5 days, 5 dates**
….earns a fellow the blog treatment.
It’s quite the story how I came to know Josh [an amusing tale that involves fish aplenty and my
creeping abilities keen observational skills] so we’ll save that for a rainy day. All readers need to know is that he’s my neighbor to whom I’d casually spoken.***
Five nights ago I accepted his offer to come watch television and sip on some wine. Conversation flowed easily and we didn’t have to channel surf long before we started watching Star Wars. There I sat, trying to suppress my internal dork, when he correctly identified Boba Fett. Then we bonded over our mutual appreciation of ewoks and Jabba the Hut! As if this wasn’t incredible enough I got to see his collection of hardbound books– including a rare Poe collection and a manuscript from the 1700′s. By this point I’m practically foaming at the mouth and I essentially invited myself over the following evening.
Fortunately the invite was mutual. And I came back three nights in a row after that.
Walking through the door for our second date– and every one that followed– Josh had a glass of wine waiting for me on the kitchen table. Little things like that demonstrate he’s considerate, anticipating something I’ll appreciate. Before anything else he asked how the kids were doing and how my day was. His three dogs jumped in my lap and licked my face. It felt comfortable and normal. I know, regardless of anything else, Josh will be a friend for life.
Never once has he put any sort of pressure on me to come over or made me feel bad for running late. His exact words: “The kids come first. You get here when you get here. I’ll be here all night. Don’t even stress.” As a frazzled single mother who puts an enormous amount of pressure on herself….do I even have to tell you how good it is to hear something like that? He’s understanding and supportive of where I am in my life. He’s able to give advice without coming across as condescending.
I’ve jokingly referred to his house as ‘my sanctuary.’ Yet that’s what it’s becoming. Fabulous company in a stress-free environment where I can relax and unwind. Plus there’s lots of cool stuff to enjoy with a fellow dork.
Family and friends will breathe a collective sigh of relief to know that Josh is not only stable but also a true gentleman. Gainful employment? Check. Vehicle? Check. Home ownership? Check. I’m not one to judge a person experiencing rough times, obviously. However, it’s glaringly apparent whether or not somebody is responsible, mature, and ambitious as they work hard to better themselves versus somebody who sees no need for upward mobility and is content with exerting minimal effort. It did not shock me in the least to hear of his close relationship with his mom. No doubt she taught him the importance of respecting a lady because ‘his mama raised him right,’ as we say in this neck of the woods.
Before I wrote this post I asked him if he would object to being put on blast via Cocktails With Hemingway. He was fine with it. Lest you think I’m jumping the gun, fear not, my speed of choice is snail’s pace. I’m intelligent enough to be mindful of my situation– everything that I’ve been through in California, my current circumstances, and pivotal prospects in the near future. This is not the time to throw caution to the wind and rush into anything or anyone. But I’m also smart enough to know a good person when I see one and give credit where it is due.
A potentially complicated term, there’s room for drastically differing personal definitions– and I can’t stand the gray area. If you’re spending time alone with somebody for the first time is it automatically a date? ‘Going on a date’ and ‘going out with a friend’ differ…..but how? Is it a date only if there is a romantic connotation? What if you view the outing as a date and the other person doesn’t or vice versa? Talk about awkward! You don’t want to be THAT PERSON. The only thing worse than defining a date is defining a boyfriend/girlfriend. Can we just ban labels from society? End rant.
*** Technically he is a neighbor of my parents. Whether or not I live there, it will always be MY house and MY home. So he’s MY neighbor.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,