MBC3

07 Mar 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Admiration, Bullying, Faith, Humor, Inspiration, Kids, Lyrics, Motherhood, Music, Neshoba, Parenting, Travels

• March Blog Challenge •
Day 3: What Makes You Happy?

Generally speaking the things that make me happy can be categorized into seven themes: children, good people, helping others, travel, humor, the little things, and songs.

☻ Children ☻
Adam and Tatum bring me the greatest joy I’ve ever known– motherhood. The rewards are infinite. My son and daughter complete me.
Yet even before I was a parent I’ve always loved kids. Whether it’s teaching the K-2nd grade students at Neshoba, tutoring, babysitting, or anything in between, I do what I can to be around children as often as possible. Few things are more gratifying than watching a young person learn and develop as they blossom before you. Their innocence, enthusiasm, wide-eyed curiosity, straightforward logic, frequent questions, and ‘saying the darnedest things’ moments are endearing.

Always look for an excuse to unleash your inner child.

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☻ Good People ☻

Examples of the tragic consequences of bullying make headlines with alarming frequency. Social media exacerbates the epidemic, contributing to bad behavior from all age levels. People can be so cruel. So it’s always refreshing to see stories of folks behaving nicely. Like the homeless man who returned a woman’s wedding ring– and her subsequent fundraising to reward him for his kindness. Or the kids who stood on the sidelines cheered on their physically handicapped classmate as he finished a race. The airline employees who helped a passenger get to his dying mother’s bedside. Anyone and everyone who does something out of the kindness of their heart…doing something because it’s the right thing to do without expecting anything in return. Those who stand up for others and speak out against injustice.
Instances such as these occur on a daily basis. Wouldn’t it be nice if the media covered more of those to counteract the negativity that saturates our news? Let’s inspire and encourage.

☻ Helping Others ☻

If not for my desire to help others as much and as frequently as I am able then my ability to weather the storm would be severely compromised. Simply put, helping you helps me, and the mutual benefit makes me happy. I’m thrilled to make another person feel good about themselves or make their lives easier. Even the smallest actions, such as smiling at a stranger on the street, can have a big impact on their day.

☻ Travel ☻

I don’t care where I’m going, how I get there, who I’m with, or what we’re doing. If the opportunity to travel arises…my bags are packed and I’m out the door. Some of the best trips don’t involve any packing or even any bags. I live for those spur of the moment, impromptu road trips. Even though I have a passport and have traveled extensively– driving across the bridge into West Memphis to eat at Waffle House and cruise through an unfamiliar neighborhood makes for a ‘foreign’ experience. A wrong turn could easily be a source of frustration– or one hell of a story! Roll with the punches and make the most of it. And take lots of pictures.
[[Obviously traveling with the wee ones requires coordination and advanced planning, but it's still possible to incorporate an element of adventure and a carefree spirit.]]

The British Virgin Islands for Jen & Todd’s 2005 wedding is one none of us will ever forget.

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☻ Little Things ☻
It truly doesn’t take much to make me happy.
Taking baths. Meeting somebody with whom you really ‘click.’ Finding imperative items for a fraction of the price at a thrift store. Meaningful conversations. Seeing the ocean. A delicious meal. Exciting games in Words With Friends. Stumbling upon unique rocks. Talking to Maris. <3

☻ Humor ☻
Life is funny. Nothing is ever so bad that you can't laugh. Virtually every situation contains humor. Laugh freely and laugh often. It's okay to be politically incorrect.

Cheer up, emo dude, top center.

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☻ Songs ☻
I could be listening to the eulogy mid-funeral, hear one of these, and be in a great mood. Not that I anticipate that scenario ever happening or anything. ;)
DISCLAIMER: Some of these ditties contain lyrics that are obscene at best and downright vulgar at worst. You have been sufficiently warned that these are NSFW or little ears, so listen at your own risk. The video/song below is squeaky clean.

“Scotty Doesn’t Know” – Lustra
“Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta” – Geto Boys
“Peggy Sue” – Buddy Holly
“3.14″ – Bloodhound Gang
“Holiday” – Weezer
“Scene For Dummies” – Hollywood Undead
“Mr. Right” – Mickey Avalon
“Black Jesus” – Everlast
“Goin Steady” – Rocko
“No Hands” – Waka Flocka Flame ft. Wale & Roscoe Dash
“Go DJ” – Lil Wayne
“Still Fly” – Big Tymers
“Whatever You Like” – TI
“Army” – Ben Folds Five
“Volcano” – Presidents of the United States of America

High school memories. Hey Alg!

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Tila Tequila

07 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Bullying, Celebrity, Drugs

Tila Nguyen (a.k.a. 'Tila Tequila')

Many of you reading this probably assume Tila Tequila is a fancy cocktail.  She’s a bit hard to categorize…but I’ll go with reality star [remember the infamous A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila - MTV's dating show where the bisexual Ms. Tequila had male and female contestants vying for her affection] slash ‘video’ star [please don't make me elaborate] slash musician [I'm not ashamed to admit I crank one of her songs but it's too obscene to tell you the title or most of the lyrics so I'll keep the specifics to myself] slash model [personally I think she's gorgeous so she definitely deserves that title].

Last week, Tila was hospitalized with a brain aneurysm.  Police responded to an attempted suicide call by her male roommate where it was discovered she overdosed on pills.  She’s only 30 years old.  I remember reading in an interview that she first tried heroin when she was 11.  That’s pitiful.  Being a slave to drugs for two thirds of your life, I can’t even imagine.

So Tila’s a train wreck.  Her antics that have landed her in the tabloids these past few years confirm this.  However, this is a serious medical condition!  She’s lucky to be alive and it doesn’t sound like she’s out of the clear yet.  As I was scrolling through the comments on another site covering this story, I was horrified at the vitriol.  Newsflash:  just because you [appear to be in the eyes of some] promiscuous, a drug addict, ditzy, or any other unflattering description does not mean you “deserve” bad things happening to you or that you should “just die already.” 

Those people should be ashamed of themselves.  Tila’s life is not worth more or less than anyone else’s.  How people can be so cruel is beyond me.  I know that I’ll be saying a prayer for Tila tonight.  Here’s to hoping she makes a full recovery and gets her life on track.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Broken hearts and the organization that shall not be named

28 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Adam, Anger, Bullying, Child 'Protective' Services - CPS, Frustration, Grief, Tatum, Upset

Adam loves his bike despite the fact that it's entirely too big for him.

Last night my heart broke all over again.  How I even have a heart left to break is beyond me.  I know I must forge ahead and be strong for my children, yet it’s so unbelievably difficult knowing what’s in store these next few weeks.  Heartbroken doesn’t even scratch the surface of the reality that I’ll be boarding a plane and flying 2000 miles away from my newborn daughter to return to California where I’m allowed to visit my son only once a week with a supervisor.  Never in a million years would I even consider relocating until Adam was freed from this depraved system.  Never in a million years would I endanger Tatum’s safety by bringing her out west.  Never in a million years would I ever have expected my ‘marriage revival’ to go so horribly astray.

When Adam called me last night he raved about his new bike.  Due to a misunderstanding at the women’s shelter [who generously gifted Adam with a bike], he received the wrong one, which is way too large for him.  His cousin slapped some training wheels on it and it’s working for the time being.  Adam also expressed his joy at his upcoming fourth birthday and the party we were planning.  “It’s just for me?!” he asked.  Before I could even detect a slight note of jealousy for his new sibling the next words out of his mouth were “Will my sister be at my birthday party?!  She’s so beautiful.”  I choked back the tears.  He heard Tatum hiccuping and got really excited, asking tons of questions.  On the phone it warmed my heart.  As soon as we hung up I bawled my eyes out as I clutched Tatum to my chest.  Once the tears subsided I was left with nothing but my anger.

Tatum truly is a gift from above.  Discovering the tiny life within my belly was….unexpected…though I never considered for a second any alternative except giving Adam a sibling.  Now I know why I gave birth in February 2012– so this dark maze I walk can be illuminated until I find the exit.  It cannot come soon enough.

I like to think she's dreaming of her big brother...

People have expressed their sadness, anger, grief, frustration, and concern for me.  While I appreciate their commiserations, this isn’t about me, and never has been.  I use my internet space to speak from my perspective but don’t be fooled:  I do this only to distract myself from the reality of Adam’s situation.  My poor, poor child.  His heartbreak, confusion, loneliness….I can’t.  I just can’t.  The thoughts of what this has done to him consume me.  Writing about it would force me to look at the words and be confronted with an ugly reality I can’t even begin to face.

Out of respect for my mother I’m not going to speak of an appalling incident that happened this afternoon.  Trust me– this is something that needs to be heard– but I’m not the one who makes that decision.  I don’t mention this to pique anyone’s curiosity for something that won’t be revealed.  I do reference this as a reminder that deplorable behavior does not go unnoticed.

How I react to this ordeal is entirely my decision….or how I react publicly and on this blog, at the very least.  From this point forward I refuse to mention CPS.  They won’t be called out by name or called out at all for that matter.  It’s enough that they’ve ruined countless lives these past few months and I’m not giving them anymore of my time.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Leah Messer did the dirty….

09 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Bullying, Guilty Pleasures, Television

Some of my choices in television are a constant source of ridicule amongst many of my friends.  Surely I get some sort of redemption for having never watched The Bachelor/The Bachelorette or any of the Real Housewives?  I stick to the MTV stuff regarding teen pregnancies and teenage motherhood and shows about delusional mothers living vicariously through their children in pageants and on the dance team from hell.  So it should really come as no surprise then that I carve out an hour every Tuesday night to watch Teen Mom 2.  Don’t hate.  You’re probably trying pass yourself off as cultured and sophisticated by watching Downton Abbey.  I’m just keeping it real over here.

Leah and Corey's marriage begins to unravel

Let’s summarize last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2 with a sentence about each of the ladies:  Jenelle checks herself into rehab for her marijuana dependency and anger issues [Good luck ever getting custody of Jace....one of the worst things you can do as a parent in the eyes of CPS is be proactive about your health]; Chelsea writes her first check and enrolls in GED classes [She deserves to be commended for her steps towards adulthood and setting educational goals to better herself]; Kailyn decides she still has feelings for the father of her child and invites him for a slumber party [Gurl, if the phrase 'aspiring rapper and clothing designer' describes his occupation....don't go there]; and Leah admits to Corey, her husband, that she cheated on him a week before their wedding.

Corey Simms, always a man of many words, doesn’t beat around the bush.  He plops down on the bed next to Leah as she’s texting and cuts right to the chase.  “Did you have sex with Robbie?”  I almost spit out my drink.  Despite the delicacy of the topic– and really it doesn’t warrant much sugarcoating– he could have asked if she’d ‘cheated’ on him and everyone would have gotten the message.  While I always admire those who are blunt and don’t mince words, please don’t ambush me with a sex bomb on national television.  Especially if you’re a teenager.  I felt so uncomfortable.

But Sloane, you may say.  This is a show about teen MOMS.  If they aren’t having sex then however are the babies created?  You’re missing my point entirely.  I don’t care what they do in the bedroom or who they do it with…in fact, I think it was fantastic when Kailyn explored her birth control options a few weeks ago.  It’s downright foolish to gloss over the fact that the ladies are getting horizontal.  Perhaps I’m old-fashioned but I could never admit to such a dastardly deed knowing my entire family was probably watching me and my confession would be forever immortalized on YouTube.  It makes me queasy just thinking about it– and that’s precisely why I refuse to do any sort of reality TV.  I’d much rather be a guest panelist on Fox News, thank you very much.  In light of recent events I think I am long overdue for another television appearance….but I digress.

When I see clips for shows such as Jersey Shore where everyone hops into bed with everyone else [and random strangers], I can’t but wonder how these people feel knowing their parents are watching.  Have they any dignity or self-respect?  Class?  Fear of consequences?  Anything?  Granted, the sex we’re exposed to in Teen Mom 2 is quite innocent by comparison but it still terrifies me to think of my father even hearing about that sort of thing.  Despite being a married woman three years past teenage status for the birth of each of my children, as far as I’m concerned, Steve Wilke thinks Adam and Tatum are the results of the Immaculate Conception parts two and three.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My objective was to be lighthearted and silly in the post but I want to address something serious:  bullying.  Being unfaithful is wrong any way you spin it and what Leah did was a mistake that I’m not condoning.  However, through the various social media outlets, I saw some terrible, hurtful things about this young  woman.  No matter what she did it does not warrant being told to ‘go kill yourself ‘ and calling her ugly names.  Even though she was in the wrong….she’s still a human being with feelings.  Her marriage is ending and she’s hurting.  Yes– she made the conscious decision to appear in a massive reality series– and by doing so she sacrificed a lot of her privacy and set herself up for nasty comments.  But what do people get from trashing her [or any of these girls who have struggled, such as Jenelle and Amber] and passing judgement?  Shame on them.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane