MBC13

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 13: Do you have regret?

Here’s an actual answer of mine from a MySpace survey several years ago:. “‘No regrets’ summarizes my philosophy on life. Do I make mistakes? Of course. Are there things I would have done differently? Oh yeah. But life is too short to dwell on what could have been. There’s no use crying over spilled milk. Mop it up and move on. Instead of regret view everything as a learning experience. Objectively analyze the situation. Be prepared to face some harsh truths. What were the consequences? Use this knowledge to prevent you from similar outcomes in the future. It’s much easier said than done– and most of us make the same mistakes multiple times before we actually learn– but I try valiantly to have no regrets.

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My first apartment [with Megan!] was such a fun time.

Two regrets of mine both involve travel.

In 2007 there was an opportunity for English majors at the University of Memphis to spend six weeks in Romania helping local students learn the English language. Cultural immersion, including staying with a host family, going on field trips, and taking classes on language and history, was the dual focus. It was perfect for me– community service, culture, school credit, doing something I loved and could do well, interesting classes, being in an area of the world where I’ve always wanted to travel, and the experience of studying abroad without the commitment of a full semester. Yet I inexplicably watched the deadline come and go without ever submitting my paperwork.

The next winter I declined an offer to fly to New York to visit my dear friend, Sean Krause. He understood my hesitations about traveling with a 9-month-old Adam [and respected the fact that leaving him during his first Christmas season wasn't an option] and we both agreed to take a rain check. Tragically, we never got that chance because he passed away in February.

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Name checked by Greta

So when I got an invitation to fly to NYC and appear on Fox News the following year…I didn’t hesitate. Adam would enjoy a week of being spoiled by his grandparents while I pursued a once in a lifetime opportunity. As I sat in the green room giggling from nerves I thought of Sean, my mentor, and his appearance on Greta Van Susteren’s show. As I wandered aimlessly around the city streets, soaking up my first time in the Big Apple, I knew Sean would be so proud. As I experienced a satsang with Alan Gompers [a personal hero of mine] in Greenwich Village, a transformative experience, I thanked Sean for his help getting me here.”

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The last thing I saw before I walked on stage and met the life studio audience

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“So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It’s always the last day of summer and I’ve been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I’ll grant you I’ve had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there’s almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.” ~ Blow

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

27 years ago something awesome happened

…Megan Childers was born!

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Happy birthday to my favorite roomie and one of my oldest friends. I hope you have a wonderful celebration. You are loved and missed– what a sweet day it will be when we’re reunited. Tell all of your partygoers to take a moment at the festivities to think of our little family and send us some good vibes. And stay away from exploding stoves and people who refer to themselves as Transformers characters. ;)

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Obviously this photo doesn’t come from the present year. It’s a throwback to 2010. But it worked with the Mardi Gras theme on Smilebox.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

I don’t feel strong

“The strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver

She's the spitting image of her brother.

My heart can only take so much.  I try my best to refrain from speaking of Will on this blog.  Respect for my children, reluctance to express any thoughts about him for fear my words will be misconstrued in a way that negatively affects my situation, recognizing that I’m not the only person impacted by his actions….there are countless reasons for this decision.  But when I heard that he did not attend his visit with Adam this week I felt as though I’d been sucker punched.  I cried until there were no more tears left.  Especially with my absence, I relied on these visits to remind Adam that his parents did not just disappear.  I’m so torn up I can’t even discuss all of the awful possibilities that went through my head or talk about it anymore at all.  Please pray for my little boy.

Bonus points for having my favorite roomie and my favorite daughter in one picture.

Thank you, Megan, for coming by to see us this evening.  It’s been over a year since I last saw her in person so it was particularly meaningful getting to spend some quality time catching up on things.  Megan and I have been close since junior high– I can count the number of friendships I have from that era on one hand– and it’s so comforting to be around people who knew you when your biggest worry in life was being grounded from a group movie date.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Megapalooza and THE Sunburst Queen!

The birthday girl

Happy birthday to my favorite roomie, Megan.  She’s having a blast at Mardi Gras right now [not even five minutes ago did this shot appear on my news feed] so here’s to her celebration.  Have fun and be safe.  Laissez les bons temps rouler!  ;)

Bow down to royalty

Meanwhile, in other Southern news….Miss Skylar won the SUNBURST QUEEN title today in Memphis!  It was her very first pageant and she took home the title.  Mommy Ashley is thrilled and The Queen looks pretty excited too.  Although pageants are not my cup of tea, I wish this dynamic duo the best of luck in state finals.

 

2 days until Tatum’s arrival.  <3

 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Miss Skylar <3

Skylar came into the world at 3:15 am on 8/28/11 weighing 7lbs10oz in Memphis

Congratulations are in order for my gorgeous friend [it's only fitting I use one of her favorite words], Ashley Weatherly, on the arrival of her beautiful baby girl!  Ashley loves and is amazing with children so motherhood is only a natural progression for her.  Best wishes to Ashley and Kevin!

Ashley is the first of my friends in my ‘Campus View Crew’ to have a baby.  While I am ecstatic for her…..it doesn’t negate the fact that I really want to see Megan Childers procreate.  When is that going to happen?!?!  ;)

Speaking of babies, Jenna Abernathy found out yesterday she is having a girl!  I may just have to try the ring test she told me about later tonight.

My gut feeling says we’ll be welcoming Andrew Dylan into the world but we’re all hoping for a little sister.  Of course– just as we were with Adam– Will and I want a happy and healthy baby and that is truly what matters….but since we already have the precious love of our firstborn boy, it’s time to get some estrogen in our little family.  Not to mention Adam desperately wants a sister and we have two young cousins in the family that will be under the age of two when The Wee One arrives.  Between their clothes and surplus car seats, that would save us a TON of money.  So basically it’s the most frugal decision to have a girl!  As if we have any choice in the matter, ha.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Major developments with the West Memphis 3

What will happen tomorrow?

Megan Childers set the wheels in motion when she shared this headline with me:   Judge sets unexpected hearing in Jonesboro for West Memphis 3.  Shortly thereafter Brittany Cole posted this development from WREG in Memphis:  West Memphis 3: Two, Including Echols, Will Be Released Friday.  Local sources confirmed it too:  Speculation mounts on freedom for West Memphis 3 UPDATE.

While I knew critical events were going to unfold in the near future, I had no idea it would be this soon.  Megan, Brittany, and I could barely contain our enthusiasm during our exchanges on Facebook today….but I must resist the urge to feed into the frenzy and speculate preemptively.  I’ll wait until tomorrow before I speak any further.  You know I’ll be glued to the television around 9 am Pacific time– for once in my life I am glad I am a ‘homemaker’ working from my computer so I can see this in real time!

However, as Megan mentioned, there absolutely must be some sort of safeguard in place so the state can’t be sued.  Perhaps that explains why there is a guilty verdict when the three steadfastly maintained their innocence for almost twenty years.  And if Damien is rumored to be released, will it be Jason or Jessie that is not, and why?  On a final note, a quote from my friend from Neshoba, Bruce Ralston:  “They don’t let convicted felons out of jail just because they admit guilt. As far as I know, the only two ways that convicted felons can be freed ahead of schedule are: (A) pardon/clemency; or (B) by having the charges thrown out, which means that the verdict of guilty is overturned completely. There is such a thing as getting a new trial and being released in the interim, and there have been sentences have been reduced to time served for one reason or another, but this doesn’t smell like either of those situations.”  Food for thought.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

San Luis Obispo

I could get used to seeing this….

‘Insanity’ is the understatement of the 21st century for describing this past week.  Let me attempt to make this convoluted story as clear and concise as possible:

- The three of us are moving to San Luis Obispo, California.  We’re leaving tonight on the train.  After spending most of the day tomorrow in Chicago we’ll head to the west coast on a direct ride.

- As unexpected as this move was for me….it was never out of the realm of possibility, having been something we’ve considered for months.  Will and I did not make this decision lightly and we took into account the potentially negative effects this could have on Adam.  Thankfully he has tons of cousins and a loving family to help ease the transition!

- While I will discuss the reasons for our move in greater detail later, suffice it to say money issues and the job market served as our impetus for the relocation.  I’m still expoloring employment opportunities in my new home but Will has a job waiting on him as soon as we arrive.  Now that I have a much better understanding of myself and the way my mind works, I am confident that graduate school is within my reach.  Obviously I’m not going to make any major decisions until we settle– but it’s nice to know there’s a good college in town;)

- I’ve already found a spiritual home in our new locale.  As heartbreaking as it will be to leave Neshoba, immersing myself in this new community will help me navigate my surroundings and get my feet on the ground.

- TO EVERYONE:  Because this is the first time I’ve been able to sit in front of a computer, privately, for any length of time…..I am still sifting through my 50+ messages on Facebook.  I will respond to each and every one of you.  Your patience is greatly appreciated.

- Leaving my best friends is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  Keep in mind I was born and raised in Memphis and with the exception of a year in Oxford [only an hour away in Mississippi] for college, I’ve never left this place.  Progressive as I may be– I am a southern girl through and through.  I love the wonderful city of Memphis and it pains me to leave.  I trust my nearest and dearest to hold down the fort for me while I am away.  Maris McLoskey, Danielle Dunn, Seth Robertson, Megan Childers, Liv Blow, Ashley Hisky, and Neshoba Unitarian Universalist Church…..there are no words to describe how much I will miss you.  Love to each and every one of my friends, even those I did not list.

- The next time I update we’ll be in California!!  Until then…..

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane