Tucked underneath the keyboard at my desk this morning I saw a notice from the post office saying they missed me over the weekend. Apparently they required my autograph before I could collect an item from the Department of Social Services. Of all the strictly confidential correspondence of a highly sensitive nature that’s come to me in the mail….I’ve never once had to sign anything. Within a half hour of me calling to inquire I had the envelope in my hands.
Lo and behold, it was acknowledgement of Adam’s Native American ancestry. No wonder CPS acted with such haste! Both of my children have a direct connection to The Blackfeet Nation– and I absolutely plan on registering them appropriately. In addition to impact this could have on our current case, I’m excited to explore the opportunities associated with this new development. How cool is it to think that my kids are a part of such an incredible culture? Even if we’re not hopping on the next flight to Montana to set up shop on the reservation it is imperative to me that Adam and Tatum learn about their Indian heritage and have the appropriate reverence for its traditions and culture.
One thing that shocked me, however, was the complete lack of information on the forms. With the exception of Adam’s maternal great-grandfather [the relative in question] I have never seen so many ‘unknowns.’ Because I knew full or partial information for virtually every unknown in the packet, I immediately called the clerk who handles Native American records at the courthouse. We spent approximately 20 minutes on the phone meticulously reviewing Will’s relatives, person by person, until she had ample information to get the materials in the mail by the end of the day. Although I offered to phone Will’s maternal grandmother myself to fill in the some of the blanks, she said that what I gave her should be sufficient and she would call me if that wasn’t the case. I didn’t hear from her again so I’m hoping when I follow up tomorrow everything went in the mail without a hitch.
The irony was not lost on me that I’m providing names, locations, and birth/death dates for family that’s technically not even mine. Granted they will always be linked to my children– regardless of my marital status with Will– but wouldn’t they ask him these questions first? When I mentioned this to my representative she told me that although she had made initial contact with Will that he didn’t know very much….and never got back with her as he said he would.
I’ve tried valiantly to remove my estranged husband from my blogging equation as much as possible but I just can’t stay silent about this. Knowing how crucial this could be to our legal proceedings, why isn’t obtaining family information one of Will’s first priorities? ADAM is the one who stands to gain from this new development and probably even Will too! I’ve long since abandoned any hope of even remotely understanding his behavior and thought process….but this was a slap in the face. Does anyone have my child’s best interests at heart? Because I am a parent a small part of me will always feel the sting of disappointment–because I know my child deserves better– when Adam is let down by the adults he trusts. Even if it’s not an outright betrayal, indifference and failure to cooperate can be equally damaging.
Thanks to a cancellation at the last minute I got to see a nurse practitioner at my OB/GYN’s office. My homework for tomorrow is to get Tatum’s approximate weight from the ultrasound [since it was an elective procedure the records were not faxed to my doctor] and report back to them. Based on belly measurements she’s growing rapidly, but my weight was the same as it was for the last visit. Oh, and her head is pushing firmly into my pelvis. What a delightful feeling to be my consistent companion for the next six weeks.
THERE WILL BE NO BABY SHOWER. I know I’ve vacillated back and forth with this concept and tossed out at least four dates….but it’s just more trouble than it’s worth and I’m not adding to my stress. If you wish to give a welcome to the world present for Tatum, the most helpful item would be a Target or Walmart gift card, though I did create a registry at Target. It’s not comprehensive [and is missing some basic necessities which will come from other sources] so feel free to peruse that if you’re not the gift card type. Please don’t feel obligated to get me anything– your love, support, and friendship is more than adequate– and trust me when I assure you that I understand how tight money is for everyone right now.
To end on a positive note, transportation should be within my grasp soon! My phenomenal parents are helping me find a safe and reliable vehicle for my little family. So maybe it’s not a Lotus Elise but that’s not particularly family friendly anyway.
Although I was fully prepared to purchase and assume insurance payments for a car [and I'll still be contributing significantly to the costs]– there was just no possible way it could happen before Tatum’s arrival– and now it looks as though the three of us will come home from the hospital to our cozy little apartment with our chariot in the allotted space. Lousy as I feel praying about a material item, I hope and pray for a four-wheeled friend, as it would make our lives exponentially easier.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,