The first annoyances in Cali

05 Aug 2011 2 Comments

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Obsession [bad], Sorry White Trash

Forgive me for deviating from the originally planned topics…..but it’s my blog and I’ll digress if I want to! Allow these grievances aired so I can clear the slate for subsequent posts about the glory of California.

While this was barely a blip in my radar, apparently some of the people I had blocked on Facebook magically became available. Such occurrences really don’t bother me as long as a person isn’t obsessive– and in her defense she wasn’t. But at the same time I was bowled over by the sheer audacity it even took for homegirl to message me….wow. I refuse to glorify anyone’s bad behavior by detailing specifics but if I had attempted to amputate somebody’s leg I would never dream of sending them a message apologizing for the mild boo boo on their lower torso and completely dismiss the gravity [that I purposely inflicted] of the situation. In any lesser circumstances it would be commendable– even respectable–  to apologize yet in this case it was insulting and I found the whole thing bizarre. Needless to say the correspondence got no answer from me.

Speaking of bizarre…..let’s discuss Lord Megatron. Homeboy reads my blog on the daily. Obsessive much? Apparently he is itching to call the cops for some sort of ‘defamation of character.’ I am totally kicking myself in the derriere for not attending law school but the last time I checked defamation does not involve stating well-documented truths masked with a code name.  Quite frankly, it may not be a code name in the traditional sense, because if you use it to refer to yourself [albeit covertly and not in any acceptable social circle], I’d say that’s public domain. The bottom line: if you see something deplorable, without a name, and know it’s about you…..uh, I wouldn’t let on to the masses that I recognize it. Thank all the deities and then some I am thousands of miles away from that psychotic stalker who left a paper trail saying he wanted to bomb cops and murder me and my unborn child!

 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

I would like some cheese with my whine

18 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Anger, Being broke, Caylee Anthony, Family, Frustration, Illness, Injustice, Sorry White Trash, Welfare, Will Reed

Sickness permeates the atmosphere of the Wilke-Reed casa.  Adam has strep throat, Will has been vomiting profusely, my mom is on the tail end of a bug that made her dizzy and weak and I feel like I have all of the above.  Blah.  The three of us have been lying around all day trying to relax and stay hydrated.  I’ve also tried valiantly to avoid the news because there is not enough Promethazine in the world to eradicate the nausea– and anger, frustration, and disgust– knowing that this callous child killer walks free.

Being stressed to the max certainly isn’t helping anything.  I try my best to avoid it but when it surrounds me from all directions from every person I encounter it’s inevitable.  Will got hit with a double whammy yesterday:  some loans he’d expected fell through and certain members of their family put their sorry white trash on full display.

Excellent product placement

If you’re loaning/giving me $100, a new car, my own private island– whatever– I’m not going to rely on anything until it’s in my hands.  This has absolutely nothing to do with the credibility of the individual, it’s just me being cautious and pragmatic.  Discussing money irritates me to no end so I’m just going to stop this conversation right here.  Luckily we requested money to get ahead– not get out of debt– so it’s not the end of the world that things fell through.  Being broke has only strengthened our union.  The couple that eats Ramen noodles together stays together!  Actually, our diet’s a little better than that because we have food stamps, so we can be poor and still have fresh produce.  Win.

As for his family….wow.  Just wow.  I adore Will’s sisters, Holly and Angela, and his Grandma Elder.  And I miss his Grandpa Elder every day.  Those are the only kinfolk of his I’ve actually met but even the ones I only ‘know’ through Facebook seem like great people and you can tell they genuinely care for Will and our little family.  However, Grandma Dorris and Uncle Jimmy can– to steal a beautiful quote from Miss Britney Jean Spears– “kiss my lily white southern Louisiana ass.” Substitute ‘Tennessee’ for ‘Louisiana’ and there you have it.  Part of me wants to chastise these lowlife scumbags for what they’ve done and how they talked to my husband publicly on this blog…..but they aren’t worth anymore of my time and energy.  Suffice it to say they’ll have a lot of explaining to do when they meet their maker.

Auto correct always puts a smile on my face

All this complaining isn’t good for my health and does nothing to solve my problems.  So I’d like to take a moment to congratulate Will on his awesome new mechanic job that will allow us to live comfortably.  We also decided on our apartments so now it’s only a matter of weeks before we are able to move.  More on both of those later.

Between feeling like total dog poo and getting riled up about the aforementioned topics….don’t even get me started on June’s welfare rant.  The only thing worse in life than talking to computer techs over the phone is dealing with anyone from the ’public assistance’ section of the government.  I completely agree with her thoughts and would like to write a companion piece when I get to feeling better.  Goodnight all.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane