Friday the 13th

Visits with Adam give me strength.

Rise Magazine is by and for parents affected by the Child Welfare System.  Both the Editor and the Editorial Director thought I had some very interesting stories to tell.  I’m absolutely delighted to share with you that Rise accepted my submission packet and they’ll be publishing my w0rk!  As of now I’ll be doing several pieces for them– hopefully that number will multiply as time progresses– and am so thrilled to have this incredible opportunity to share my experiences with others.

It is with tremendous sadness that I must inform you I no longer work for the church.  Although I resigned [and I truly loved the job] it was an amicable parting of ways.  Because I try valiantly to keep my personal and professional lives private, my coworkers were largely in the dark about the magnitude of my situation.  I owed them the respect of being straightforward.  They did not realize that the second Adam’s free [whether he is returned to me or adopted by my parents]– whenever that may be– I am renting a U-Haul, packing my stuff, and driving back to Memphis immediately.  We all agreed that my focus should be getting Adam and reuniting my family as soon as possible.  Since I had not yet resumed work following my maternity leave, it made sense that this would be an appropriate time to make my departure.  What a tremendous honor it was to work for them.

My phenomenal coworkers, the church, and the countless individuals with servant’s hearts and infinite kindness I met through this special place will receive their own post at a later date.

Bills aren’t going to pay themselves, however.  I’m actively searching and have already started the interview circuit for two part-time jobs.  Not to sell myself short….but I’m not overly concerned with finding a position that is indicative of my experience and education.  Find me a place I can start TOMORROW and where I’m perfectly expendable.  ;)

Tatum, 7 weeks

Remember those pesky bruised ribs and that partially collapsed left lung I discussed?  The ribs still hurt like hell, my lung hasn’t gotten any better [though thankfully not any worse], and now I have severe bronchitis which is in danger of escalating into pneumonia.  Awesome.

I refrained from mentioning last week’s visitation debacle with Adam on my blog.  Facebook friends certainly got an earful but I just didn’t have the energy to rehash the upsetting and infuriating ordeal here.  One component of said debacle involved a ‘visitation agreement’ the social worker demanded I sign under threat of having my visits revoked entirely.  I refused.  Today I took a red pen– like the kind teachers use for grading papers– and modified 5 of the 18 statements on the document.  Upon giving it to our supervisor I asked her if she would be so kind as to pass it on to the social worker and if she agreed with my changes then I’d love to put my John Hancock on the bottom of it.

Exciting legal things are happening.  Without divulging too much information, all I can say is that Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C are in effect.  In the courtroom, behind the scenes, on the web….people are fighting for Adam.

No words can describe the hell I’ve endured since I returned to California alone.  Pure agony.  It’s a cruel and unusual punishment where the ones who truly suffer are my two innocent children.  Despite all the suffering, something’s changed recently:  I have a feeling fr0m deep within that this nightmare will be over soon, that we’re not going to be here very much longer. 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Sunday afternoon

Maybe if your password is so blatantly obvious it will throw people off!

  • Crib – check
  • Travel system [car seat + stroller] – check
  • Battery operated swing – check
  • Portable bouncer seat – check
  • Bottles – check
  • Formula – check
  • Bibs – check
  • Diapers – check
  • Wipes – check
  • Changing table – check
  • Clothes – check
  • Dreft – check
  • Baby toiletries – check
  • Blankets – check
  • Cuddly animals – check
  • Infant toys – check
  • Books – check
  • Soothing music – check
  • Baby Einstein DVD’s – check
  • Sling for Mommy – check
  • Monitors – check
  • Pack ‘N’ Play system – check

The only two things I’m missing are a bassinet [my friend who works at Target is picking it up for me] and a baby tub [currently being shipped from Memphis].  Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who gave me surplus baby goodies and other gifts.  I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.  Please don’t think I’ve lost my manners– I’m holding off on thank you notes until Tatum arrives so I can actually enclose a picture of her with and/or wearing your item[s].  =)

Though my pregnancy has been robbed from me, nobody will ruin Tatum’s birth.  For so long her impending arrival has been the light at the end of the tunnel.  Much to my dismay, holding her in my arms won’t get me out of the tunnel….but at least I’ll be bathed in light and can see the exit.  I can’t wait to meet my precious baby girl.  Soon enough we’ll all be together.  Within a matter of days this blog will take on a considerably happier, lighter tone.

Having spent the past few years as an internet presence, I’ve been in blogging game long enough to understand that certain topics [such as Whitney Houston] quadruple your traffic.  This is not something I’d exploit nor would I be so crass as to think that a breaking news item is ‘good for business’ but I think it’s so interesting to observe all the international hits since my post last night about the loss of a legend.  Most of the new traffic comes from Asia:  China, Indonesia, Malaysia, and Lao People’s Democratic Republic.  I’ve also received a new follower from Greece and encourage you all to read his story.

Wish me luck, everyone.  I discovered an incredible publication last night that resonates with me personally…and they are looking for writers.  Tonight’s project involves filling out my application, answering questions, and gathering samples of my work.  I’ll reveal the name of the magazine after everything is submitted.  Of course this is only a freelance opportunity– something I’d do in my ‘spare time’– but I’m hoping and praying they’ll accept me.  Fingers crossed.

#FirstWorldProblems

Speaking of magazines, from now until Tatum’s arrival I’m going to be working constantly on JiLTED.  A burden will be lifted from my shoulders if my only responsibilities involve editing and nagging our writers to do their thing as we approach the March 24th deadline.  If you still haven’t called/emailed to discuss your contributions for the debut issue now is the time.  I’m especially looking forward to what people have to say regarding politics.  You know you have something to say about politics.

Hey Melissa Calvert!  I’m calling you out publicly here.   Don’t forget to be working on the logo, m’lady.  Please and thank you.  ;)

I’m going to eat the delicious matzo ball soup I made for dinner, take a bubble bath, and get in my pajamas to read a bedtime story for Adam on YouTube.  Bonus points for the fact that I just caught the opening performance on the Grammy Awards from the beautiful and insanely talented Bruno Mars.  More blogs to come later tonight.

9 days until Tatum’s arrival.  <3

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane