* R. i. P. * | Cocktails With Hemingway

Rest in Peace, Rick

13 May 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Atascadero, Death, Friends

“He who doesn’t fear death dies only once.” ~ Giovanni Falcone

Today I received the devastating news of Rick’s passing. A dear friend of mine from Atascadero, we met under the most unusual circumstances, but I’ll never forget my first impression. The times we spent together with little group were filled with so much laughter. I never thought I’d shed so many tears over somebody who made me so happy. Rick was a true gentleman with a heart of gold.

I took this at Terry’s in January. Rick acted bashful and said it had been years since anybody took his picture. He asked why I wanted to capture this image and I told him that I wanted to be able to put in my scrapbook to show my Memphis friends their 805 counterparts who got me through the worst time in my life. When he saw the picture he loved it and asked me to print a copy for his son, which I did. In retrospect, I felt compelled to take this picture, and I am so glad I did. That night he told us that we were amongst his best friends and he was so glad to know us.

Montana de Oro

Rick always said that Montana de Oro was the most beautiful place on earth and he wanted to take my friend and me before I went back to Tennessee. I’m so sorry we never got the chance to go. Trying to focus on the positive is exceedingly difficult right now, but I cannot help but smile when I think of our gift exchange. We’d give each other little trinkets whenever we saw each other. Despite constant crying as I write this entry I’m laughing as I recall my last ‘swag’ from Rick: a bottle of delicious wine from Paso Robles, a giant pink bathrobe– because it was the only article of women’s clothing available at the end of a garage sale– and he wanted to be sure he got me something, and [upon hearing me complain about my rough feet] a Ped-Egg….that formerly belonged to his sister. God love him.

I wholeheartedly believe that your soul leaves your body the second your heart stops beating. His soul flew into the heavens immediately and that comforts me. The earthly shell is no more, but nobody deserves that….

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

10 years you’ve been 19

25 Apr 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Adam Sontag

Happy29th birthday, Adam. I love you. I miss you. These comments speak for themselves.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Lala

24 Mar 2013 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Angels, Family, Grief

Let no one weep for me, or celebrate my funeral with mourning; for I still live, as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men.” ~ Quintus Ennuis

Much like MeMae, our beloved Lottie epitomized all that is good in this world. A true class act. Truly irreplaceable. Lala [as Adam called her] left us not even a month after Tatum was born….and I am forever grateful she got to meet Tatum the day before I left for California.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Sacramento Failed Matthew Hernandez

19 Mar 2013 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Activism, Anger, California, Child 'Protective' Services - CPS, Child Abuse, Controversy, Crime, Criminals, Domestic Violence, Drugs, Fail, Frustration, Gestapo, Grief, Injustice, Legal, Legal issues, Outrage, Parenting, Poor Decisions, Upset Tags: Family Court, Jessica Rose Hernandez, Judge Sharon A. Lueras, Matthew Hernandez

What sort of despicable creature kills their son in cold blood with a hatchet? Only a monster– pure evil that is incomprehensible to the rest of us– could murder their own child.

Matthew Hernandez

Monsters exist everywhere. No part of the world escapes heinous acts from the vilest of criminals. The gruesome end to 9 year old Matthew’s life is a tragedy, one that could have happened anywhere, in any region or country. Killer Philip Hernandez could have been a resident of Delaware or Texas or North Dakota, anywhere besides California. Yet as grieving mother Jessica Hernandez will tell you….the state of California does not always act in the best interests of its most vulnerable population.

Cases such as Jessica’s are the extreme, but her allegations [evidence blatantly ignored in the courtroom, denial of basic rights, various forms of discrimination, etc.] echo throughout the state, a common denominator amongst far too many cases. Between Family Court, Child ‘Welfare’ Services, and the foster care system– something is very wrong here.

Jessica Hernandez and her two sons

The undeniable truth: Sacramento courts failed Jessica Hernandez and her son– at the cost of the young boy’s life. A judge chose to disregard crucial information and that irresponsible decision cost a family dearly. She’s not the first judge to do so. Nor will she be the last. To whom are these authority figures judges, social workers, civil servants answering? Other than contesting a verdict via the appeals process, what choice does one have when they know something is wrong? Why must children suffer at the hands of adults supposedly entrusted with their protection?

REFORM AMONGST THE FAMILY LAW COURTS, CWS, AND FOSTER CARE IS IMPERATIVE– THE NEED IS URGENT AND THE TIME IS NOW.

Julie the Hippo

18 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Favorites, Memphis

Julie, a beloved hippopotamus at the Memphis Zoo, went to the giant Serengeti in the sky yesterday.

Hippos are my favorite animal. Memphis is my favorite zoo. May Julie spend her second act splashing in water that flows abundantly, sunning herself in temperatures that remain comfortable, stuffing her face, and being lazy.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

MBC13

13 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Adam, Admiration, Alan Gompers, Ambition, California, Caylee Anthony, Changes, College, Dr. Krause, Firsts, Fox News, Guilt, Highest Self, Inspiration, Meditation, Megan Childers- favorite roomie, Mentor, News, NYC 2010, Ocean, Opportunity, Poor Decisions, Sibling love, Spirituality, Television, The Wee One, Travels, University of Memphis Tags: Greta van Susteren, Mike Huckabee, On the Record, The Huckabee Show

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 13: Do you have regret?

Here’s an actual answer of mine from a MySpace survey several years ago:. “‘No regrets’ summarizes my philosophy on life. Do I make mistakes? Of course. Are there things I would have done differently? Oh yeah. But life is too short to dwell on what could have been. There’s no use crying over spilled milk. Mop it up and move on. Instead of regret view everything as a learning experience. Objectively analyze the situation. Be prepared to face some harsh truths. What were the consequences? Use this knowledge to prevent you from similar outcomes in the future. It’s much easier said than done– and most of us make the same mistakes multiple times before we actually learn– but I try valiantly to have no regrets.

My first apartment [with Megan!] was such a fun time.

Two regrets of mine both involve travel.

In 2007 there was an opportunity for English majors at the University of Memphis to spend six weeks in Romania helping local students learn the English language. Cultural immersion, including staying with a host family, going on field trips, and taking classes on language and history, was the dual focus. It was perfect for me– community service, culture, school credit, doing something I loved and could do well, interesting classes, being in an area of the world where I’ve always wanted to travel, and the experience of studying abroad without the commitment of a full semester. Yet I inexplicably watched the deadline come and go without ever submitting my paperwork.

The next winter I declined an offer to fly to New York to visit my dear friend, Sean Krause. He understood my hesitations about traveling with a 9-month-old Adam [and respected the fact that leaving him during his first Christmas season wasn't an option] and we both agreed to take a rain check. Tragically, we never got that chance because he passed away in February.

Name checked by Greta

So when I got an invitation to fly to NYC and appear on Fox News the following year…I didn’t hesitate. Adam would enjoy a week of being spoiled by his grandparents while I pursued a once in a lifetime opportunity. As I sat in the green room giggling from nerves I thought of Sean, my mentor, and his appearance on Greta Van Susteren’s show. As I wandered aimlessly around the city streets, soaking up my first time in the Big Apple, I knew Sean would be so proud. As I experienced a satsang with Alan Gompers [a personal hero of mine] in Greenwich Village, a transformative experience, I thanked Sean for his help getting me here.”

The last thing I saw before I walked on stage and met the life studio audience

“So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It’s always the last day of summer and I’ve been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I’ll grant you I’ve had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there’s almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.” ~ Blow

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

MBC12

13 Mar 2013 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Adam, Brooklyn Bridge, Cousins, Da Real Homiez, Danielle- partner in crime, Family, Favorites, Golden India, Home Sweet Home, Homesick, Indian, Italian, Little Ashley, Maris- my soul sister, Memphis, Midtown, Motherhood, Neshoba, Relaxation, RP Tracks, Serenity, Sloane, Tatum, Unitarian Universalists

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 12: Something you miss

Adam

Tatum

Mom & Dad [and their cozy house]

My Family

Maris, Danielle, and all those I consider friends

Everyone I’ve loved and lost

Memphis

Tennessee

Brooklyn Bridge Italian Restaurant

Golden India

RP Tracks

Taking ridiculously long baths multiple times a day*

Neshoba

*Not my actual bathtub

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Ashlyn’s Angel Year

08 Mar 2013 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Angels, California, Changes, Death, Grief, Heartbreak, Moving, Women

“We can’t know why the lily has so brief a time to bloom in the warmth of sunlight’s kiss upon its face before it folds into its fragrance and bids the world good night to rest its beauty in a gentler place. But we can know that nothing that is loved is ever lost and no one who has touched a heart can really pass away because some beauty lingers on in each memory of which they’ve been a part.” ~ Ellen Brenneman

*~*Ashlyn Michele Fancher-Pena*~*
12/27/10 – 3/8/12

:: Fly high, baby girl. <3 ::

A year ago today a very special princess got her wings. She was only 14 months old when she became an angel. That’s Tatum’s age next month….

Oh, how I ache for Chrissy and Tim. They lost their precious daughter. Why? It’s so cruel and unfair. All of our lives were irrevocably changed.

I will forever cherish the moments I spent holding Ashlyn in my arms as I felt Tatum kicking in my belly. Those chubby cheeks and that sweet smile stay with me. My mind still cannot comprehend this tragedy. And I desperately need to start that process.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

MBC2

06 Mar 2013 2 Comments

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Adam Sontag, Admiration, Authors, Books, Films, Quotes, Sylvia Plath, Uncategorized, Words of Wisdom

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 2: Favorite Quotes

“The Edge…there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”
~ Hunter S. Thompson

“I live life like the captain of a sinking ship.”
~ Atmosphere

“There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory.” -Mark Twain

“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.”
~ Dead Poets Society

Facebook sure has come in handy with the blog challenge. Taken from the favorite quotes section on my profile:

“You are neurotic and depressed it doesn’t mean that you are sad.”
~ Everclear

“There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
~ Oscar Levant

“They say you only live once; but if you live like I do, once is enough!!”
~ Frank Sinatra

“Happiness amongst intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”
~ Ernest Hemingway

“Janie, today I quit my job. and then I told my boss to go eff himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.” ~ Lester Burnham (American Beauty)

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

“Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
and I eat men like air.”
- Sylvia Plath

:: Les femmes qui lisent sont dangereuses. ::

R. i. P.
* Adam Sontag *
4/25/84 – 7/7/03
Thank you for showing me true love. <3
"The dead govern the living" – Auguste Comte

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Oh, Doctor

23 Feb 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Da Real Homiez, Dr. Krause

“Your life can be taken away at any moment. I just want people to know that anyone can make a difference, no matter how small or big.” ~ Sean Krause
(from a November ’08 article in which I interviewed him)

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Cocktails With Hemingway

Rest in Peace, Rick

10 years you’ve been 19

Lala

Sacramento Failed Matthew Hernandez

Julie the Hippo

MBC13

MBC12

Ashlyn’s Angel Year

MBC2

Oh, Doctor

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