San Luis Obispo

I could get used to seeing this….

‘Insanity’ is the understatement of the 21st century for describing this past week.  Let me attempt to make this convoluted story as clear and concise as possible:

- The three of us are moving to San Luis Obispo, California.  We’re leaving tonight on the train.  After spending most of the day tomorrow in Chicago we’ll head to the west coast on a direct ride.

- As unexpected as this move was for me….it was never out of the realm of possibility, having been something we’ve considered for months.  Will and I did not make this decision lightly and we took into account the potentially negative effects this could have on Adam.  Thankfully he has tons of cousins and a loving family to help ease the transition!

- While I will discuss the reasons for our move in greater detail later, suffice it to say money issues and the job market served as our impetus for the relocation.  I’m still expoloring employment opportunities in my new home but Will has a job waiting on him as soon as we arrive.  Now that I have a much better understanding of myself and the way my mind works, I am confident that graduate school is within my reach.  Obviously I’m not going to make any major decisions until we settle– but it’s nice to know there’s a good college in town;)

- I’ve already found a spiritual home in our new locale.  As heartbreaking as it will be to leave Neshoba, immersing myself in this new community will help me navigate my surroundings and get my feet on the ground.

- TO EVERYONE:  Because this is the first time I’ve been able to sit in front of a computer, privately, for any length of time…..I am still sifting through my 50+ messages on Facebook.  I will respond to each and every one of you.  Your patience is greatly appreciated.

- Leaving my best friends is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  Keep in mind I was born and raised in Memphis and with the exception of a year in Oxford [only an hour away in Mississippi] for college, I’ve never left this place.  Progressive as I may be– I am a southern girl through and through.  I love the wonderful city of Memphis and it pains me to leave.  I trust my nearest and dearest to hold down the fort for me while I am away.  Maris McLoskey, Danielle Dunn, Seth Robertson, Megan Childers, Liv Blow, Ashley Hisky, and Neshoba Unitarian Universalist Church…..there are no words to describe how much I will miss you.  Love to each and every one of my friends, even those I did not list.

- The next time I update we’ll be in California!!  Until then…..

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

10 Weeks

Week 10′s imagery

 [[ Image courtesy of Baby Center and info from WebMD ]]

Baby: Congratulations! Your baby is now officially called a “fetus.” It looks a little like a medium shrimp, measuring 1.25 to 1.68 inches from crown to rump, and weighing a little less than two-tenths of an ounce. You might be reassured to know that most physical malformations, when they occur, have occurred by the end of this week, so the most critical part of your baby’s development is safely behind you. But other developmental processes, such as those affecting behavior and intelligence, will continue throughout pregnancy. Eyes are covered by skin that will eventually split to form eyelids.

Mom-to-be: You still probably don’t show, but you may be wearing looser clothes. You may even be starting to eye maternity clothes, although you probably still don’t need them. You may continue to feel tired and moody, but take heart: These symptoms shouldn’t last too much longer.

Tip of the Week: If you’re going to have chorionic villus sampling (CVS), a prenatal test used to detect genetic defects such as Tay-Sachs, sickle cell anemia, most types of cystic fibrosis and Down syndrome, it will probably be scheduled between now and 12 weeks.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

“I live life like the captain of a sinking ship…..”

Week 9

Week 9's imagery

[[ Image courtesy of Baby Center and info from WebMD ]]

Baby: The embryo measures about 0.9 inches to 1.2 inches from crown to rump, or the size of a strawberry. The arms and legs are longer, and the fingers might be a little swollen where the touch pads are forming. The head is more erect and neck is more developed. Your baby now moves its body and limbs, and this movement can be visible during an ultrasound, but you won’t be able to feel it yet.

Mom-to-be: Your uterus is continuing to grow, and you may begin to see your waistline thickening. But unless you tell people the good news, your pregnancy still won’t be noticeable to others. Weight gain is still small, if at all, since you could be experiencing food aversions, cravings, heartburn, indigestion, nausea and bloating. Mood swings and weepiness similar to PMS symptoms are common, too.

 

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

 


And the names are……

If it’s a GIRLTatum Marisann Reed
If it’s a BOYDylan Andrew Reed

Neither one of us believes in names without significant meaning.  We chose Adam as a tribute to Adam Sontag and his middle name, Harrison, is the first name of Will’s deceased father.  Tatum is a moniker that Will and I have always loved.  Bonus points for the fact that Tatum O’Neal is someone whom I admire greatly.  Marisann is a combination of my best friend– my soul sister– Maris [who also named her daughter after me!] and Ann, a maternal family name from Will’s side.  Doesn’t it sound so unique and French-y?  ;)

Everyone knows I’m a lover of the written word.  I am also passionate about music.  So Dylan serves as a perfect way to fuse my penchant for the poet Dylan Thomas with the timeless songs of musician Bob Dylan.  Andrew was Will’s original middle name– it was changed from William Andrew Elder to William Anthony Reed for reasons too complex to discuss here– and we believe it’s important to recognize that a change of name on a piece of paper doesn’t change who you are.

Tatum Marisann or Dylan Andrew…..we can’t wait to meet you!  Mommy, Daddy, and Adam already love you so very much.  <3

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

I would like some cheese with my whine

Sickness permeates the atmosphere of the Wilke-Reed casa.  Adam has strep throat, Will has been vomiting profusely, my mom is on the tail end of a bug that made her dizzy and weak and I feel like I have all of the above.  Blah.  The three of us have been lying around all day trying to relax and stay hydrated.  I’ve also tried valiantly to avoid the news because there is not enough Promethazine in the world to eradicate the nausea– and anger, frustration, and disgust– knowing that this callous child killer walks free.

Being stressed to the max certainly isn’t helping anything.  I try my best to avoid it but when it surrounds me from all directions from every person I encounter it’s inevitable.  Will got hit with a double whammy yesterday:  some loans he’d expected fell through and certain members of their family put their sorry white trash on full display.

Excellent product placement

If you’re loaning/giving me $100, a new car, my own private island– whatever– I’m not going to rely on anything until it’s in my hands.  This has absolutely nothing to do with the credibility of the individual, it’s just me being cautious and pragmatic.  Discussing money irritates me to no end so I’m just going to stop this conversation right here.  Luckily we requested money to get ahead– not get out of debt– so it’s not the end of the world that things fell through.  Being broke has only strengthened our union.  The couple that eats Ramen noodles together stays together!  Actually, our diet’s a little better than that because we have food stamps, so we can be poor and still have fresh produce.  Win.

As for his family….wow.  Just wow.  I adore Will’s sisters, Holly and Angela, and his Grandma Elder.  And I miss his Grandpa Elder every day.  Those are the only kinfolk of his I’ve actually met but even the ones I only ‘know’ through Facebook seem like great people and you can tell they genuinely care for Will and our little family.  However, Grandma Dorris and Uncle Jimmy can– to steal a beautiful quote from Miss Britney Jean Spears– “kiss my lily white southern Louisiana ass.” Substitute ‘Tennessee’ for ‘Louisiana’ and there you have it.  Part of me wants to chastise these lowlife scumbags for what they’ve done and how they talked to my husband publicly on this blog…..but they aren’t worth anymore of my time and energy.  Suffice it to say they’ll have a lot of explaining to do when they meet their maker.

Auto correct always puts a smile on my face

All this complaining isn’t good for my health and does nothing to solve my problems.  So I’d like to take a moment to congratulate Will on his awesome new mechanic job that will allow us to live comfortably.  We also decided on our apartments so now it’s only a matter of weeks before we are able to move.  More on both of those later.

Between feeling like total dog poo and getting riled up about the aforementioned topics….don’t even get me started on June’s welfare rant.  The only thing worse in life than talking to computer techs over the phone is dealing with anyone from the ’public assistance’ section of the government.  I completely agree with her thoughts and would like to write a companion piece when I get to feeling better.  Goodnight all.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,
Sloane

Guest blogger: June [welfare rant]

I am proud to introduce June C. Straight Crosby as my first guest blogger! Read on for June’s rant about our welfare system and be sure to check out her blog, Christian in Progress. Guest bloggers are always welcome on Cocktails With Hemingway so please email [sloanewreed@gmail.com] if you are interested.

June

 The health department is never a fun place to be. No matter who wealthy the municipality, how comfortable the seating, how organized the staff, any health department on any day is a bad place to be, at least for me.

See, the thing about the health department is, if you’re there it’s either because you need something checked out on the low or you can’t afford the care or services you need. And like you, everyone else in that waiting room is in the same predicament. It’s a bad scene.

So why am I ranting about health departments? Well, I’m just trying to set the scene. My rant for the day is on the quickly spreading and ridiculous notion that welfare recipients should be drug tested.

Several states are pushing bills to push the poor through more hoops to get the little help they can to survive. I know, I know … health departments.

As I ran across a story today reporting that Missouri — my current location — was considering a similar bill, I got mad as hell a little upset.

More than a few of my peers agree with this stipulation, so I’ve heard the argument before. “If they’re taking hard-earned tax-payer dollars, they shouldn’t have a problem proving they’re not just using the money for drugs.”

Since most of my views on politics are completely irrational and emotional, I usually try to avoid talking politics with my professional peers and colleagues. But today, coming across that story, I kind of felt the need to speak up.

I mean, it wasn’t that long ago, that I was “taking” hard-earned tax-payer dollars. I was 21 when I had my daughter, in college and making a whopping $8,000 a year. I got a job straight out of college making a slightly better $24K, but after taxes, I was bringing home about $18K a year. My husband (then baby’s daddy) was getting his start as a professional tattoo artist and neither of us were in a position to pay for health insurance, or anything really outside of the rent, car note, and utilities.

So, being the responsible mother I am, I signed my daughter up for medicaid and WIC, because milk, cereal and juice become luxuries when you’re broke and on your own.

I remember spending hours at the health department, every three months just to get WIC vouchers and shots for my baby. Hours I had to take off from my job that already didn’t pay enough. Hours I had to sit in a room full of other mothers with their sick, whiny and fidgety children to get what I needed to keep my child healthy.

It wasn’t a fun situation. Most days, the place would be so full I’d spend at least an hour on my feet. Then after the three hour wait, I’d get a 5 minute visit with a case worker, another hour wait and a 10 minute talk with a doctor or nutritionist.

I’m not complaining. I’d have done anything to keep my baby fed. But I can’t imagine on top of all that, being asked to piss in a cup to prove that I’m not too much of a lowlife to get vouchers to feed my baby.

I don’t know much about welfare, by the time my daughter was 3, I was making too much money to qualify for WIC or Medicaid. And even with the little I was making before, I never qualified for anything more.

But I do know that the people I am acquainted with who receive public assistance are not ballin’ out of control.

They’re not buying dope and pinky rings with their Section 8 vouchers and EBT cards.

Frankly, I don’t understand what the correlation be drug use and public assistance is, but I don’t like the insinuation of this bill — that hiding in the welfare system are a bunch of lazy junkies.

On the flip side, it’s going to be interested watching this “attack the poor” strategy backfire. The economy’s downward spiral has changed the face of the stereotypical welfare recipient. I’m not just talking about race here, but also socioeconomics. In case the tea-party politicians haven’t noticed, it’s getting hard for the middle class to feed their babies too. A lot of them are losing jobs, facing foreclosure, and already using food pantries and thrift stores. I wonder how some of these “respectable” constituents are going to feel when after years of giving away their hard-earned tax dollars, they find themselves pissing in a cup for groceries.”

Screw you, Lord Megatron

Idiocy at its finest

Some of my fondest memories throughout childhood and my teenage years involve going to the movies with my cousins and dad. We’ve purchased advanced tickets, waited in lines on opening day that wrapped around the theater, and rushed the concession stand to stock up on goodies– all of us were very well versed in all things cinema. I’ve been interested in film for as long as I can remember.

While my tastes have changed and expanded throughout the years, the rare excursion [have you looked at ticket prices lately?!] to Malco delights me, especially if it’s a film where the audience’s energy is almost palpable. Most exhilarating of all of these are series…..Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, etc.

Let me tell you one franchise that will never get a dime of my money: Transformers. Michael Bay has made a career of blowing stuff up so I’m sure I won’t have to look far to find something else to satiate my appetite for destruction. Other than Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox I have no idea who stars in them, so it’s no aversion to the actors, though I’m not particularly familiar wither either one of them. It’s not even the premise, either. Machines are cars that turn into robots with mass firepower. Woohoo! Certainly it’s not realistic but I’ve heard of concepts much more far-fetched.

Why do I despise Transformers so? Because the person who stalked and harassed me for years loves it. That alone is enough to make me vow to never watch any of them. I’ll literally change the channel if I stumble across a preview. It makes me sick to my stomach.

Lord Megatron. All I know is that he is a character/transformer/whatever the hell you call them. However, Lord Megatron doesn’t just grace the screen at your local multiplex or bounce around on the pages of your comic books! My stalker referred to himself as…..Lord Megatron. Apparently the arch-nemesis [bookmark this term because I'll revisit it later] of Lord Megaton is some sort of Octagon Prime– really?!– and that was me. Even though I’m cracking up as I type this there’s absolutely nothing funny about it because this deranged lunatic took my peace of mind and did not stop until the police were involved.

In retrospect I realize there were glaring red flags regarding Lord Megatron’s behavior, most of which stemmed from his obsession with superheroes, villains, and comic books. I know plenty of sane, well-liked, and socially adept individuals– of all ages and genders– who collect comic books and have a healthy appreciation for superheroes. This is normal. Who hasn’t emulated a superhero, especially as a child? Not to suggest this is something you should ‘grow out of’…..I know I can’t sit through a Spiderman movie without wishing webs could shoot from my fingertips while I leap tall buildings in a single bound, scale vertical surfaces, fly all over the globe, and save the world on my off day. Doesn’t everyone want that?! I no longer read comics [back in the day I had quite the Betty & Veronica collection] though I certainly don’t think anything less of people who enjoy them, especially graphic novels or those illustrated stories with a more complicated plot better suited for adults.

My problem is when people’s obsession with superheroes, villains, and comics becomes entwined with their perception, thus skewing their version of reality. In the case of Lord Megatron, he was so caught up in his fantasy world he could not distinguish fact from fiction. Not only is this unhealthy but it has the potential to become dangerous. Whether it’s comic books, video games, or anything else– a hobby should not evolve into a delusion. Please do not read this and go assault that geeky heterosexual boy who would not detach himself from World of Warcraft if a beautiful, naked woman was two feet away from him just dying to take his V card….but be mindful of those who do not seem fully grounded in reality. Whether it’s stalkers or rapists or serial killers, I’ve found that there is a noticeable detachment in these types even if these people can retain some semblance of normalcy and function in the world relatively well.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane [a.k.a. Octagon Prime]

Happy birthday, Sean….we miss you!

I know recent events have infuriated you....but I take comfort in the fact that the demon won't be released on your birthday as originally scheduled. We think of you constantly.

“Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep”
Mary Frye
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

 

Tweakers, birth control, the death penalty, etc.

5 Ways Methamphetamine Can Make You a New Person

Adam painted these in summer school. Aren't they lovely?

Sick and tired of having to justify your crystal meth habit to those sluggish, slow-brained folk?

15 Pregnancy Power Foods

Even if you’re not pregnant you should take a glimpse at these nutritious foods.  Raw broccoli may not be your idea of culinary bliss so be mindful of how to incorporate the items into dishes you enjoy.  I was pleasantly surprised how….common…a lot of these things were and how much of them I already like.  [[Sidenote: While I am on pregnancy and parenting websites daily-- I try to only share the ones I think will be most interesting to my readers-- regardless of whether or

not their uterus has an occupant or they claim a dependent other than themselves on their tax return]]

Innocence and the Death Penalty

I found this article through a link on an Amnesty International Piece entitled ’35 Years Of Death Penalty Regret.’  While I’m against the death penalty– though not for ethical reasons– the thought of innocent people facing execution makes me ill.  “Since 1973, 138 people in 26 states have been released from death row with evidence of their innocence.  Not to imply that a person should be found guilty if there is room for reasonable doubt [though it happens all the time]….but nobody should be sentenced to death without incontrovertible proof of their guilt of a heinous crime.

Lesbian marine in California to be jailed after she and girlfriend ‘faked marriages with male colleagues to pocket $75,000 in allowances’

The headline alone caused me to snicker before I even read this; however, there was really nothing funny in the piece.  To make a long story short the marine wanted to live with her civilian girlfriend off-base but couldn’t afford it, thus prompting her to marry a fellow soldier, a male heterosexual.  Of course– reading only the first few sentences– the rabble-rouser in me said: “Haha, look at them making a statement and calling attention to some archaic limitations our society places on love!“  But then we learn that the civilian girlfriend marries a marine as well…..their living arrangements are questioned, the marines are in lots of trouble and their is possible jail time.  Most shockingly, the female marine seemed blissfully unaware that she could get in any sort of trouble for this.  While I applaud the fact that she did not hide her girlfriend, she should have fully understood the consequences, and been willing to take more of an activist stance.  Overall I felt like her attitude and lack of research made her an inappropriate ‘role model’ [if you can even call her that] for the cause and A) it’s absolutely ridiculous that the military– though they certainly aren’t the only organization guilty of this– doesn’t respect and honor those who serve equally and B) marriage is still defined by gender as opposed to love.

Birth control, exams to cost more at Planned Parenthood

Budget cuts in Davidson County [Nashville, TN] put Planned Parenthood in a bind.  Sadly this is all too common at Planned Parenthoods throughout the nation.  Select staunch conservatives erroneously equate this crucial organization with an ‘abortion factory’– I actually heard that phrase used somewhere!– but your personal beliefs about a woman’s right to choose should not negate the importance of Planned Parenthood.  If you disagree with some of the services they provide, take your business elsewhere.  Don’t forget that they provide gynecological services to low-income and/or uninsured women, contraceptives, and disease testing.  We desperately need this.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,

Sloane

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