in the medical field]– but it sounds like major reform is needed.  NPR’s article “Violence Surges At Hospital For Mentally Ill Criminals” explores some of the recent issues with this place.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

 

The O’Neals

19 Jun 2011 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Heroes, Tatum O'Neal, Television

I absolutely adore Tatum O’Neal.  After reading her memoir, A Paper Life, I immediately felt a connection with her.  This is not to suggest I’m a former child star raised in the chaos of Hollywood, divorced from a notoriously temperamental tennis star, and recently fell off the wagon from heroin addiction– but the way in which she shared herself on those pages truly spoke to me.  Those who are familiar with her story know about her….tumultuous….relationship with her father.  Needless to say I cannot wait to see their reality show, premiering tonight on Oprah’s OWN network.  Let’s hope that OWN comes with our cable package because I will be one very unhappy camper if I can’t see this program.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane