"You may be right, I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for!"
14 May 2013 Leave a Comment
in College, Da Real Homiez, Friends, Kids, University of Memphis
Upon hearing yesterday’s knock on the door my first thought was to ignore the unexpected company– no witnesses for Jehovah at this house. But alas, I did not. So glad to see one of my closest friends from college, Anne! We sat in my backyard and waited to observe the mating habits of white-tailed deer. 
We’ve come a long way from green beer!
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
13 May 2013 Leave a Comment
in * R. i. P. *, Atascadero, Death, Friends
“He who doesn’t fear death dies only once.” ~ Giovanni Falcone
Today I received the devastating news of Rick’s passing. A dear friend of mine from Atascadero, we met under the most unusual circumstances, but I’ll never forget my first impression. The times we spent together with little group were filled with so much laughter. I never thought I’d shed so many tears over somebody who made me so happy. Rick was a true gentleman with a heart of gold.
I took this at Terry’s in January. Rick acted bashful and said it had been years since anybody took his picture. He asked why I wanted to capture this image and I told him that I wanted to be able to put in my scrapbook to show my Memphis friends their 805 counterparts who got me through the worst time in my life. When he saw the picture he loved it and asked me to print a copy for his son, which I did. In retrospect, I felt compelled to take this picture, and I am so glad I did. That night he told us that we were amongst his best friends and he was so glad to know us.
Montana de Oro
Rick always said that Montana de Oro was the most beautiful place on earth and he wanted to take my friend and me before I went back to Tennessee. I’m so sorry we never got the chance to go. Trying to focus on the positive is exceedingly difficult right now, but I cannot help but smile when I think of our gift exchange. We’d give each other little trinkets whenever we saw each other. Despite constant crying as I write this entry I’m laughing as I recall my last ‘swag’ from Rick: a bottle of delicious wine from Paso Robles, a giant pink bathrobe– because it was the only article of women’s clothing available at the end of a garage sale– and he wanted to be sure he got me something, and [upon hearing me complain about my rough feet] a Ped-Egg….that formerly belonged to his sister. God love him.
I wholeheartedly believe that your soul leaves your body the second your heart stops beating. His soul flew into the heavens immediately and that comforts me. The earthly shell is no more, but nobody deserves that….
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
19 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment
in Atascadero, California, Friends, Meditation, Morro Bay, Nature, Ocean, Relaxation, Spirituality, Water
While the others worked on their respective projects I relished the opportunity to escape for some solo time. After pausing briefly to sit on a rock and take in the view, I attempted to meditate….but couldn’t get centered. For a glorious half hour I walked alone. Surrounded by nature I felt something that resembled peace.
West = Morro Bay / Pacific Ocean
Everywhere else = Paso Robles, Templeton, & Atascadero
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
18 Mar 2013 1 Comment
in Blogs, Cooper Young Festival, East Memphis, Events, Fail, Friends, High School, Hutchison, Memories, Memphis, Model UN, Overachiever, Sloane Tags: 2013, Blog Challenge, March, March Blog Challenge
• March Blog Challenge •
Day 17: Why and when did you start blogging?
I started blogging on LiveJournal when I was in high school. Since then I have used Xanga, Blogspot, and now Word Press. Three of my four previous blogs are still in existence. Yes, they are private. No, I’m not sharing the links here. Trust me, you aren’t missing much.
Hanging out with my friends before the Cooper Young Festival junior year…I’m in the black top with camo pants and my pumpkin purse.
[Memphis • 2002]
Reading entries I wrote ten or more years ago…wow. I fixated on inconsequential matters and acted like the moody, melodramatic teenager I was, complete with bad attitude and boy craziness. I hated everyone and they hated me. I ‘rebelled’ by acting tough [let's not mention the perfect grades, volunteering, and fear of any sort of from the girl who never drank, missed curfew, and made it through high school with one detention] and identifying with the counterculture. I was so misunderstood.. In a word: hilarious.
Because ever high school badass participates in Model UN.
[Nashville, TN • November 2011]
Though I don’t exactly remember why I created my first blog, I’m sure the reasons were nothing profound. Other than expressing my own torment [in the most dramatic ways] my early entries lack purpose or direction. Most likely I wanted something to show my online ‘friends.’ Because, you know, I had to resort to befriending strangers in cyberspace since I was too hardcore and misunderstood to acknowledge people in the real world.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
17 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment
in College, Friends, Holidays, Poetry, University of Memphis
Lads and lassies, it’s St. Patrick’s Day. Make shamrock cookies for the kids [or yourself]. Drink something festive, whether it’s a mint milkshake or green beer. Kiss an Irish person. Pinch lousy leprechauns who aren’t wearing the right color. Discover a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Or whatever it is your supposed to do to mark the occasion.
A special shout out to my very Irish mate, Anne! Thank you so much for your message. You should definitely go see my parents. ‘Mum’ would be delighted. Speaking of family, yours is beautiful. Once I’m away from these bloody wankers we’ll have to get together and read Yeats as we catch up while washing down a pint of Guinness.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. ~ Irish blessing
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
10 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment
in Birthdays, College, Da Real Homiez, Friends, JiLTED, Ole Miss, STiR, Travels
Happy birthday, Mandy!
One of my closest friends from college [and my Facebook wifey] celebrates her birthday today. I value her friendship, opinions, and our creative collaborations immensely. Can we please launch JiLTED within a month of my touchdown below the Mason Dixon line?!
The fact that we went six years without seeing each other before our reunion this Christmas should be criminal. Never again! But it’s pretty incredible we were even able to pull off a rendezvous….up until the last minute I didn’t think I’d be able to spend the holiday with my daughter. And she just so happened to be driving through Memphis en route to Jackson, MS while I was home. Don’t you just love those serendipitous moments when all the stars align? It meant the world to me that she got to meet Tatum. Next time she’ll meet Adam as well.
Bowling For Soup’s song “1985″ was my first choice for the musical selection, considering that’s the year of our birth. But then I remembered how much fun we had with this song during our freshman year at Ole Miss and had a change of heart. Mandy’s recommendations for new material I’d like are always spot on– she has impeccable taste in music.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
11 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in * R. i. P. *, Angels, Friends, Heartbreak, Kids
*~Ashlyn Michele Fancher Pena~*
12/27/10 – 3/8/12
Words fail me. Instead I stare at her sweet little face and sob. I cannot yet process that I’ll never again be able to give Ashlyn a hug, that her precious smile will only be in photographs. Although I am profoundly affected by the loss of a young life– and have written about the unimaginable grief of friends here– this is the first time it has happened to a child I know and love. I’m completely and utterly devastated.
I cannot even imagine how Chrissy, her mother, must feel. A horrific accident with their television claimed the life of her second child and only daughter. Poor, poor Chrissy. May God be with her.
Ashlyn and her brother, Xander, transformed the women’s shelter from a house to a home. Adam adored his new playmates and doted on ‘Princess’ as he called Ashlyn. Literally: “Does Princess need a bottle?” “Is my little sister going to be like Princess?” Being able to cuddle a precious baby girl helped build my anticipation for meeting Tatum. I loved the times where Chrissy had to swap out laundry or grab something from her car and I’d watch the kids.
How will Xander process? He won’t understand but he’ll certainly notice his sister’s absence. Will he remember her? He’s barely 2. I just can’t believe she isn’t with him physically anymore. Adam has a very limited comprehension of death and I’m not going to share this with him, not yet. But when he sees Chrissy, and especially when he sees Xander, he’ll demand to know where Princess is….
I’m so grateful that Chrissy and the kids stopped by the church two days before I got my vehicle. They gave me a ride back to my apartment as we talked about getting everyone together for Adam’s birthday. Xander was chatty while Ashlyn slept. I caught a glimpse of her as I opened the door– she was sound asleep and looked so peaceful. Just like a little angel. And now she is one.
Rest in peace, sweet Princess Ashlyn. <3
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
29 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Blessings, Faith, Friends, Miracles
What a poignant tribute to the life of a little angel, Grayson. Please take a few moments to watch this touching video, created by a friend of the Walker family, Jose Garcia. I shared their inspiring story of faith two weeks ago….they embody everything it means to be a family bolstered by spirituality.
Miss Powers
On the morning of February 21st, shortly before I went to the hospital, the anxiety set in for the first time. My mind started considering the myriad of things that can go wrong during a birth and I felt extremely apprehensive. Maris called to give me a five minute advanced notice for her arrival. I looked at my Facebook one last time….and Britney shared with me that she had just discovered she was pregnant again. Such a blessing! Instantly all of my fears were assuaged and replaced with an overwhelming sense of calm and peace. Her news filled my heart with joy and that was the feeling that carried me all the way to the hospital.
Britney has been an unwavering sense of support for my family throughout this ordeal. It is an honor to call her a friend. I cannot think of a person more deserving of motherhood. Her precious angel, Jeslyn Olivia, is definitely at work here. =)
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
17 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
Baby Andrew was born 2/15/12 at The Med in Memphis, TN weighing 7lbs5oz.
Congratulations to Steven and Kristina Sikora on the birth of their second child, Andrew Michael! He joins big brother, Brandon, who is four. Mother and baby are doing well and plan to return home this afternoon. What I wouldn’t give to be able to magically teleport to that neck of the woods so I could meet him and catch up with his mama. It goes without saying Miss Tiffany would be present at this gathering as well.
4 days until Tatum’s arrival. <3
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
21 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Brandi, California, Facebook, Family, Friends, Pregnancy, Single mama, Sloane, Support
Everyone needs a Brandi in their life.
Nobody disputes the fact that I’ve earned the right to be overly cautious and paranoid given everything that’s happened over the course of the past few months. So many people would love to see me break, whether it’s sinking into a depression so deep I can barely function or getting so infuriated I snap. Sorry to disappoint….but I refuse to give anyone that satisfaction. I have my moments– and my emotions range the gamut– yet my focus remains on my children. It is my job to protect my kids from the evil in this world. For so long when asked my parenting goals and objectives I offered an eloquent response about providing them with guidance, love, and support while setting an example yet stressing the importance of carving their own path in this world. Never once did I say ‘keeping them safe’ because that’s so elementary it’s just implied. Wrong. Protecting your children from a wide variety of terrible things and people [pure evil is everywhere] is a 24/7 job.
As delighted as I am to give birth, I’m extremely apprehensive. I’ll be a sitting duck at Twin Cities. All I’m going to say regarding that is my attorney and I have a contingency plan. Nobody is going to rain on my birthing parade. Twin Cities looks to be a great hospital and I’ve been very pleased with the care I’ve received there [both in the ER and Labor & Delivery]. Brandi and I are going to tour the maternity ward soon and I know she’ll be best support person ever while Tatum’s making her debut.
Speaking of Brandi– I am so privileged to have a friend like her. Last night she came over with Raven [her daughter] and gave me a much needed haircut and a fabulous pedicure. How nice it will be to finally wear my hair down now that it’s all one length. It looks kind of funky because it’s still two different colors but I’m not going to use any hardcore chemicals to strip the black from it until after Tatum’s born. Tonight she cooked a delicious Mexican feast so I went over there for dinner. Overall I’m in much better spirits.
Brandi and I are both quite sad that her sworn statement wasn’t given the proper reverence in court [meaning it was completely ignored] and I never got to be a witness. My favorite government agency probably worries I’ll incriminate them, but they really shouldn’t. All I’d do is plead the fif like Mr. Chappelle in the video below.
Huge thanks to my incredible mama who generously offered to pay my cable bill for the month so I could have some extra dinero to spend on goodies for Tatum. I can’t wait to post photos of their room once I finish it! It’s virtually complete, just waiting on some finishing touches and pictures. Be sure and check my Facebook for lots of precious old photos of Adam. I added dozens from his birth and the first few months of his life. Remember that archaic social network called MySpace? Once upon a time that was all I used so there were lots of images that the Facebook world has not seen.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
