MBC1

05 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in A woman's Right to choose, Anxiety, Birth control, Blogs, Child 'Protective' Services - CPS, Child Abuse, Death Penalty, Etc., Facebook, Feminism, GLBT issues, Goals, Guilty Pleasures, Injustice, Kids, Legal, Passion, Race, Reproductive health, Sloane, Social Justice, Women

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 1: A self portrait + 5 random facts

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My friend, Preston, captured this image in 2005 during a spring photo shoot at the historic Peabody Hotel in Memphis. Megan Childers [favorite roomie and actual roomie at the time!] served as my partner in crime. We frolicked around downtown, laughing and feeling famous as we played model. I adored my strapless , formfitting dress. It made me feel glamorous and feminine– a radical departure from my tomboy style– and I distinctly remember a sense of maturity that was otherwise foreign to my 19 year old college self. The red dress with black polka dots gave me a figure [prior to my childbearing curves I rocked the physique of a fifth grade boy], much to my delight. Overall I felt stylish, elegant, sassy, playful…and exhausted. This was one of the last pictures Preston snapped. I love the way my multicolored bracelets [to this day I still wear dozens of them] are visible. Getting dolled up without compromising my identity created lasting memories. It was a fun day during a very fun time in my life.

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If the phone rings at my favorite newspaper, I answer it, regardless of employment status. Maris took this picture of me at my old desk taking a call during my last trip home [December 2012]. Note the Jersey Shore shirt.

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I uploaded a “25 Random Facts About Me” note to Facebook three years ago. Ten items didn’t make the cut whereas I copied the rest. Present day commentary is italicized.

#1) In case you haven’t noticed, I live on my own planet most of the time. My little universe consists of a plethora of books/magazines [I'd rather read than talk], abundant internet usage, and immersing myself in whatever captivates me at the moment….but I always come back to reality and get things done. Well, most of the time.
I cringe now as I read that statement. While every word is true, it is not immediately clear that I am describing ‘me’ time versus family time. My children get 100% of my focus 100% of the time. I just can’t say the same for adults. ;)

#2) Two of my worst vices are celebrity gossip [I check Perez Hilton religiously- heaven forbid I miss out on important news] and really bad television. Especially MTV. 16 & Pregnant, Teen Mom 1 & 2, Jersey Shore, True Life– I can’t get enough. For the longest time I tried to keep this ‘problem’ under wraps. Yet one day during a 3000-level philosophy class on campus an Us Weekly fell out of my backpack. Busted. I decided then to embrace it.
It’s been almost a year since I’ve had cable and the funds for magazines so I’ve learned to do without…except People magazine and the free TMZ app.

#3) I was adopted at birth. Overall I’m quite indifferent to this fact. I’m not upset or harboring resentment, I’ve just never really cared. However, I am currently in the process of obtaining medical records for the sake of Adam.
Those efforts were suspended due to an unexpected fee and will continue as soon as I am able.

#4) Through my family I can claim Reese Witherspoon, Mark Twain, and John McCain as my relatives or people that have married into our cozy bunch.
That hasn’t changed.

#5) Sports are not my cup of tea. But I do enjoy playing hockey and water polo and watching motocross.
That hasn’t changed either.

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#6) I am a sucker for a Bloody Mary or a Red Stripe beer.
Mmm….

#7) If I could have any ‘superhero power,’ I would choose to be fluent in every language that ever existed and would speak them all frequently.
I wish.

#8) Cotton balls terrify me and I refuse to touch them. As for other phobias, I hate flying, but I have to do it…I’m a nervous wreck on board an aircraft vessel. You do not want to sit next to me.
Oprah had a woman on her now defunct talk show who shared my irrational fear. Oprah also said San Luis Obispo was the happiest place in America. Boy, do I have some bombshells for Ms. Winfrey….

#9) Communication is my weakest link. I hate talking on the phone. I won’t call you unless it’s an emergency. Texting isn’t my forte either. Please don’t ever take it personally if I’m not the best at speaking with you and can never initiate a conversation.
Why can’t we all just email each other?

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#10) To say I am a liberal is an understatement. Women’s issues [especially pro-choice ones], safety for children, rights of LGBT individuals, equality, justice, compassion, kindness, peace, liberty….these things are so important to me.
Add to this list a massive overhaul of Child ‘Welfare” Services. Reforms in Family Court. Protect those innocent kids who did nothing to deserve such a fate.

#11) I am painfully shy. Sometimes it takes me years to warm up to people. But once you get me started, I don’t stop! I’m like a sponge. I sit quietly and absorb everything.
Sarcasm is a virtue and silence is golden. Both are also my defense mechanisms.

#12) If you really want to see me panic, give me ‘bad’ attention. An example of bad attention is a surprise party or servers singing to me in a crowded restaurant. ‘Good’ attention includes public speaking and/or recognition for my accomplishments.
It’s a fine line between praise and panic attack.

#13) Currently I have 9 tattoos and plan on getting at least 9 more. Sorry, Mom and Dad. All of my tattoos are in black ink. I don’t do colors. They are beautiful on others but not for me. My tattoos are words and symbols as opposed to illustrations.
Now I have 13.

#14) Writing is my passion. I will be published. There are too many stories I have to tell and topics to explore for me to remain silent.
AMEN.

#15) I am such a daredevil. This has toned down significantly since I became a mother but I’ll do anything to get an adrenaline rush.
I can’t wait to leap from a plane in the Memphis sky, parachute through the Memphis air, and land on the Memphis ground.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Leah Messer did the dirty….

09 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Bullying, Guilty Pleasures, Television

Some of my choices in television are a constant source of ridicule amongst many of my friends.  Surely I get some sort of redemption for having never watched The Bachelor/The Bachelorette or any of the Real Housewives?  I stick to the MTV stuff regarding teen pregnancies and teenage motherhood and shows about delusional mothers living vicariously through their children in pageants and on the dance team from hell.  So it should really come as no surprise then that I carve out an hour every Tuesday night to watch Teen Mom 2.  Don’t hate.  You’re probably trying pass yourself off as cultured and sophisticated by watching Downton Abbey.  I’m just keeping it real over here.

Leah and Corey's marriage begins to unravel

Let’s summarize last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2 with a sentence about each of the ladies:  Jenelle checks herself into rehab for her marijuana dependency and anger issues [Good luck ever getting custody of Jace....one of the worst things you can do as a parent in the eyes of CPS is be proactive about your health]; Chelsea writes her first check and enrolls in GED classes [She deserves to be commended for her steps towards adulthood and setting educational goals to better herself]; Kailyn decides she still has feelings for the father of her child and invites him for a slumber party [Gurl, if the phrase 'aspiring rapper and clothing designer' describes his occupation....don't go there]; and Leah admits to Corey, her husband, that she cheated on him a week before their wedding.

Corey Simms, always a man of many words, doesn’t beat around the bush.  He plops down on the bed next to Leah as she’s texting and cuts right to the chase.  “Did you have sex with Robbie?”  I almost spit out my drink.  Despite the delicacy of the topic– and really it doesn’t warrant much sugarcoating– he could have asked if she’d ‘cheated’ on him and everyone would have gotten the message.  While I always admire those who are blunt and don’t mince words, please don’t ambush me with a sex bomb on national television.  Especially if you’re a teenager.  I felt so uncomfortable.

But Sloane, you may say.  This is a show about teen MOMS.  If they aren’t having sex then however are the babies created?  You’re missing my point entirely.  I don’t care what they do in the bedroom or who they do it with…in fact, I think it was fantastic when Kailyn explored her birth control options a few weeks ago.  It’s downright foolish to gloss over the fact that the ladies are getting horizontal.  Perhaps I’m old-fashioned but I could never admit to such a dastardly deed knowing my entire family was probably watching me and my confession would be forever immortalized on YouTube.  It makes me queasy just thinking about it– and that’s precisely why I refuse to do any sort of reality TV.  I’d much rather be a guest panelist on Fox News, thank you very much.  In light of recent events I think I am long overdue for another television appearance….but I digress.

When I see clips for shows such as Jersey Shore where everyone hops into bed with everyone else [and random strangers], I can’t but wonder how these people feel knowing their parents are watching.  Have they any dignity or self-respect?  Class?  Fear of consequences?  Anything?  Granted, the sex we’re exposed to in Teen Mom 2 is quite innocent by comparison but it still terrifies me to think of my father even hearing about that sort of thing.  Despite being a married woman three years past teenage status for the birth of each of my children, as far as I’m concerned, Steve Wilke thinks Adam and Tatum are the results of the Immaculate Conception parts two and three.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My objective was to be lighthearted and silly in the post but I want to address something serious:  bullying.  Being unfaithful is wrong any way you spin it and what Leah did was a mistake that I’m not condoning.  However, through the various social media outlets, I saw some terrible, hurtful things about this young  woman.  No matter what she did it does not warrant being told to ‘go kill yourself ‘ and calling her ugly names.  Even though she was in the wrong….she’s still a human being with feelings.  Her marriage is ending and she’s hurting.  Yes– she made the conscious decision to appear in a massive reality series– and by doing so she sacrificed a lot of her privacy and set herself up for nasty comments.  But what do people get from trashing her [or any of these girls who have struggled, such as Jenelle and Amber] and passing judgement?  Shame on them.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane