Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight FOUND ALIVE!

06 May 2013 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Abductions, Angels, Blessings, Crime, Evil, Faith, Holly Bobo, Inspiration, Lauren Spierer, Michaela Joy Garecht, Miracles, Prayers, The Missing

Miracales happen.  Not one, not two, but three women held for almost a decade were freed from captivity.  Never lose hope!

Rarely do we see happy endings for individuals who have been abducted.  Too often their lives are tragically stolen, which is heartbreaking and cruel.  Yet it is a different sort of heartbreak and cruelty for those who are missing with their fates unknown.  Media attention fades.  Cases [I despise using such an impersonal, clinical term for a human being who has disappeared] grow cold.  Those who have information– frustratingly and incomprehensibly– refuse to come forward.  New developments emerged this week regarding the abduction of  fellow Tennessee resident Holly Bobo.  Reading the impassioned pleas of Lauren Spierer’s parents takes my breath away.  The agony of not knowing….

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My friend, Sharon Murch, needs to find her daughter.  Michaela Joy Garecht was the victim of a witnessed stranger abduction in Hayward, CA in 1988.  Dear Michaela, you are missed and you are loved.  Your mother has never stopped looking for you.  She never will stop.  Michaela, know that there is hope!  I’ve never even met you and you’re always on my mind.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Lala

24 Mar 2013 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Angels, Family, Grief

Let no one weep for me, or celebrate my funeral with mourning; for I still live, as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men.” ~ Quintus Ennuis

Much like MeMae, our beloved Lottie epitomized all that is good in this world. A true class act. Truly irreplaceable. Lala [as Adam called her] left us not even a month after Tatum was born….and I am forever grateful she got to meet Tatum the day before I left for California.

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With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Ashlyn’s Angel Year

08 Mar 2013 1 Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Angels, California, Changes, Death, Grief, Heartbreak, Moving, Women

“We can’t know why the lily has so brief a time to bloom in the warmth of sunlight’s kiss upon its face before it folds into its fragrance and bids the world good night to rest its beauty in a gentler place. But we can know that nothing that is loved is ever lost and no one who has touched a heart can really pass away because some beauty lingers on in each memory of which they’ve been a part.” ~ Ellen Brenneman

*~*Ashlyn Michele Fancher-Pena*~*
12/27/10 – 3/8/12

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:: Fly high, baby girl. <3 ::

A year ago today a very special princess got her wings. She was only 14 months old when she became an angel. That’s Tatum’s age next month….

Oh, how I ache for Chrissy and Tim. They lost their precious daughter. Why? It’s so cruel and unfair. All of our lives were irrevocably changed.

I will forever cherish the moments I spent holding Ashlyn in my arms as I felt Tatum kicking in my belly. Those chubby cheeks and that sweet smile stay with me. My mind still cannot comprehend this tragedy. And I desperately need to start that process.

    Rest in peace, Ashlyn. <3
    You are loved, missed, and never forgotten

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

“The foundation I’m built on is unshakable faith”

10 Nov 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Angels, Faith, Heroes, Inspiration

I cannot stop reading these words.  How I wish I could say “the foundation I’m built on is unshakable faith.”  The events of this year solidified the fact that my foundation is built on sand.  My faith is shaky at best.  But this is not the time to analyze my existential crisis.  Despite my spiritual purgatory, I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to Will Hart.  We never once spoke of religion…but he didn’t have to say a word to forever impact my personal spirituality.  Never once did he falter in his faith as Ava fought– and ultimately lost– the battle for her life.  He’s such an inspiration to me and I am deeply saddened that I did not know him better.

Will’s memorial service was this morning at Faith Baptist Church.  His parents and brother put together a poignant video tribute to him that I hope makes its way to YouTube if it’s not there already.  It comforts me knowing that he no longer suffers from an irreparably broken heart because he’s reunited with his little girl.

My heart aches for the Hart family.  In a cruel twist of fate Will’s girlfriend lost her father in a motorcycle accident on the same day.  I cannot even imagine her pain.  A visit with Tasha, Ava’s Mommy, is one of my highest priorities before I return to California.  Shortly before Ava’s passing she reflected on how far we’d come since we met a year ago….truer words were never spoken.  I love you, Tasha.

Please keep these individuals– and all who have hearts heavy with grief– in your thoughts and prayers.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Back in business

01 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Adam, Angels, Boo, California, Child 'Protective' Services - CPS, HC, Relationships

My son's 4th birthday party

March ended 38 minutes ago.  Good riddance.

I left my daughter– not even a month old– in Tennessee with my parents to return to California alone.  Adam turned four years old.  Thanks to the generosity of ‘the department’ I was allowed to attend his birthday party at Round Table Pizza in Atascadero.  Ashlyn passed away followed by our sweet Lottie.  Friends were made.  Friends were lost.  A new attorney was obtained.  I miss my kids.  I miss my kids.  I miss my kids.  Did I mention I miss my kids?

Life as a whole right now is agonizing….the depression cripples me.  I can barely function.  Yet I have one area where I am immensely happy.  And I deserve this happiness.  ‘Boo’ and I made it official and I’m proud to call him my boyfriend.  He’s so neat.  ;)

I have to pinch myself with him.  Choosing appropriate male suitors has never been one of my strong suits.  What a welcome change to have an intelligent, stable, and hard working man in my life who treats me with respect.  Despite 2000 miles separating us, I can honestly say that [with the obvious exception of being with my children] I’d much rather talk on the phone or Skype with him than do anything else.  T0 be able to have somebody so supportive– and encouraging– of my situation means the world to me.  I’m not about to let my love life distract me from my mission to save Adam, but I cannot even begin to articulate how wonderful it is to have him on my team.  He’s so supportive of my goals and I look forward to what the future holds.

Adam's sister, Tatum, whom he has never met.

Note to self:  post the photos from Chelsea Dean’s photo shoot of Tatum at Neshoba.  I also commit to blogging at least once a day until I start to make a dent in all the things on my mind. 

Thank God I resume work on Monday.  Several days ago I went to the church to talk to M about new developments and the impending Easter rush.  As soon as I walked in the Pastor gave me a hug and said “welcome home.”  It’s such a comfort knowing that I was missed and am appreciated by my coworkers whom I deeply admire.  I can’t wait to get back to my job!

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Three strong women

01 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in Angels, Brandi, California, Da Real Homiez, Domestic Violence, Kids, Parenting, Women

Chrissy, me, and Brandi

The Celebration of Life for our angel, Ashlyn, was today.  What a relief it was to be in a peaceful and happy– surprisingly enough– environment to share our joy that we had 15 months with this wonderful little girl.  It was nice seeing Chrissy’s mom and Heather [her sister] again….and I was especially happy to meet Heather’s beautiful children and to hear they are now living in Nipomo.  As always, Xander was precious.

And, um, can I please get the recipe for whoever made that potato dish?!  I was literally scraping the bottom of the glass after my 57th helping.  Delectable cuisine like that is the quickest way to get a depressed and malnourished girl stuffing her face again.  ;)

So it’s not necessarily the best picture of the three of us, but the image I’ve shared here is so valuable to me.  Brandi and Chrissy were my first real friends here.  Each of us are survivors of domestic abuse, having met at the North County Women’s Shelter.  We started rebuilding our lives together.  We’ll always be linked because of this.  I absolutely adore these strong, courageous, and beautiful women.  Such an honor it is to call them friends.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

Ashlyn’s ashes

23 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Angels, Da Real Homiez, Death, Grief, Upset

The better portion of this past week has been spent in San Luis Obispo at Chrissy’s house. Most nights have been spent with my dear friend and her sweet son, Xander. She can’t be alone and we grieve together. I drove her to Santa Barbara today to pick up Ashlyn’s ashes. We cried and cried. My poor Chrissy. No parent should have to ride home clutching their daughter’s urn. Her remains were wrapped in her favorite princess blanket, still smelling of the sweet little angel gone too soon.

Some have cautioned that it may be too much for me to endure her heartbreak as well…Ashlyn’s loss is crushing. This past week– especially today– has left me drained. Yet it helps me as it hurts me. Being there for Chrissy fulfills my spirit. Helping my friends helps my heart, mind, and soul.

So why haven’t I written about all this? For whatever reason I still cannot get online at my apartment and Chrissy doesn’t have the Internet at hers. I’ve been blogging on my laptop and will go to the library to upload them all to WordPress tomorrow. Not being able to share my thoughts in ‘real time’ has been both a blessing and a curse. As nice as it is to unplug and reflect within myself, I desperately need an outlet.

Thank you for everyone who has kept us in your prayers. We truly appreciate the support. Give us strength for our journeys as we face long and difficult roads….

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

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The angel princess, Ashlyn

11 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by Cocktails With Hemingway in * R. i. P. *, Angels, Friends, Heartbreak, Kids

*~Ashlyn Michele Fancher Pena~*

12/27/10 – 3/8/12

Words fail me.  Instead I stare at her sweet little face and sob.  I cannot yet process that I’ll never again be able to give Ashlyn a hug, that her precious smile will only be in photographs.  Although I am profoundly affected by the loss of a young life– and have written about the unimaginable grief of friends here– this is the first time it has happened to a child I know and love.  I’m completely and utterly devastated.

I cannot even imagine how Chrissy, her mother, must feel.  A horrific accident with their television claimed the life of her second child and only daughter.  Poor, poor Chrissy.  May God be with her.

Ashlyn and her brother, Xander, transformed the women’s shelter from a house to a home.  Adam adored his new playmates and doted on ‘Princess’ as he called Ashlyn.  Literally:  “Does Princess need a bottle?”  “Is my little sister going to be like Princess?”  Being able to cuddle a precious baby girl helped build my anticipation for meeting Tatum.  I loved the times where Chrissy had to swap out laundry or grab something from her car and I’d watch the kids.

How will Xander process?  He won’t understand but he’ll certainly notice his sister’s absence.  Will he remember her?  He’s barely 2.  I just can’t believe she isn’t with him physically anymore.  Adam has a very limited comprehension of death and I’m not going to share this with him, not yet.  But when he sees Chrissy, and especially when he sees Xander, he’ll demand to know where Princess is….

I’m so grateful that Chrissy and the kids stopped by the church two days before I got my vehicle.  They gave me a ride back to my apartment as we talked about getting everyone together for Adam’s birthday.  Xander was chatty while Ashlyn slept.  I caught a glimpse of her as I opened the door– she was sound asleep and looked so peaceful.  Just like a little angel.  And now she is one.

Rest in peace, sweet Princess Ashlyn.  <3

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane