Sacramento Failed Matthew Hernandez

19 Mar 2013 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Activism, Anger, California, Child 'Protective' Services - CPS, Child Abuse, Controversy, Crime, Criminals, Domestic Violence, Drugs, Fail, Frustration, Gestapo, Grief, Injustice, Legal, Legal issues, Outrage, Parenting, Poor Decisions, Upset Tags: , , ,

What sort of despicable creature kills their son in cold blood with a hatchet? Only a monster– pure evil that is incomprehensible to the rest of us– could murder their own child.

Matthew Hernandez

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Monsters exist everywhere. No part of the world escapes heinous acts from the vilest of criminals. The gruesome end to 9 year old Matthew’s life is a tragedy, one that could have happened anywhere, in any region or country. Killer Philip Hernandez could have been a resident of Delaware or Texas or North Dakota, anywhere besides California. Yet as grieving mother Jessica Hernandez will tell you….the state of California does not always act in the best interests of its most vulnerable population.

Cases such as Jessica’s are the extreme, but her allegations [evidence blatantly ignored in the courtroom, denial of basic rights, various forms of discrimination, etc.] echo throughout the state, a common denominator amongst far too many cases. Between Family Court, Child ‘Welfare’ Services, and the foster care system– something is very wrong here.

Jessica Hernandez and her two sons
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The undeniable truth: Sacramento courts failed Jessica Hernandez and her son– at the cost of the young boy’s life. A judge chose to disregard crucial information and that irresponsible decision cost a family dearly. She’s not the first judge to do so. Nor will she be the last. To whom are these authority figures judges, social workers, civil servants answering? Other than contesting a verdict via the appeals process, what choice does one have when they know something is wrong? Why must children suffer at the hands of adults supposedly entrusted with their protection?

REFORM AMONGST THE FAMILY LAW COURTS, CWS, AND FOSTER CARE IS IMPERATIVE– THE NEED IS URGENT AND THE TIME IS NOW.

MBC11

11 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Anger, Controversy, Crime, Fear, Injustice, Justice, Legal, Marriage, Outrage, Religion, The South, Trials, USA, West Memphis 3

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 11: Last book you read

For those of you unfamiliar with Damien Echols and the ‘West Memphis Three’ here is some background.

Let it be known that I have researched this case extensively. It takes more than a celebrity endorsement or a buzzworthy film for me jump on the bandwagon. I’ve done my homework.

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West Memphis, AR is ‘right across the bridge’ from downtown Memphis. At the time of the tragic deaths, I was the same age as those three little boys, only six years old. The killer[s] of Stevie Branch, Christopher Byers, and Michael Moore literally got away with murder.

This case is one that’s been on my radar for years. Not only do I have an inherent understanding of life in the Bible Belt of the deep south, but I know all too well what it’s like to be on the fringe in high school under these conditions. Deviation from the mainstream is often viewed with ignorance, scorn, fear, or all of the above. A wardrobe filled with black and a taste for hardcore music solicit stares. The whispers begin. Interest in counterculture and alternative spiritualities really gets people talking. Society eyes the stereotypical ostracized teenager [outcast, freak, weird, scary, etc.] with suspicion, which quickly escalates into a mob mentality when a scapegoat is needed. Guilty until proven innocent. Toss a bunch of ideas around and see if anything sticks. No matter how absurd the claim, once the seed is planted, the damage is done. Some people get railroaded without ever knowing what hit them. Rights get violated. Not everyone is equal in the eyes of the law. Preposterous allegations become fact while irrefutable evidence to the contrary never sees the light of day.

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Don’t even get me started on the colossal failure of the judicial system….

I leave you with a handful of quotes from within the pages and two critical reviews that resonated with me.

“Everyone puts on their Sunday best and pays tribute to religion’s slaughterhouse and then dines on a cannibal communion. Education is foreign to the sunburned beasts of burden, and the painkiller comes in black-labeled Tennessee bottles. No one here moves quickly, but everyone moves with absolute certainty.”

“I’ve seen men who were haunted to the point of madness by things that never were and things that should have been….The ghosts in fire freeze and the ghosts in ice burn. Some died long ago; some were never born. Some ride the blood in my veins until it reaches my brain. Sometimes I even mistake myself for one. Sometimes I am one.”

“I want a life of strife, lust, striving, seeking, struggling, and debauchery.”

“Any friendship that is worth it’s weight is like a dark and secret place where you hide bits of yourself. The door can be opened only by the two people who have the key, and you carry it with you wherever you go. Magnify that by a billion, and you begin to get an idea of what marriage is like.”

~

“Damien Echols spent eighteen years on death row for murders he did not commit. Somehow, in the depths of his unspeakable nightmare, he found the courage and strength not only to survive, but to grow, to create, to forgive, and to understand. Life After Death is a brilliant, haunting, painful, and uplifting narrative of a hopeless childhood, a wrongful conviction, a brutal incarceration, and the beginning of a new life.” – John Grisham

“The life of Damien Echols is a journey similar to that of the metal that becomes a samurai’s sword. Heated and pounded until it becomes hardened, it can hold its edge for centuries. It is incredible that Damien endured and survived one of the most tragic miscarriages of American justice, and emerged such a centered, articulate and extraordinary man and writer. Life After Death proves that he paid dearly for his wisdom. – Henry Rollins

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

MBC1

05 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in A woman's Right to choose, Anxiety, Birth control, Blogs, Child 'Protective' Services - CPS, Child Abuse, Death Penalty, Etc., Facebook, Feminism, GLBT issues, Goals, Guilty Pleasures, Injustice, Kids, Legal, Passion, Race, Reproductive health, Sloane, Social Justice, Women

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 1: A self portrait + 5 random facts

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My friend, Preston, captured this image in 2005 during a spring photo shoot at the historic Peabody Hotel in Memphis. Megan Childers [favorite roomie and actual roomie at the time!] served as my partner in crime. We frolicked around downtown, laughing and feeling famous as we played model. I adored my strapless , formfitting dress. It made me feel glamorous and feminine– a radical departure from my tomboy style– and I distinctly remember a sense of maturity that was otherwise foreign to my 19 year old college self. The red dress with black polka dots gave me a figure [prior to my childbearing curves I rocked the physique of a fifth grade boy], much to my delight. Overall I felt stylish, elegant, sassy, playful…and exhausted. This was one of the last pictures Preston snapped. I love the way my multicolored bracelets [to this day I still wear dozens of them] are visible. Getting dolled up without compromising my identity created lasting memories. It was a fun day during a very fun time in my life.

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If the phone rings at my favorite newspaper, I answer it, regardless of employment status. Maris took this picture of me at my old desk taking a call during my last trip home [December 2012]. Note the Jersey Shore shirt.

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I uploaded a “25 Random Facts About Me” note to Facebook three years ago. Ten items didn’t make the cut whereas I copied the rest. Present day commentary is italicized.

#1) In case you haven’t noticed, I live on my own planet most of the time. My little universe consists of a plethora of books/magazines [I'd rather read than talk], abundant internet usage, and immersing myself in whatever captivates me at the moment….but I always come back to reality and get things done. Well, most of the time.
I cringe now as I read that statement. While every word is true, it is not immediately clear that I am describing ‘me’ time versus family time. My children get 100% of my focus 100% of the time. I just can’t say the same for adults. ;)

#2) Two of my worst vices are celebrity gossip [I check Perez Hilton religiously- heaven forbid I miss out on important news] and really bad television. Especially MTV. 16 & Pregnant, Teen Mom 1 & 2, Jersey Shore, True Life– I can’t get enough. For the longest time I tried to keep this ‘problem’ under wraps. Yet one day during a 3000-level philosophy class on campus an Us Weekly fell out of my backpack. Busted. I decided then to embrace it.
It’s been almost a year since I’ve had cable and the funds for magazines so I’ve learned to do without…except People magazine and the free TMZ app.

#3) I was adopted at birth. Overall I’m quite indifferent to this fact. I’m not upset or harboring resentment, I’ve just never really cared. However, I am currently in the process of obtaining medical records for the sake of Adam.
Those efforts were suspended due to an unexpected fee and will continue as soon as I am able.

#4) Through my family I can claim Reese Witherspoon, Mark Twain, and John McCain as my relatives or people that have married into our cozy bunch.
That hasn’t changed.

#5) Sports are not my cup of tea. But I do enjoy playing hockey and water polo and watching motocross.
That hasn’t changed either.

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#6) I am a sucker for a Bloody Mary or a Red Stripe beer.
Mmm….

#7) If I could have any ‘superhero power,’ I would choose to be fluent in every language that ever existed and would speak them all frequently.
I wish.

#8) Cotton balls terrify me and I refuse to touch them. As for other phobias, I hate flying, but I have to do it…I’m a nervous wreck on board an aircraft vessel. You do not want to sit next to me.
Oprah had a woman on her now defunct talk show who shared my irrational fear. Oprah also said San Luis Obispo was the happiest place in America. Boy, do I have some bombshells for Ms. Winfrey….

#9) Communication is my weakest link. I hate talking on the phone. I won’t call you unless it’s an emergency. Texting isn’t my forte either. Please don’t ever take it personally if I’m not the best at speaking with you and can never initiate a conversation.
Why can’t we all just email each other?

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#10) To say I am a liberal is an understatement. Women’s issues [especially pro-choice ones], safety for children, rights of LGBT individuals, equality, justice, compassion, kindness, peace, liberty….these things are so important to me.
Add to this list a massive overhaul of Child ‘Welfare” Services. Reforms in Family Court. Protect those innocent kids who did nothing to deserve such a fate.

#11) I am painfully shy. Sometimes it takes me years to warm up to people. But once you get me started, I don’t stop! I’m like a sponge. I sit quietly and absorb everything.
Sarcasm is a virtue and silence is golden. Both are also my defense mechanisms.

#12) If you really want to see me panic, give me ‘bad’ attention. An example of bad attention is a surprise party or servers singing to me in a crowded restaurant. ‘Good’ attention includes public speaking and/or recognition for my accomplishments.
It’s a fine line between praise and panic attack.

#13) Currently I have 9 tattoos and plan on getting at least 9 more. Sorry, Mom and Dad. All of my tattoos are in black ink. I don’t do colors. They are beautiful on others but not for me. My tattoos are words and symbols as opposed to illustrations.
Now I have 13.

#14) Writing is my passion. I will be published. There are too many stories I have to tell and topics to explore for me to remain silent.
AMEN.

#15) I am such a daredevil. This has toned down significantly since I became a mother but I’ll do anything to get an adrenaline rush.
I can’t wait to leap from a plane in the Memphis sky, parachute through the Memphis air, and land on the Memphis ground.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Friday the 13th

13 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Adam, Anxiety, Being broke, Child 'Protective' Services - CPS, Employment, Gestapo, HC, Homesick, JiLTED, Legal, Online Materials, Tatum

Visits with Adam give me strength.

Rise Magazine is by and for parents affected by the Child Welfare System.  Both the Editor and the Editorial Director thought I had some very interesting stories to tell.  I’m absolutely delighted to share with you that Rise accepted my submission packet and they’ll be publishing my w0rk!  As of now I’ll be doing several pieces for them– hopefully that number will multiply as time progresses– and am so thrilled to have this incredible opportunity to share my experiences with others.

It is with tremendous sadness that I must inform you I no longer work for the church.  Although I resigned [and I truly loved the job] it was an amicable parting of ways.  Because I try valiantly to keep my personal and professional lives private, my coworkers were largely in the dark about the magnitude of my situation.  I owed them the respect of being straightforward.  They did not realize that the second Adam’s free [whether he is returned to me or adopted by my parents]– whenever that may be– I am renting a U-Haul, packing my stuff, and driving back to Memphis immediately.  We all agreed that my focus should be getting Adam and reuniting my family as soon as possible.  Since I had not yet resumed work following my maternity leave, it made sense that this would be an appropriate time to make my departure.  What a tremendous honor it was to work for them.

My phenomenal coworkers, the church, and the countless individuals with servant’s hearts and infinite kindness I met through this special place will receive their own post at a later date.

Bills aren’t going to pay themselves, however.  I’m actively searching and have already started the interview circuit for two part-time jobs.  Not to sell myself short….but I’m not overly concerned with finding a position that is indicative of my experience and education.  Find me a place I can start TOMORROW and where I’m perfectly expendable.  ;)

Tatum, 7 weeks

Remember those pesky bruised ribs and that partially collapsed left lung I discussed?  The ribs still hurt like hell, my lung hasn’t gotten any better [though thankfully not any worse], and now I have severe bronchitis which is in danger of escalating into pneumonia.  Awesome.

I refrained from mentioning last week’s visitation debacle with Adam on my blog.  Facebook friends certainly got an earful but I just didn’t have the energy to rehash the upsetting and infuriating ordeal here.  One component of said debacle involved a ‘visitation agreement’ the social worker demanded I sign under threat of having my visits revoked entirely.  I refused.  Today I took a red pen– like the kind teachers use for grading papers– and modified 5 of the 18 statements on the document.  Upon giving it to our supervisor I asked her if she would be so kind as to pass it on to the social worker and if she agreed with my changes then I’d love to put my John Hancock on the bottom of it.

Exciting legal things are happening.  Without divulging too much information, all I can say is that Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C are in effect.  In the courtroom, behind the scenes, on the web….people are fighting for Adam.

No words can describe the hell I’ve endured since I returned to California alone.  Pure agony.  It’s a cruel and unusual punishment where the ones who truly suffer are my two innocent children.  Despite all the suffering, something’s changed recently:  I have a feeling fr0m deep within that this nightmare will be over soon, that we’re not going to be here very much longer. 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

The miraculous Owen babies

14 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Blessings, Friends, Legal, Miracles

Elizabeth with her miracle babies, James & Catherine

Despite the profound joy associated with the news of my vehicle, I struggled significantly with my anger today, and even planned to blog extensively about it.  That changed the second I signed onto Facebook and saw Elizabeth’s [a friend from Memphis who went to St. Agnes] status:

“One year ago today, Jan. 13, 2011, we found out our baby A (Catherine) had fluid behind her neck. The specialist thought downs, turners, trisomy 13 or 18. If she were to make it out alive, Downs would be the best one out of all 4. She has none of the above, but a rare chromosome abnormality ( they say she is #26 in the world). And to think the Dr. Asked us a million times if we wanted to terminate her. God blessed us with two children for a reason. I might not understand why us, or why Catherine but I thank God he picked us to be her Parents! I looked at her tonight as she was asleep, just so peaceful and beautiful! Strawberry blonde hair, big blue eyes, and the longest eye lashes you have ever seen. And she doesn’t even have to curl them! Lucky her. She might be missing a part of a chromosome, but she is the most perfect thing in the world!!!!!!”

Shame on you, Sloane.  As if the magnificent morning with Adam and the transportation dilemma solved wasn’t enough reason to count my blessings– what a reality check.  How could I possibly express my anger after reading that?  I gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby boy and there’s every indication that Tatum will follow suit.  Everyone assumes their children will have a clean bill of health….

“I might not understand why us, or why Catherine but I thank God he picked us to be her Parents!”  With every roadblock I encounter, I become increasingly cognizant of how those around me address the obstacles in their lives, particularly their attitude and faith [whatever their spirituality may be].  I’m humbled by Elizabeth.  May her children continue to flourish and her determination inspire us all.

Focus on the blessings.  Let the anger diminish.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Days 11-16

16 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Ambition, Blessings, Food, Friends, Goals, Haters, Italian, Legal, Military, Restaurants, Social Justice

Here is some much needed reflection on my part.  No matter how ‘bad’ I think I have it….there are always countless people who have it much, much worse.  I am eternally grateful.  

Don and his co-pilot in Afghanistan, '08

11)  It wouldn’t be the land of the free if it wasn’t the home of the brave– I am so thankful for our veterans– especially my dad and all of my friends who have served in the military.  Although every role serves a vital function in our armed forces, it boggles my mind all that is required of soldiers in combat and their families.  What a sacrifice.  Thank you.

12)  Two words:  my attorney.

13)  I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge every ‘hater’ or anyone who has ever tried to hurt me or wanted me to fail.  People like you make my happiness and accomplishments that much sweeter!  Perhaps this isn’t the most mature statement I’ve ever uttered but it’s always nice to prove people wrong.  Success is the sweetest revenge.  ;)

14)  Il Cortile makes my heart happy.  I’ve only been there once– and have no idea when I can afford to eat there again– but it’s comforting just knowing it’s there waiting on me.

15)  The fact that I’ll never stop hoping, dreaming, and planning is a reason to give thanks.  I’ve already got an idea for a really promising and beneficial non-profit that won’t require much of an initial financial investment.  Obviously I don’t have the proper time to devote to it now but I can’t wait until things settle and I can get started.  There will never be enough time in my life for all the schooling and experience I want….and that’s exactly the way I like it.

16)  So many little things bring a smile to my face.  Whether it’s the man who drops his old magazines off for me at the office, an unexpected coffee from my coworker, bus drivers who give me a break [knowing that I usually have a pass], the supportive teachers at Adam’s school, or the staff at two local organizations that put us on a special Thanksgiving list– these things make my day and mean the world to me.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane