With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
Happy Thanksgiving
22 Nov 2012 Leave a Comment
Throughout my Facebook newsfeed I see ’30 days of Thanksgiving’ posts scattered amongst pictures of delicious food, family gatherings, and wishes for the holiday. I’m grateful that the vast majority of people seem to be enjoying themselves and appreciating what they have. But what about the other 364 days of the year?
Be thankful DAILY. Remain humble and put things into perspective. Somebody, somewhere suffers more than you do. By contrast, your biggest tragedy could be a welcome relief to somebody else. I am ‘without’ my kids but I know where they are and what they’re doing. They’re healthy, happy, and loved. When I think of friends like Tasha and Tim who are literally without a child, how can I complain?
Gratitude [and a sense of humor] helps me survive.
I’m thankful for those individuals who have impacted my life– be it family, friends, star dwellers, or people of the past. Every one of you gave me knowledge and wisdom from which I have learned.
And I’m especially thankful for the opportunity to have known people like *Lauren Witty.* Happy birthday, sweet girl! Rest in peace.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
9 months
21 Nov 2012 Leave a Comment
in Tatum
Heavy on my heart today is the impact of my absence on Tatum. What does her tiny mind, lacking the capacity for complex emotional response, ‘think’ of me? Did she wonder why I suddenly wasn’t there after so many wonderful days together? Does she feel abandoned or experience separation anxiety? Has she been fussy? Is she easily distracted? Exactly what can she remember?
“Ce qui embellit le désert, dit le
petit prince, c’est qu’il cache un puits quelque part…”
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
Is this really happening?
13 Nov 2012 Leave a Comment
Ten glorious days with Tatum transported me to a blissful state, much like a dream. She’s gone now. And I’m wide awake.
How much more must we endure?
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
“The foundation I’m built on is unshakable faith”
10 Nov 2012 Leave a Comment
in * R. i. P. *, Angels, Faith, Heroes, Inspiration
I cannot stop reading these words. How I wish I could say “the foundation I’m built on is unshakable faith.” The events of this year solidified the fact that my foundation is built on sand. My faith is shaky at best. But this is not the time to analyze my existential crisis. Despite my spiritual purgatory, I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to Will Hart. We never once spoke of religion…but he didn’t have to say a word to forever impact my personal spirituality. Never once did he falter in his faith as Ava fought– and ultimately lost– the battle for her life. He’s such an inspiration to me and I am deeply saddened that I did not know him better.
Will’s memorial service was this morning at Faith Baptist Church. His parents and brother put together a poignant video tribute to him that I hope makes its way to YouTube if it’s not there already. It comforts me knowing that he no longer suffers from an irreparably broken heart because he’s reunited with his little girl.
My heart aches for the Hart family. In a cruel twist of fate Will’s girlfriend lost her father in a motorcycle accident on the same day. I cannot even imagine her pain. A visit with Tasha, Ava’s Mommy, is one of my highest priorities before I return to California. Shortly before Ava’s passing she reflected on how far we’d come since we met a year ago….truer words were never spoken. I love you, Tasha.
Please keep these individuals– and all who have hearts heavy with grief– in your thoughts and prayers.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
Ad astra per aspera
09 Nov 2012 Leave a Comment
May 17, 2012.
The last entry on Cocktails With Hemingway.
Miles To Go Before I Sleep offered a watered down, PC version of my blogging objective. Yet Miles met its demise mere weeks after its inception because I succumbed to fear. I silenced my voice. Those of you who know me understand how hard it is for me to refrain from commenting on anything and everything– from the seemingly inconsequential minutiae of daily life to the profound events capable of shaping our future. For months I didn’t utter a word.
- My children went without their mother and I remained 2500 miles away from my infant daughter;
- Malala Yousafzai, a 14 year old Pakistani schoolgirl, continued to advocate for girls’ education despite an attempt on her life by the Taliban;
- I illegally squatted in a storage facility, struggled in vain to find employment, and my belly knew the sharp pangs of hunger all too well;
- Our country grew divided by a bitter election between two men of stark contrast, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney;
- People I cared for deeply passed away, some of natural causes, others in tragic and horrific ways;
- For the first time in my entire life I understood the true meaning of defeat: how it feels to be completely devoid of hope, believing that you have irreparably damaged your family, and failed your children beyond belief….
Still I remained silent.
Mark Kelly & Gabby Giffords
And then I heard Mark Kelly’s statement today [expect a post in the very near future regarding these words], spoken to Jared Loughner during the latter’s sentencing– and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Courageous men and women have given their lives for me throughout history. Because of their ultimate sacrifice I can exercise my First Amendment right to free speech that I am guaranteed as a citizen of this country. What a hypocrite I am, urging people to vote when I’m not utilizing my own rights to their fullest potential.
It is not only my right but my DUTY as an American to publish Cocktails With Hemingway.
I vow to uphold the Constitution and exercise my freedom at every opportunity. Armed with the invaluable wisdom of experience, I have finally mastered the art of expressing myself in a way that is not detrimental to my family. So long as there is air in my lungs and blood coursing through my veins….this blog will exist.
Thanks to a program on my iPhone, I can ‘copy and paste’ whichever child I’m not with into family photos.
As I write this I’m at our family home in Memphis for a ten day visit. Tatum’s sleeping soundly in the next room– it’s the first time I’ve seen her in over eight months. Can you believe my daughter is almost nine months old and has never met her brother? November 17 marks the one year anniversary Child Welfare Services ‘detained’ Adam, seizing him unexpectedly from preschool. Our lives have been in disarray ever since.
Until tomorrow.
With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane
