MBC11

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 11: Last book you read

For those of you unfamiliar with Damien Echols and the ‘West Memphis Three’ here is some background.

Let it be known that I have researched this case extensively. It takes more than a celebrity endorsement or a buzzworthy film for me jump on the bandwagon. I’ve done my homework.

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West Memphis, AR is ‘right across the bridge’ from downtown Memphis. At the time of the tragic deaths, I was the same age as those three little boys, only six years old. The killer[s] of Stevie Branch, Christopher Byers, and Michael Moore literally got away with murder.

This case is one that’s been on my radar for years. Not only do I have an inherent understanding of life in the Bible Belt of the deep south, but I know all too well what it’s like to be on the fringe in high school under these conditions. Deviation from the mainstream is often viewed with ignorance, scorn, fear, or all of the above. A wardrobe filled with black and a taste for hardcore music solicit stares. The whispers begin. Interest in counterculture and alternative spiritualities really gets people talking. Society eyes the stereotypical ostracized teenager [outcast, freak, weird, scary, etc.] with suspicion, which quickly escalates into a mob mentality when a scapegoat is needed. Guilty until proven innocent. Toss a bunch of ideas around and see if anything sticks. No matter how absurd the claim, once the seed is planted, the damage is done. Some people get railroaded without ever knowing what hit them. Rights get violated. Not everyone is equal in the eyes of the law. Preposterous allegations become fact while irrefutable evidence to the contrary never sees the light of day.

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Don’t even get me started on the colossal failure of the judicial system….

I leave you with a handful of quotes from within the pages and two critical reviews that resonated with me.

“Everyone puts on their Sunday best and pays tribute to religion’s slaughterhouse and then dines on a cannibal communion. Education is foreign to the sunburned beasts of burden, and the painkiller comes in black-labeled Tennessee bottles. No one here moves quickly, but everyone moves with absolute certainty.”

“I’ve seen men who were haunted to the point of madness by things that never were and things that should have been….The ghosts in fire freeze and the ghosts in ice burn. Some died long ago; some were never born. Some ride the blood in my veins until it reaches my brain. Sometimes I even mistake myself for one. Sometimes I am one.”

“I want a life of strife, lust, striving, seeking, struggling, and debauchery.”

“Any friendship that is worth it’s weight is like a dark and secret place where you hide bits of yourself. The door can be opened only by the two people who have the key, and you carry it with you wherever you go. Magnify that by a billion, and you begin to get an idea of what marriage is like.”

~

“Damien Echols spent eighteen years on death row for murders he did not commit. Somehow, in the depths of his unspeakable nightmare, he found the courage and strength not only to survive, but to grow, to create, to forgive, and to understand. Life After Death is a brilliant, haunting, painful, and uplifting narrative of a hopeless childhood, a wrongful conviction, a brutal incarceration, and the beginning of a new life.” – John Grisham

“The life of Damien Echols is a journey similar to that of the metal that becomes a samurai’s sword. Heated and pounded until it becomes hardened, it can hold its edge for centuries. It is incredible that Damien endured and survived one of the most tragic miscarriages of American justice, and emerged such a centered, articulate and extraordinary man and writer. Life After Death proves that he paid dearly for his wisdom. – Henry Rollins

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

MBC4

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 4: Favorite childhood memory

As I get older I realize just how fortunate I am in terms of my upbringing and the extremely close relationship I’ve always had with my family. Nobody ever treated me inappropriately or abused my trust– and it’s shocking and sickening hoe many people cannot say that. Save a few upsets and an unfortunate trip to Shiloh, my childhood would be considered ideal by most standards. I enjoyed normalcy, routine, and structure. My parents were attentive and involved and ensured our home was happy and safe. They set boundaries and established that above all else they were Mom & Dad, not my best buddy. Nobody pushed me into any activities and I had the freedom to pursue my own interests. Questions were always encouraged with answered given patiently. I never felt as though I was a source of irritation or excluded. Our extended family gathered frequently. The adults in my life were positive role models. We laughed a lot. Above all I felt loved, valued, and appreciated.

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Now I know where Adam gets his photo faces…
[Aunt Sarah & Uncle Tommy's house • Germantown, TN • Easter 1989]

No one particular memory stands out as my favorite. Some of the best times I had were spent with my older cousins, Oliver and Gideon, so many of the fondest memories involve them. We went to movies together often. Major holidays and eagerly anticipated new releases had us in line at Malco, usually with my Dad. We went on road trips to Cookeville to see our relatives and learn fascinating information about our lineage. On one such trip we even snuck me into Spanky’s, but I’ll save that story for another day. I attended all of their graduations from both high school and college [and I know they would have done the same for me had I opted to participate such tedious ceremonies]. I had roles– printed in the program nonetheless!– in each of their weddings [and I would have done the same for them if my marriage ceremony wasn't so 'nontraditional']. I love my cousins [and their awesome wives too] and am so blessed that they have been such a huge part of my life from childhood to the present day. I know our bond will continue for the rest of our lives and hope we pass it on through our children as well. Gideon and his wife have two sons [younger than Adam but older than Tatum] so the cousins are moving into the next generation….

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The most recent of the cousin shots that have accumulated over the years
[Mom & Dad's house • Germantown, TN • Christmas 2012]

Their separate college experiences contributed some exciting memories as well. My first concert was the Rolling Stones [how cool is that?!]. If not for Oliver and his friend from school sitting a few rows away, Mom and Aunt Sarah, my tickets to the show, might not have gone. I also got to witness a thrilling college football game [and that's saying something because I'm apathetic to sports] between Tennessee & Arkansas– where the Vols beat the Razorbacks after SEVEN ROUNDS of overtime– which I never would have seen had Gideon not went to school at UT.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

I present to you….My Sister Wife!

We’re such tree huggers.

Earlier this afternoon my sister-in-law received a very interesting suggestion:  that she should marry me.  Why didn’t we think of this sooner?!  As lovely as my union with Will has been, it’s about time that I trade in for a newer model of the same sex in the same family.  Even her brother gives his blessing.   If I marry a female it should most definitely be his little sister.  ;)

So if you see that we have changed our status on the book of Face, you know why.  There’s something that excites me endlessly about being wed to my sister.  FLDS folk would be proud.  I may as well don my hair poof and prarie dress and rejoice in my incestuous polygamist nature.  Because that’s just how I roll!

In other news we’re having a wonderful night in Atascadero.  There are SEVEN children under the age of eight here so Adam’s having a blast out in Aunt Nita’s backyard.  Uncle David cooked some meat on the grill, Kayla made brownies, and my grand contribution was rotel.  We did some serious damage at the store today.  Food 4 Less is already a discount store but grocery prices are considerably cheaper here.  I dabbled in cooking back in Memphis but it’s time I refine my technique here.  There are definitely some good teachers as I haven’t eaten a bad thing yet.

Will got an offer for more work today.  I’ve got two promising interviews early next week so if I could get one– or both– of those it would be awesome.  There’s a third job I applied for but have yet to hear from them….if I could stagger all three of those it would be brilliant.  Graduate school will just have to wait. 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

False advertising

I borrowed this from a gallery entitled "Detroit's Ghetto" but this gives you an idea of the gem we saw today.

Will and I had our first appointment to view a potential house this morning.  A safe area with quality schools is our primary objective as we know our first rental won’t be the glorious mansion we will eventually inhabit.  The property was districted for Snowden Elementary– a great school– so I went in with an open mind and cautiously optimistic expectations.  In Memphis you can literally cross certain streets and go from gorgeous homes with luxury vehicles in the driveways to poverty and blight within a matter of feet.  We knew the area and the price were a bit of a gamble but nothing could have prepared us for what we saw.

The entire place was boarded up and in shambles.  Trash and broken bottles littered the overgrown lawn.  Only two other residences in the cove actually had occupants.  It looked as if it was a ghost cul-de-sac, the entire street a victim of foreclosures from an unforgiving housing market.  I found it very disheartening as the thought of a family having to abruptly leave their life– pile up their treasured possessions in the street as they were forcibly evicted– and became upset when I saw a pink, plastic butterfly hair clip belonging to a little girl caught in the door frame of the front porch.  What happens to those people?  Where do they go?  How does it feel to be in such a helpless situation?  I am not so naive as to think that foreclosures and evictions only happen in ‘bad’ areas but being in a place where this seemed to be an all too common norm as opposed to an unfortunate exception was very upsetting.

Once inside the home, I loved it.  The previous owners obviously put attention into the interior maintenance as it was very clean and well-maintained.  I wasn’t crazy about the small living room but the kitchen was large and open and the four bedrooms were all spacious in relation to the overall size of the house.  Suffice it to say the adorable home we saw on the realtor’s website was not a fair and accurate representation of the place we toured today!

With two children, safety is not something we will compromise.  If I wouldn’t want my kids– or anyone else’s for that matter– playing outside [even with adult supervision] that is no area to raise a family.  And that’s just heartbreaking.  Far too many areas are like this.  Wake up, Memphis!  It’s time to take back our city.  We deserve so much better.

Today wasn’t a total failure, however, as it definitely got me thinking…..and we made a very important concession that we’re open to the idea of an apartment.  Originally we had limited our choices to rental houses and that was a selfish mistake derived from our desire of ‘our own space’ as opposed to the best interest of our growing family and general safety concerns.  Furthermore, we’ve set a budget that includes deposits and are aggressively pursuing apartments while keeping houses on the back burner.  Live and learn.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane