One to three sentence updates on twelve topics rolling around in my head.

1.)  Delighted as I may be to have my new iPhone [having been without a cellular device since April and all] with my old number, this is a time for personal reflection.  Which is a nice way of saying I want to personally reflect in solitude.  My two week stint of being a social butterfly has come and gone.

2.)  I live life on life’s terms…one day at a time.  Spirit aligned the forces of the universe to do for me what I could not do for myself.  While I may be completely powerless, I choose to be in control.

3.)  My Aunt Tish, Dad’s sister, is moving in with us at the beginning of next month.  We’re on a mission from God to make this place spic and span in the process of some creative rearranging.  I can’t wait to see my aunt again, it’s been too long!

He won't get the joke when we have to dismantle his fort.

The fort prior to its demolition.

4.)  Until I lugged them all upstairs today, Adam made quite the fort out of the boxes Aunt Tish had shipped.  That boy is a force of nature whose energy knows no bounds.  Spend an hour with him and you’ll be exhausted.

5.)  Considerably less hyperactive than her big brother, Tatum is my little sweetie.  She also has career aspirations and has announced her plans to be a teacher.  In the meantime, she’s practicing rolling her tongue.

6.)  I adore Tatum O’Neal and recently read her book, A Paper Life, again.  She’s such an inspiration to me.  It is no coincidence she shares a name with my daughter.



7.)  Today’s sermon at Neshoba revolved around what happens when we die.  It could not have come at a more appropriate time for me and I’ve been thinking about it all day.  Kudos on a job well done, Rev. Beth.

8.)  I very much want to see Mockingjay: Part 1 and The Theory of Everything.  Any takers?

9.)  “Tomorrow marks my seven year wedding anniversary with William Reed….We’re still legally married, but life has taken us on very different paths.  He’s the father of my children and that guarantees he’ll always have an important place in my heart.  Everybody makes mistakes.  I don’t judge him, I forgive him, and I love him.” ~  Facebook status 10/12/14

Grover Beach (October 2011)

Grover Beach (October 2011)

10.)  Online dating is not for me and I will no longer be on OkCupid.  Now is just not the time for me to date, period, much less have a significant other.  However, I did enjoy myself on the two dates I went on and made half a dozen or so new friends so all was not in vain.

11.)  For a variety of reasons I’m starting from square one tomorrow with my running program.  I won’t mention it again until its completion.  Would you believe me if I told you I had a really bad habit of starting things but not seeing them through until completion?!

12.)  “Logan International Airport:  Nude suspect assaults 84-year-old man after falling through ceiling” was the top trending story on Facebook yesterday.  I kid you not.  Read about it here if you don’t believe me.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,



Posted in Adam, Aunt Tish, Facebook, Family, Films, Neshoba, Procrastination, Recovery, Spirituality, Tatum, Will Reed | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

* R. i. P. * Wade Stooksberry

wadeIt is with profound sadness and a heavy heart I announce Wade Stooksberry lost his battle with brain cancer yesterday.  Although I never had the privilege of meeting of him, the words of countless others attest to the fact that he was one in a million.  His wife, Bethany Peters Stooksberry, is a friend I have known since childhood.

Wade [along with Bethany and other loved ones] chronicled his valiant battle with Stage IV glioblastoma on Caring Bridge.  The courage, strength, insight, faith, and humor he demonstrated in the face of an aggressive and terminal illness leaves me awestruck.  Be sure to read his beautiful obituary, written by his brother, here.  Rest in peace, Wade.  You will feel no more pain.

Bethany, there is so much I want to say to you…but for now let me just say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband and that you are loved by so many.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


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Busy Beaver

Why am I embarrassed to announce I have four dates this weekend?  It makes me feel borderline shameful, like I’m Cupid’s harlot, trying to maximize efficiency.  Don’t judge.  I look forward to lunch today with J and a post-work rendezvous with A.  Tomorrow there is dinner with C.  Sunday Downtown Dining Week kicks off with dinner with D.  Whew.  I’m exhausted just thinking about it.  Enough about dating.

Family fun day

Family fun day

I want to take a moment to give thanks to all the veterans for their service to our country.  No veteran should ever have to go hungry.  Click here to help give them meals.  Happy Veterans Day to all those who served.  Thank you.  Your sacrifice is greatly appreciated and never forgotten.  Happy Veteran’s Day. 

To honor the vet in our immediate family, my dad, we celebrated with a family outing.  We took the kids to Mellow Mushroom for a pizza lunch.  Watching Adam cut his little sister’s pizza with a knife warmed my heart.  Tatum barely touched her food because she was too excited to ‘go bouncy.’  Bouncing aplenty occurred at Kids Play, which is conveniently located next door to the restaurant.  I never forget for a second how grateful I am to have my family reunited and living in Tennessee.



Sarah and I have a new spot:  Rafa’s!  The food is delicious and reminds me of something I would have eaten in California.  My stint out west spoiled me in terms of Mexican cuisine.  Now that I’ve found something affordable, yummy, and authentic; it just might become my pre-work dinner destination.  I’ll be meeting Sarah there frequently as I help her plan her upcoming wedding and give my two cents on her house hunting.  Now that she’s doing all these grown up things I’m living vicariously through her.  ;)

Lorissa and me at Camp Ozark, 2000

Lorissa and me at Camp Ozark, 2000

November 12 was an eventful day.  Two dear friends of mine in two different states gave birth to their first child.  Missy welcomed a daughter, Lila, here in Memphis.  In Texas Lorissa’s son, Stephen, arrived.  Pictures coming soon.

Lorissa has been a friend of mine since middle school.  We met as campers at Camp Ozark and have been in each other’s lives ever since.  Camp friends truly are friends for life.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


Posted in Adam, Da Real Homiez, Family, Food, Holidays, Restaurants, Tatum, Tiny Sarah | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Good listener

“Do you hear me?  Do you hear me?  Yeah you hear me….because you’re such a good listener.”

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


Posted in Humor, Uncategorized, Women | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Cupid’s mighty arrow

What better time than now to share my internet dating adventures, part deux?  Hopefully within the next few days I’ll amplify the excitement in this department because I have several dates in the works.  I’m slowly but surely getting my feet wet.  Round two seems to be off to a smooth start.  Despite a few annoyances, a couple of sleazeballs, and a very interesting request, I have no major complaints.   It’s easier because I know what to expect and I’m at a much better place in my life than I was two years ago.

With a few notable exceptions, the users on my previous service failed to impress.  Here I find options and variety, interesting people whom I can relate to on a variety of levels, and I look forward to seeing what my inbox holds.  Overall the quality of potential suitors seems to have grown exponentially.  Compare it to pilfered instant coffee versus a Starbucks gift certificate legitimately obtained.  Cupid’s mighty arrow spears the questionable fish of dating sites past.

I’ll supplement this endeavor with some 90’s tuneage to make it more pleasurable for all parties involved. 

Although most women eschew politics for Tinder, I am not amongst them.  If I wanted to open the door to all sorts of lunatics quickly meet strangers within a given radius or seek validation for my appearance then I’d be on Tinder.  Wanting to rendezvous with me only because you find my photo attractive?  Take your shallow self elsewhere.  I crave substance.

[[ Sidenote:  Bashing Tinder is not my objective.  I actually think the concept is quite interesting– suddenly finding yourself face to face with an aesthetically pleasing person to see if there’s chemistry and a connection beyond the mutual physical attraction– but it’s simply not for me.  Pictures pale in comparison to personalities. ]]

Spare me the lecture on the necessity of attraction and chemistry.  We’re all human.  Looks do matter.  I realize that my photo probably prompted you to visit my profile…but I sincerely hope it’s the non-visual material that piques your interest and makes you stay.  I took the time to create a profile that is accurate and informative.  I even linked my blog [and issued the ‘dating disclaimer’] in the first sentence so people could see me in my natural element if they so desired.  Reading Cocktails With Hemingway tells someone more about me than any summary I post on a dating website.  Ample fodder for conversation can be found in the information I provided even without the blog.  So in other words, do your homework.  Start a dialogue that lets me know you took the time to read my profile just like I took the time to write it.

One of my favorite things about this particular site is that you can see who has viewed your profile.  Frowning upon those who message without viewing illustrates my hypocritical tendencies in the online dating world.  Sometimes I don’t read the profiles of people who message me.  I’m notorious for skimming.  And I have a tendency to let multiple conversations transpire before I even think to look at what they’ve written.  Oops.  However, in my defense I thoroughly read a profile before I message somebody making initial contact.

My ideal progression goes something like this–  laying the foundation with online communication, then phone correspondence, and finally human interaction.  Anyone who attempts to dissuade me from this preference automatically raises a red flag.  Need an example?  Let’s take a look at this pushy specimen and see how he ultimately got blocked:

DUDE:  Good morning we need to get together soon and chat over some coffee

[We d0n’t ‘need’ to do anything, homeboy.]

SLOANE:  I don’t meet people from here unless I’ve gotten to know them.

DUDE:  I understand that and at the same time is there something wrong with meeting me in a public place and getting to know each other over coffee

[So you tell me you understand and then immediately try to argue; that means you don’t understand.]

SLOANE:  Yeah there is.  Because I don’t know you.

DUDE:  So what would you like to know about me

SLOANE:  It’s not like me asking a few questions constitutes getting to know you.  When conversation flows naturally with somebody and I feel like we’ve connected, that’s when I’m willing to take steps towards meeting in person.

DUDE:  That’s fine I’m just trying to get to know you and where I’m from you meet up at a public place so you can look at the other person and have a more one on one connection with that person.

[Trying to push your ideas onto me won’t make me change my mind but it will show me how little you respect my beliefs.] 

DUDE:  What’s there to fear there are other people present and you can pick the place

[Aggressive much?]

SLOANE:  Where I’m from time is valuable and shouldn’t be wasted. Spending a little extra time on here lets me know whether or not I’m compatible with somebody so I don’t have to waste my time on a lousy outing.

You’re not my type. I don’t appreciate people saying they ‘understand’ and then getting pushy. So I think it’s a waste of your time trying to get to know me. I hope you find what you are looking for on here….but it’s not me.  Toodles.

That exchange was a double whammy of obnoxiousness.  Not only was he pushy and aggressive, but he also managed to pull off one of my biggest pet peeves here.  When I tell somebody I’m not comfortable meeting somebody until I get to know them on here half of them inevitably respond with “What do you want to know?”  Nothing.  If our conversation isn’t flowing organically then it’s going to fizzle.  If you haven’t been able to sustain our dialogue after what’s up for the first half a dozen times….number seven won’t be any different.  Don’t force something that isn’t there.

Onto more pleasant things.

Want to go on a date with me?  Carpe diem, intrepid dater.  Dazzle me with the eighth wonder of the world:  Downtown Dining Week.  Now is the perfect opportunity to become my culinary companion for a limited time only.  I am not nearly as receptive to dining excursions the other 51 weeks of a year.  My three course meal will only cost you $20.14 and you’ll become an internet celebrity when I blog about our adventure.  Win win.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,


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Faith in humanity restored

“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.” ~ William Wordsworth

fairyStumbling upon 30 Random Acts Of Kindness That Will Make You Love The World in my Facebook newsfeed restored my faith in humanity.  With all the political rancor in recent days, it could not have come at a more appropriate time.  My soul desperately needed this.  How inspiring.

Effective immediately I’m launching a personal Random Acts Of Kindness Challenge for myself– and I encourage you to join me.  Every day for the rest of November I will perform the act associated with the day of the month.  Many of these I won’t be able to complete exactly as they appear [here’s to praying I never get stuck in an elevator] but there’s no shortage of suitable substitutes.  I’m eagerly anticipating the opportunity to, often anonymously, brighten someone’s day when they least expect it.

With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,



Posted in Facebook, Highest Self, Inspiration, Words of Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

You are NOT “pro-life.”

I despise the term “pro-life.”  It’s such a glaring misnomer and I refuse to use it anymore.  Let’s call it what it really is:  anti-choice.

Although I would love nothing more than to to shame the ignorant morons picketing outside Planned Parenthood, I won’t turn this into my personal crusade advocating choice.  My passionate conviction that a woman has the right to choose is not the issue here, nor are my beliefs on those who vehemently oppose abortion.  Today my focus rests squarely on Amendment 1.

prochoice3Yesterday Tennessee voters passed Amendment 1 which states: Nothing in this Constitution secures or protects a right to abortion or requires the funding of an abortion. The people retain the right through their elected state representatives and state senators to enact, amend, or repeal statutes regarding abortion, including, but not limited to, circumstances of pregnancy resulting from rape or incest or when necessary to save the life of the mother.

Perplexed?  You’re not the only one.  Deliberately written to misguide voters, this confusing language masks the true intention of the amendment, which is giving the government full control to mandate abortion laws.  This amendment is a direct assault on the right to make private decisions free of government interference.  It’s an insult to women, implying they are incapable of making personal medical choices.  If this doesn’t infuriate, outrage, and terrify you….it should.

Fellow Germantown resident Katherine Riffle started a petition for Governor Bill Haslam to repeal Amendment 1.  She makes the crucial distinction that regardless of your personal beliefs about abortion, we must limit the powers of our government and prohibit them for dictating how we manage our private medical care.  I implore you to sign it immediately– and spread the word.

destinationDeceptive, inflammatory advertising during elections is nothing new.  Yet the media campaign for those in favor of Amendment 1 took it to an entirely new level.  Voters were duped and it’s absolutely shameful.  Deconstructing this ad makes me sick.  Calling Tennessee an ‘abortion destination’ is completely ridiculous, not to mention inaccurate.  Contrary to what these anti-choice folks want you to believe we’re not doling out abortions in my state, nor are they without strict guidelines.  Read about current requirements and regulations for abortion in Tennessee here.

Worth noting is the name of this particular organization.  Right To Life.  That’s a battle cry if I’ve ever heard one.  The prominent organization opposing Amendment 1 is considerably more subdued.  Vote No on 1.  Anti-choicers emphasize the unborn’s supposed right to life starting at conception.  What happens once life begins outside of the womb?

prochoice1Don’t even get me started on the irony that men on Capitol Hill feel qualified to pass legislation regarding women’s health issues.  Gender discrepancy aside, I am sick and tired of politicians interjecting themselves into my private life.  What goes on in my bedroom and in my body is none of their damn business.

Rabbi Micah Greenstein of Temple Israel had this to say at a Vote No on 1 rally earlier this month:  “I’m not in the pro-life or pro-choice camp.  I’m in the let’s-get-controlling-women’s-health-crises-out-of-the-politician’s-hands camp.  Isn’t it odd that folks who prefer less government regulation want more government regulation on a woman and her family’s private decision making?”


With infinite love, gratitude, and respect,



Posted in Anger, Feminism, Health, Memphis, Pregnancy, Religion, Sloane, Women, Words of Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment